..rejected..
*sighs* Sometimes I just don't feel like any of my friends care. I mean I know they do and stuff but it just don't seem like it. I could read stuff my friends write until I'm blue in the face and none of it would be about me. But yet 90% of the time I'm writing about them. Sometimes I just feel like I'm worthless to my friends. Theres always that one friend that they have thats better than me. I do everything I can to make them happy or to just be there when they need me.. but now I wonder is that ever enough? I guess not.. maybe not.. who knows anymore? I just want to be that special friend to someone that they can talk about all the time. I mean important things happen to me that make a difference and I still don't get noticed. Whats the deal? Am I not good enough? Am I a toxic friend that no one wants to be around? Someone please let me know.. I really just don't understand. All my friends act like I'm great and some of them even call me their best friend.. but it does'nt show.. and probably never will. I guess maybe I should just stay to myself and not have friends.. maybe then someone would have something to say about me. Hell who knows anymore? If I'm doing something that is wrong then why don't someone tell me. I mean is it that hard to make a friend known.. or is it easier to keep them hidden? I hate myself right now and I don't know why.. I mean I thought I had been doing the right thing all this time but apparently not. But oh well what the hell atleast i got my stuffed animals and my baby boy that won't never reject me and act like I don't exist. But whoever is reading this is probably tired of seeing me bitch about something.. but hell I'm entitled to bitch.. everyone else does. But fuck it I'm out