i am not solitary while i read and write, though nobody is with me.
People fight all the time. It's kind of annoying when you try to make a point and it doesn’t even get half way to the person your trying to connect with. right? yea, right. With the small amount of free time i have, particularly during yearbook, which is where I find myself writing this journal entry, i like to scroll through peoples live journal. Today, i went to blurty.com. I have made it imperative that i don't delete that journal, for the first time,however, when i read through it, i laughed. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. I don't think i have ever felt that amused by something so depressing and embarrassing. Now, i am a believer, believer that there is always a way up when you feel that there is no where else to go. I finally deleted it. I finally let go. Physically i had let go a long time ago, emotionally; however, it has been a long road. One, which honestly i hope never to encounter again. ever. I feel sorrow for the people I know who are going through these rough times. It's so horrible that anyone should have to go through that. The worst part is, they never want to accept your help; people are always shutting you away, and then blaming you for the distance which inevitably surfaces. I wonder how long my present state of mind will remain the same; it seems as if waking up every morning is a contradiction in itself. But was it not Emerson that said “speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradicts everything you said today." I embrace it; it's a part of growing up. I have grown up a lot the past four months, i have experienced so many things, i wonder if in the next four months I’ll still agree with my actions. Maybe this is true love, or maybe i'm headed to the same direction i recently reversed from.