It Was The Smartest Thing I Ever Did, Because Now You're Here (4/?)
Title: It Was The Smartest Thing I Ever Did, Because Now You're Here
Author: x_avecia_x
Rating: PG-13
Warning: I think this be very PG-13, NC-17 at worst. Talk about sex, and a few 'Oh my god's' but generally on the tamer side compared to the last chapter.
Word Count: 3,510
Disclaimer: I do not own Community - although I would totally marry Dan Harmon then claim half in our (inevitable) divorce settlement - that is unless he conceeds to my end game Jeff/Annie demands. If you recognize any of it, it isn't mine.
Summary: Annie and Jeff deal with the consequences of their attraction.
Author's Note: I feel bad for neglecting. Works kicking my ass right now and I got wrapped up in my new fic too but here's the next chapter :) Still think my characterization is all over the place but I guess in a fic that deals with a situation that will likely NEVER happen on the show it's harder to understand how characters will react.
Anyway, hope you like it :)
______
Tuesday 20th December 2011 (7 weeks, 1 day)
The bruise on Jeff’s face was noticeable for a full seven days after Pierce punched him. The only people who would actually talk to him were Troy, Abed and Annie (if only to tell him to stop following her/texting her/turning up at her apartment uninvited).
So, he told himself over and over again that there was nothing he could do until Annie decided what she herself was going to do. He contemplated telling his mother but he’d rather not get her hopes up of him finally, miraculously, having made her a grandmother only to then receive a lecture about impregnating girls almost half his age - or have to take it all back if Annie decided not to keep the baby.
And that left him sitting in his car, deciding whether or not his law career was really worth going back into Greendale to face the friends who were ignoring him, and other students simply pointing and staring. It was like being back in high school all over again.
As he sat and pondered whether to just drive his car off the nearest bridge the passenger door of his Lexus opened and Pierce climbed inside.
‘I’m really not in the mood today...’
‘And good day to you too Jeffrey - figured you’d be out here hiding like a little girl.’
‘What? I am not hiding...’
Pierce fixed him with a raised eyebrow and an even sterner looking glare.
‘Ok, maybe I am hiding, can you blame me though? Everyone out there is staring and talking about me - and not in a good ‘has he been working out?’ kind of way.’
At this point Pierce slapped him upside the head.
‘Hey! Watch it - I could still press charges you know.’
‘You’re the same, selfish, egotistical poser you’ve always been Jeff. No wonder Annie is seriously contemplating whether she wants to have your child or not.’
‘Just don’t Pierce, this is not a good...’
‘Not a good what Jeff? Not a good day to point out that Annie has a bigger set of balls than you? That she’s been walking around campus actually facing the people who’ve been pointing and talking behind your backs? You’ll happily let her do that on her own? You’re no man Jeff.’
Jeff groaned and tried to let the anger subside, thumping his fist against the steering wheel as he tried to understand why he couldn’t just get out the car and walk away from the aging idiot. As he moved to open the car door he noticed Leonard and his group of cronies looking right through his windscreen, laughing loudly. Oh yeah, that was why he was still in the car.
‘Well what do you expect me to do Pierce? Annie made it quite clear that she doesn’t want me to get involved and...’
‘...and you, as usual, took the path of least resistance and left her to fend for herself. For a lawyer you’re not defending yourself too well.’
Jeff tried to think of a way to argue back but he reluctantly had to admit that Pierce was right (which didn’t help his line of thought that he’d woken up a week ago in some alternate reality - he’d really been hanging around with Abed too much).
‘I don’t know what I can do to make her listen to me. And that’s if I can even get past Shirley and Britta long enough to get within 20 metres of her. They can get surprisingly violent when they want to be - I’m lucky there aren’t any jukeboxes on campus for Shirley to put my head through.’
‘Jeff, try putting yourself in Annie’s shoes - she might not want to talk to you but she needs to know you’re still around, that she can depend on you if she needs to even if she doesn’t want to. She can’t do that if you’re hiding and making her feel like an embarrassment to you. You embarrassed her enough last year after the whole Annie of it all fiasco don’t you think?’
Jeff looked at Pierce and for once saw a look of genuine concern on the older man’s face. It made everything so much harder to hear when Jeff really believed that there wasn’t some ulterior motive for the old man to act like he really cared.
