(no subject)

[x_deceit_x]

im sorry for being dumb tonight...i just thought you'd be a little more affectionate towards me since you havent been able to hang out for a while...i mean i havent hung out with you for like two weekends and i was always used to being with you everyday of the weekend. i didnt mean to make you mad, but like i told you i just need the re-assurance that you love me. i know im greedy and hard to deal with thats why i do things for you. and i know it must seem hard for you to put up with it but im trying. i really am...im trying my hardest. TRUST ME. its hard for me too. im not used to being with someone i care for all the time...i used to only seeing the person every 3 months then just get used. its not fun. thats why when im with you i want everytime to be perfect and i know its not going to be just cause shit happens but im learning and you're learning too. i know at the begining of relationships its always hard but once we get past the begining it will be okay. i know we can do it...but im just not exactly sure why you can just go with it...just let it happen. if something happens we'll just both move on. we can do this. i just really want to know why im not considered your girlfriend. i know ive bugged you about this before and i know you hate it but it hurts. it truly hurts. everytime i think of it or everytime someone brings it up my heart crushes everytime. my heart feels like its being sliced into millions of piece and then stepped on. i love you a lot and i care for you more than anyone in this whole world. you probably hate readibg this cause you'll just get mad but ive tried to bring it up earlier and it seems like it goes in one ear and out the other. im not trying to be mean and im really sorry once again for acting retarded tonight but you mean a lot and i love you!<3

call me once you read this please. and dont forget to call<3 i love you
-LAURYN