Warning - Long Entry
Dude, I want to reflect on these past weeks and highschool and everything, so here it goes:
I was just going through a phase and it was kind of an awkward one. I felt that I had no one in the word. No one had cared for me and ever really appreciated who I was and what I had to offer as a person. I realised I was attempting to be friends with people that didn't want to be friends with me, or at least that great of friends that I wanted. This made me take a huge overlook on life one night, and I decided to forgive the people I had big and small grudges for and just try to start a fresh sheet. I am still friends with these people, but I can wait for them. When they want to be good friends like we used to, then I will be here, but I just feel stupid attempting to do something that isnt there. And my boy situation. I used to be exteremely confident in my "boy skills" and when I started to get cocky that all started to deteriate. I tryed to lay back on my flirtation methods and it actually worked really well. I deleted my myspace and just added back the people who I truelly loved and cared for. After this, I just kind of kept my head held high and waited for the guys to approach me, which some did, and I liked it. Hey, I am single and totallllly ready to mingle. Highschool has been a very new experience. In middle school there was major ass drama over the tiniest shit, and it all got very annoying, and when one thing happened, it was all over. In highschool it is different. And I love it. The classes are getting fairly harder, but that is just preparing me for what is to come. Its better to see it now, then to have a huge kick in the ass later on in highschool. My parents are having a party, actually as I am writing this, and I keep getting the question, "What do you want to do when you get older?" This totally got me thinking. What the fuck do I want to do? I went from a doctor, to lawyer, but then I said to myself, I don't want to be one. I dont want to do what everyone else does. I am so different than that and Its just not something I can see myself doing in 20-30 years. I got the idea opf film school, but my mom totally flipped. Ooh well, my life not hers. But it is way early to be thinking about this. It feels really good to get this all off. I should do this more often.
I was just going through a phase and it was kind of an awkward one. I felt that I had no one in the word. No one had cared for me and ever really appreciated who I was and what I had to offer as a person. I realised I was attempting to be friends with people that didn't want to be friends with me, or at least that great of friends that I wanted. This made me take a huge overlook on life one night, and I decided to forgive the people I had big and small grudges for and just try to start a fresh sheet. I am still friends with these people, but I can wait for them. When they want to be good friends like we used to, then I will be here, but I just feel stupid attempting to do something that isnt there. And my boy situation. I used to be exteremely confident in my "boy skills" and when I started to get cocky that all started to deteriate. I tryed to lay back on my flirtation methods and it actually worked really well. I deleted my myspace and just added back the people who I truelly loved and cared for. After this, I just kind of kept my head held high and waited for the guys to approach me, which some did, and I liked it. Hey, I am single and totallllly ready to mingle. Highschool has been a very new experience. In middle school there was major ass drama over the tiniest shit, and it all got very annoying, and when one thing happened, it was all over. In highschool it is different. And I love it. The classes are getting fairly harder, but that is just preparing me for what is to come. Its better to see it now, then to have a huge kick in the ass later on in highschool. My parents are having a party, actually as I am writing this, and I keep getting the question, "What do you want to do when you get older?" This totally got me thinking. What the fuck do I want to do? I went from a doctor, to lawyer, but then I said to myself, I don't want to be one. I dont want to do what everyone else does. I am so different than that and Its just not something I can see myself doing in 20-30 years. I got the idea opf film school, but my mom totally flipped. Ooh well, my life not hers. But it is way early to be thinking about this. It feels really good to get this all off. I should do this more often.