‘She thinks I’m going to try to bury this like I did when she brought up having feelings for her last year?’ he asked, knowing already the answer to his seemingly rhetorical question.
But Pierce felt the need to confirm it anyway.
‘Again, put yourself in Annie’s shoes, how can she expect anything else? But at least you’ve finally admitted you have feelings for her...’
‘...I didn’t admit anything Pierce, and you bringing it up is not helping the situation.’
‘Neither is hiding in your car like a little girl. Still, something good has come out of this for you.’
Jeff knew that asking Pierce to elaborate was going to open a can of worms but he still questioned him anyway.
‘And what’s that then?’
‘Well, clearly you can get mini-Winger up and fully functioning for girls after all so maybe you’re not as gay as I thought you were.’
Jeff groaned and turned on the engine ignition.
‘Get out of my car Pierce before I throw you out - at high speed.’
Pierce laughed and nodded before opening the car door. He leaned his head back down as Jeff turned to face him down with a glare.
‘I’ll see you in study group later. I expect a stripper and a case of Cubans at my welcome back party.’
Jeff turned the glare into a smile and a wave as he watched Pierce wander off back inside the campus. With Pierce deciding to re-join the group he wished the dread he was feeling was related to that, but as Jeff turned the car ignition back off and opened the driver side door he realized the feeling must have been the one you get when facing your fears.
Mumbling ‘I’m gonna regret this,’ Jeff mentally shook himself as he walked toward the library. Instead he ignored the staring masses and declared loudly ‘I regret nothing!’ whilst holding his car keys over his shoulder and clicking the doors shut without looking back.
The moment he turned the corner both Shirley and Britta were standing there outside the library with arms folded and dirty looks on their faces.
‘Well, well, well! Humbert Humbert finally dares to show his face!’
‘May God have mercy on your soul Jeffrey!’
Jeff sighed and stood defiant in the hallway as he noticed through the glass that Annie was in the study room with the rest of the group (still minus Pierce), seemingly blissfully ignorant to the showdown taking place in the hall just yards away from her.
‘Look, I haven’t handled this well at all, and as much as, in a roundabout way, I appreciate you being so protective of Annie, we need to sort this out on our own. I can’t do that if you keep playing bodyguard to stop me from getting anywhere near to talk to her.’
‘And what if she doesn’t want to talk to you?’ retorted Britta, looking a little more than pissed off with her former friend-with-benefits.
‘Well have you asked her if she wants to talk to me?’
Jeff watched as Britta and Shirley looked at one and other.
‘We just assumed after Annie told you to leave her alone that she wouldn’t want to speak to you,’ Shirley clarified.
‘Yeah well, you know what happens when you assume things - you make and ass out of you and...’ he paused, having not thought through picking Shirley up on her choice of words, ‘...and her!’ he yelled, jerking his finger towards Britta.
And as Shirley turned to look at Britta in a gasp of surprise, Jeff capitalized on having distracted both of them for the simple few seconds he needed to get past their barricade and get into the study room.
‘Annie, enough of this bodyguard nonsense and ignoring me. We need to talk.’
She stared up at him from her seat and he noticed the look of fear in her eyes. So, he bent down to her eye level and decided to try a different tactic.
‘Please. I just want to understand what’s going on. In case you can’t tell, this is me begging,’ he all but whispered, noticing the four other pairs of eyes on them now.
‘I don’t think...’
‘Please Annie.’
With that she sighed and nodded her head, before getting up to leave the room. Jeff stood up to follow her out, before turning back to the rest of the group and raised his eyebrows in defiance at the scowls still plastered over the faces of Britta and Shirley.
He followed Annie into the storage room where she found him after the disastrous politics debate last semester. It all seemed so long ago now. And he remembered just what he’d said to her, that he too cared what she thought of him - and right now he cared too much because he couldn’t imagine what kind of thoughts were racing through her...
‘I’m keeping it, before you ask.’
Well that was not what he was expecting at all, and without having any time to process what that would actually mean all he could get out was a rather miserable sounding ‘Oh.’
‘I mean, that’s what you wanted to know right? I don’t think it’s fair to keep you in the dark.’
