(no subject)
haha! internet (i miss ians old phone)! except not in my room which still means no new music-- which is really the only reason i wanted internet... i still dont think i can afford it.
i slept til 1 with alot of interupptions- so it wasnt sound sleep. and now im sitting here debating on what to do to fill time cause im in a mood the last few days where i have to be doing something. or at least not be by myself. *sigh* maybe something good and exciting will happen. i wish last weekend could have happened this weekend and maybe it wouldnt have been so terrible. i feel ansty to do something but i dont know what to do... i guess if i use my imagination i could come up with something. tomorrow will be spent in a variety of ways but all hopefully including bo and a swift ending to the evening with a park and a bottle of wine... or at least a park.
bo and i picked out a kitten yesterday. hes this awesome lil grey n white furball. im so excited :) haha bo says "we" got a kitty and that makes me smile. im thinkin of roasting marshmellows in celebration of kittys homecoming on tuesday evening.
yesterday was probably one of the best days ive had in a long time. i like septemeber not only cause my birthday is mid way through it, but because it really takes on an element that no other month seems to. everything just feels so vibrant and alive (maybe because it will be dieing soon) which in turns makes me feel this deep ease and joy in myself. a calm if you will. i woke up... went to SA... went with bo n ian to kroger... went with bo to get the kitty ... went to the forrest and just sat for three hours with him. it was refreshing to know that after so much anamosity and hatefulness between us that everything can be right again. sometimes hes too much for me- ill never understand the REAL meaning behind what's happening to us. it seems so...storybookish in a sense. all i know is, no one has ever made me melt on the spot the way he can or take my breath away... or make me cry for 4 hours alone at night and then make everything okay and make me feel as if nothing bad had ever happened. he also mentioned something that even though i know it wont happen (hes bad at actually getting things started) for three or more years- him just mentioning the fact he wanted to do it as early as possible (like next year) really made me feel like this isnt going to crumble. it seems like a big step for him to say that to me. and i appreciate it. i just wish i had been able to see rucca. i need her :(
ian has got me paranoid of horrible things.
and i still hate school.