poem i wrote for Jerry
The Card Game of Life
Never in my life did I think that we could or would have a friendship like this,
Never did I believe that you had the power to make my life bliss.
About 4 and a half years ago I realized just how much power you did hold.
Don’t let his words hurt you, God is your father, I was told.
I was always afraid of what you would think and how you would react,
So that’s why at 17 I ran with all my belongings packed.
You were always my role model, my judge, and mostly my friend.
I remember dreaming of the day my supposedly “shitty” life would end.
I never thought I would be thanking you for my childhood,
I never thought I would be grateful for the pain that I withstood.
I guess I’m trying to tell you that you were mostly right,
Aside from your attempts to help that always ended in a fight.
I understand you think you know the only way; you’ve done this all before.
But I have changed immensely since I walked out of your door.
You always calculate someone’s future from their past,
But this time, dad, you have to know that my good streak will last.
I’ll admit I had a revelation the other day sitting on my leather loan,
Everything you ever said was right; I almost called you on the phone.
You have a lot to show the world for all the work you have done.
But what about your family? You sure put us through a ton.
I have a closet full of clothes and a heart full of holes.
My childhood was a royal flush, but now I think I’ll fold.
This competition wasted years, and it sure was long and hard.
But now I lift my head up, ecstatic that I finally pulled the right card.
Life is like algebra, everyone has a different way to solve it.
I found mine and it works just fine, so your game I must quit.
I finally wake up every morning with a smile on my face.
I finally know what true love feels like, and I finally found my place.
I used to cry when I saw you drive down the road we once shared.
Untill I realized I can do this without you and I was no longer scared.
Now I cry when I see you out of sadness for you and your soul.
Because you can not share this happiness, and I guess that is your toll.
I’ve never been this happy because I constantly lived for you and your pride.
I’m sorry you can’t understand me, its something you just can not hide.
I love you unconditionally, forever, and until the day I die.
I’m thankful that you made me, starting as just a twinkle in your eye.
And even though this may not touch even a tiny piece of your heart,
Maybe it will spark thought in your mind, and that’s a great start.