He nodded and took a seat on the floor, leaning up against a stacks of boxes. She hovered nervously before taking a seat opposite him in the middle of the floor, fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt.
‘Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’
Jeff tried not to make his tone accusatory but he’d been going out of his mind for the past week and he wouldn’t have put it past Annie dragging it out long enough to drive him mad with her indecision. Of course he immediately felt bad at thinking she was capable of being so malicious, especially about something so serious and life changing.
‘I only decided last night Jeff,’ she replied almost in a whisper, ‘and I haven’t had a chance to speak to you today what with Britta and Shirley keeping me under lock and key and you avoiding me like the bubonic plague.’
‘You were the one who told me to leave you alone,’ he interjected, mildly annoyed that she’d forgotten that little detail, ‘and it wasn’t you I was avoiding anyway, it was the great unwashed out there who have nothing better to do with their time than to point and snigger like they’re back in high school where making my life a misery gets them extra credit.’
She smiled ruefully and mumbled something along the lines of ‘typical’ but Jeff heard it and knew he’d said the wrong thing.
‘Look, I’m sorry, I know it’s been hard for you. That’s kind of why I wanted to talk to you. I’ve acted like a jerk and left you to deal with this yourself...’
‘It’s nothing I didn’t expect but I suppose I did ask you to leave me alone until I figured things out,’ she interrupted him and he immediately shut up, ‘I shouldn’t be angry with you. I think I’m angrier at myself for getting in this situation in the first place.’
Annie sniffed a little and promptly burst into tears. Jeff sat there wondering whether he should give her a hug or keep his distance. He finally made a move to get closer to her when she erupted in near hysterics.
‘I told myself not to let everything get to me, not to let them see me cry but I can’t do it anymore Jeff, it’s not fair. It wasn’t supposed to happen, not to me.’
He’d always been susceptible to Annie’s tears but knowing that he was technically the cause of them, made him feel the lowest form of jerk possible. So he leaned over and pulled her around under his shoulder, into his arms.
‘None of this is your fault Annie. Accidents happen ok and we’re going to deal with this like adults. Don’t give them the satisfaction ok? If you need to talk, shout, cry or be angry then you come find me.’
She was still crying but the hiccups and fits of panic seemed to have subsided enough for her to be able to talk.
‘How are we going to do this Jeff? How are we going to be parents? I didn’t exactly have the healthiest upbringing possible. What if I screw up?’
‘Don’t you think I’ve been asking myself that exact same question for the past few days? I’m beyond terrified. I barely connect with the people I see every day, let alone a kid of my own. What if I end up leaving it at the zoo or something equally traumatic?’
Annie stopped crying and looked at him in confusion.
‘Why would you think that would happen?’
Jeff looked back at her realizing he’d over shared yet again when it came to indulging his childhood subconscious. Instead of explaining, he shook his head and looked away.
‘I don’t know, just seems like something stupid that I’d do,’ he half mumbled.
She didn’t press him on it and instead decided to stand up to straighten her t-shirt over her jeans as he stared at her. Absent-mindedly he thought of how soon it would be before she would start to show and Annie seemed to be able to read his mind.
‘I’ve put on weight already but it’ll be another month or so before it’ll be obvious. Lucky for me.’
She looked positively miserable as he jumped up from the floor to rest his hands on her shoulders before dropping them like she’d given him an electric shock. It was after all how it started on Halloween and why they were in the situation they were in at that point in time.
‘How did you know that I was thinking about...’ Jeff’s mental filter kicked in and stopped from finishing that sentence with your weight and instead the words ‘...when you’ll start to show’ came tumbling out.
‘You had the same look everybody else has had this week when staring at my stomach,’ she replied flatly before looking away.
‘Annie I’m sorry, I’m trying really hard to get my head around this ok? I can’t guarantee that I’m not going to freak out, because, well it’s me for a start, commitment is like my kryptonite whether it’s to women, a kid or even choosing my classes for this year. But...’ he added when it looked like she might start with the tears again, ‘...I’m not going anywhere. I want to be involved as much as you’ll let me be and I promise to try not to screw up too much.’
That earned him a smile and he felt better about ploughing on with opening up to her.
