Shitpooped
I'll just go day by day again, and maybe insert anything else that comes to mind.
Tuesday-Had school, boring as hell. I think that was also the day I found out how horribly I did on my art history test. I knew I wasn't as prepared as I wanted to be, but I did worse than I thought I would. My grade can recover, it just sucks. I had an A up until that quiz. I guess I can't really remember anything about Tuesday.
Wednesday-Worked on drawing and group speech stuff, worked 5-close at Staples, had a group meeting from 10pm-almost midnight at school. We got a lot done, and it was actually kind of fun. We laughed a lot, mostly because it was awkward, but it was just a huge relief to get things done and have no drama and know our speech would be okay. Then saw Ben for a teeny bit of time, then came home and did more homework and got about two hours of sleep, and then it was Thursday.
Thursday-Spanish was super boring, but I got to leave early since I always finish stuff before class is actually over. Then I went and talked to my mom for a little bit until drawing. We're drawing flowers right now. I really hated mine, but then a bunch of people in the class came over throughout our studio time and told me how much they liked it, a few people said it reminded them of Georgia O'Keefe, who I like, so I thought that was awesome. It still isn't complete, but I think it'll actually turn out to be something I'm going to be proud of in the end. After drawing I had to give my group speech. It went really well, I thought. It exceeded my expectations. I'm relieved, but also sort of sad it's over. It was my first group project at UNI where things went smoothly. After my speech, I went into my mom's office and pretty much crashed from being so tired. I also ate a really delicious sandwich. Then I had art history, which was pretty standard. After school I went to Ben's, and I'm pretty sure we went grocery shopping and watched Yes Man, which was good. Oh, also I finally opened an account at Veridian, thank goodness. I hate my old bank.
Friday-I woke up later than I wanted to, cleaned my room, got Ben, and we had band practice and watched most of The Rocker with the band and Tom, then practiced a little more, then Tomas left. Billy stayed a little bit later like he usually does just to talk about whatever, then he left and Ben and I hung out at my house until reasonably late, when we went to HyVee and then I took him home.
Saturday (today)-Woke up, got ready, worked 1-close at Staples. I really didn't want to be there most of the time, but as it got late, things got better and it was eventually acutally sort of fun. Not quite like Office Depot, but to be fair, I'm mostly just not used to it yet. There are a few people at Staples who are really nice now that I'm talking to them more, and it makes me hate it a little less. They haven't really showed me how to do anything though, so I feel kind of clueless on the specifics some of the time. I mostly guess. I mostly guess right.
Tomorrow is Easter, and I really don't want to be at my house. I hate those kinds of family gatherings. I'm sure I'll wake up too late to escape completely and then somehow get guilt-tripped into staying, fml. I'm not willing to give up my sleep though. I'm hoping I'll get to escape and hang out with Ben. Otherwise, I'll just be in my room all day drawing and pretending I don't feel well.
You know, as stupid as it is, I always imagine scenarios in my head that will never happen. Just amazing movie-like events that I wish could be real, but are the opposite of my reality, and then I wonder if there are people who are actually living the things I imagine, and I convince myself that there are because that seems like the only way that I can get by, knowing that it's possible, but then I also get really jealous of those people because I feel like I deserve things, as selfish as that is, and then I snap back to reality and I'm standing behind a cash register or sitting in a classroom or driving and almost running a red light or laying on my bed and I feel like I don't know why I'm here anymore.
It's all for the best, of course it is,
Ashley
Tuesday-Had school, boring as hell. I think that was also the day I found out how horribly I did on my art history test. I knew I wasn't as prepared as I wanted to be, but I did worse than I thought I would. My grade can recover, it just sucks. I had an A up until that quiz. I guess I can't really remember anything about Tuesday.
Wednesday-Worked on drawing and group speech stuff, worked 5-close at Staples, had a group meeting from 10pm-almost midnight at school. We got a lot done, and it was actually kind of fun. We laughed a lot, mostly because it was awkward, but it was just a huge relief to get things done and have no drama and know our speech would be okay. Then saw Ben for a teeny bit of time, then came home and did more homework and got about two hours of sleep, and then it was Thursday.
Thursday-Spanish was super boring, but I got to leave early since I always finish stuff before class is actually over. Then I went and talked to my mom for a little bit until drawing. We're drawing flowers right now. I really hated mine, but then a bunch of people in the class came over throughout our studio time and told me how much they liked it, a few people said it reminded them of Georgia O'Keefe, who I like, so I thought that was awesome. It still isn't complete, but I think it'll actually turn out to be something I'm going to be proud of in the end. After drawing I had to give my group speech. It went really well, I thought. It exceeded my expectations. I'm relieved, but also sort of sad it's over. It was my first group project at UNI where things went smoothly. After my speech, I went into my mom's office and pretty much crashed from being so tired. I also ate a really delicious sandwich. Then I had art history, which was pretty standard. After school I went to Ben's, and I'm pretty sure we went grocery shopping and watched Yes Man, which was good. Oh, also I finally opened an account at Veridian, thank goodness. I hate my old bank.
Friday-I woke up later than I wanted to, cleaned my room, got Ben, and we had band practice and watched most of The Rocker with the band and Tom, then practiced a little more, then Tomas left. Billy stayed a little bit later like he usually does just to talk about whatever, then he left and Ben and I hung out at my house until reasonably late, when we went to HyVee and then I took him home.
Saturday (today)-Woke up, got ready, worked 1-close at Staples. I really didn't want to be there most of the time, but as it got late, things got better and it was eventually acutally sort of fun. Not quite like Office Depot, but to be fair, I'm mostly just not used to it yet. There are a few people at Staples who are really nice now that I'm talking to them more, and it makes me hate it a little less. They haven't really showed me how to do anything though, so I feel kind of clueless on the specifics some of the time. I mostly guess. I mostly guess right.
Tomorrow is Easter, and I really don't want to be at my house. I hate those kinds of family gatherings. I'm sure I'll wake up too late to escape completely and then somehow get guilt-tripped into staying, fml. I'm not willing to give up my sleep though. I'm hoping I'll get to escape and hang out with Ben. Otherwise, I'll just be in my room all day drawing and pretending I don't feel well.
You know, as stupid as it is, I always imagine scenarios in my head that will never happen. Just amazing movie-like events that I wish could be real, but are the opposite of my reality, and then I wonder if there are people who are actually living the things I imagine, and I convince myself that there are because that seems like the only way that I can get by, knowing that it's possible, but then I also get really jealous of those people because I feel like I deserve things, as selfish as that is, and then I snap back to reality and I'm standing behind a cash register or sitting in a classroom or driving and almost running a red light or laying on my bed and I feel like I don't know why I'm here anymore.
It's all for the best, of course it is,
Ashley