‘I’ll be there with you when you’re walking out in that hallway, facing down those morons. Whenever there’s a doctor’s appointment or have cravings, or whatever it is pregnant women have to deal with, I want you to include me. You’re not on your own Annie, I’m here.’
And once again he took her back into his arms, holding her close until he felt her breath again. He dropped a kiss onto the top of her head as she murmured a soft but resolute ‘Ok,’ in reply.
They stood there for a few minutes, Jeff not wanting to think about the idea of leaving the safety of their room, but he knew they couldn’t stay there forever. They had to face the music, and that meant returning to the study group.
‘Are you sure this is what you want?’ he asked, hoping it didn’t seem like he was trying to backtrack.
She nodded into his chest, ‘I know I don’t seem very happy about it right now but I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t see this through.’
‘Me either. You know I’m not crazy at the thought of being a dad but...’ Jeff paused to detach himself a little from Annie to make sure she could see that he was trying to be as sincere as possible, ‘...if I didn’t get the chance to be one, I know I’d regret it.’
Looking at Annie and just how much she’d changed made Jeff realize that it might not have been ideal, and it might be jumping into the deep end way too quickly but if he and Annie were going to be parents to their kid, maybe he needed to consider the one thing he’d resisted for so long - the idea of being with Annie too.
‘Annie, this is going to be difficult but, maybe if we do this properly, you know...together...’
‘Wait, what?’ she squeaked, moving out of his hold, her back coming to rest up against the store room door.
Jeff tried to pretend there was some kind of miscommunication she’d picked up on, rushing to reply with his own ‘what?!’ whilst mentally kicking himself for even trying to go there - this was why he didn’t do commitment.
‘Jeff, I can barely handle the idea that you’re not running for the hills. We have more important issues to deal with right now without adding being together into the bargain. I know I said I wanted you to stop lying to yourself about any feelings you had for me but I don’t want you just saying that because you suddenly grew a backbone and think it’s the right thing to do!’
That stung and he wasn’t quite sure whether Annie was right or wrong in what he’d suggested. He had no idea why he was feeling that way and instead of just telling her that, he decided to quit while he was ahead.
‘I know, I don’t know why I said that, really, just forget I said a word.’
Annie looked at him doubtfully before giving in to the sight of him squirming on the spot. She smiled and leaned up to kiss his cheek.
‘Ok then, thank you, you know, for getting your act together...finally,’ she winked at Jeff after composing herself and moved over towards the door. He followed her over as he held the door, looking both ways into the corridor for any people lurking nearby to see them exit.
‘The coast’s clear. Ok come on, might as well get this over with. We both have people we need to talk to.’
Annie froze on the spot almost causing Jeff to trip over her and do a somersault down the hall. He looked back to her in frustration and curiosity as the fear came over her features yet again.
‘You mean our...parents?’ she whispered as though by simply saying it loud enough would broadcast some coded message to the ex-Mr and Mrs Edison that their twenty year old daughter was carrying Jeff Winger’s child.
‘Oh hell no,’ he exhaled, reaching back to grab her hand to continue their walk back to the study group, ‘much worse, I mean telling the group that we’re trying to be adult about this and begging Shirley to have pity on my face for the sake of our unborn child.’
Annie was silent for a few moments, so much so that it worried Jeff as he strode along briskly forcing himself to stop and take a look at her to check she was ok. He was met with a brilliant smile and her eyes were sparkling but not from tears (thank God).
‘What? What did I do?’ he asked nervously.
‘Oh, nothing,’ she blushed, but seeing Jeff wasn’t going to budge until he knew why she’d had a sudden change of mood she sighed and rolled her eyes, ‘it’s just, you said our child. I don’t know, that just got me all happy and made me think maybe you don’t have a lump of coal in your chest where your heart’s supposed to be.’
It was Jeff’s turn to roll his eyes as he grabbed her hand again and rounded the corner to where the study room lay before them, ‘I’m going to ignore this chance to tell you not to get used to my emotional outbursts like that and instead ask that you mention just how cute and fatherly I can be when Shirley swings that ridiculously large bag at my head - you just know she’s got her entire syllabus reading list in that bag ready to give her right arm a work out. It’s messed up.’
‘Fine,’ she agreed taking a peek through the windows, her smile brightening again noticing the long lost member of their study group having returned to his rightful place next to Troy at the table, ‘but if Pierce tries to punch you again you’re on your own.’
_____
For anyone who didn't get the Humbert, Humbert reference he's the dude in the book 'Lolita' who was obsessed with young girls
Author: x_avecia_x
Rating: PG-13
Warning: I think this be very PG-13, NC-17 at worst. Talk about sex, and a few 'Oh my god's' but generally on the tamer side compared to the last chapter.
Word Count: 3,510
Disclaimer: I do not own Community - although I would totally marry Dan Harmon then claim half in our (inevitable) divorce settlement - that is unless he conceeds to my end game Jeff/Annie demands. If you recognize any of it, it isn't mine.
Summary: Annie and Jeff deal with the consequences of their attraction.
Author's Note: I feel bad for neglecting. Works kicking my ass right now and I got wrapped up in my new fic too but here's the next chapter :) Still think my characterization is all over the place but I guess in a fic that deals with a situation that will likely NEVER happen on the show it's harder to understand how characters will react.
Anyway, hope you like it :)
______
Tuesday 20th December 2011 (7 weeks, 1 day)
The bruise on Jeff’s face was noticeable for a full seven days after Pierce punched him. The only people who would actually talk to him were Troy, Abed and Annie (if only to tell him to stop following her/texting her/turning up at her apartment uninvited).
So, he told himself over and over again that there was nothing he could do until Annie decided what she herself was going to do. He contemplated telling his mother but he’d rather not get her hopes up of him finally, miraculously, having made her a grandmother only to then receive a lecture about impregnating girls almost half his age - or have to take it all back if Annie decided not to keep the baby.
And that left him sitting in his car, deciding whether or not his law career was really worth going back into Greendale to face the friends who were ignoring him, and other students simply pointing and staring. It was like being back in high school all over again.
As he sat and pondered whether to just drive his car off the nearest bridge the passenger door of his Lexus opened and Pierce climbed inside.
‘I’m really not in the mood today...’
‘And good day to you too Jeffrey - figured you’d be out here hiding like a little girl.’
‘What? I am not hiding...’
Pierce fixed him with a raised eyebrow and an even sterner looking glare.
‘Ok, maybe I am hiding, can you blame me though? Everyone out there is staring and talking about me - and not in a good ‘has he been working out?’ kind of way.’
At this point Pierce slapped him upside the head.
‘Hey! Watch it - I could still press charges you know.’
‘You’re the same, selfish, egotistical poser you’ve always been Jeff. No wonder Annie is seriously contemplating whether she wants to have your child or not.’
‘Just don’t Pierce, this is not a good...’
‘Not a good what Jeff? Not a good day to point out that Annie has a bigger set of balls than you? That she’s been walking around campus actually facing the people who’ve been pointing and talking behind your backs? You’ll happily let her do that on her own? You’re no man Jeff.’
Jeff groaned and tried to let the anger subside, thumping his fist against the steering wheel as he tried to understand why he couldn’t just get out the car and walk away from the aging idiot. As he moved to open the car door he noticed Leonard and his group of cronies looking right through his windscreen, laughing loudly. Oh yeah, that was why he was still in the car.
‘Well what do you expect me to do Pierce? Annie made it quite clear that she doesn’t want me to get involved and...’
‘...and you, as usual, took the path of least resistance and left her to fend for herself. For a lawyer you’re not defending yourself too well.’
Jeff tried to think of a way to argue back but he reluctantly had to admit that Pierce was right (which didn’t help his line of thought that he’d woken up a week ago in some alternate reality - he’d really been hanging around with Abed too much).
‘I don’t know what I can do to make her listen to me. And that’s if I can even get past Shirley and Britta long enough to get within 20 metres of her. They can get surprisingly violent when they want to be - I’m lucky there aren’t any jukeboxes on campus for Shirley to put my head through.’
‘Jeff, try putting yourself in Annie’s shoes - she might not want to talk to you but she needs to know you’re still around, that she can depend on you if she needs to even if she doesn’t want to. She can’t do that if you’re hiding and making her feel like an embarrassment to you. You embarrassed her enough last year after the whole Annie of it all fiasco don’t you think?’
Jeff looked at Pierce and for once saw a look of genuine concern on the older man’s face. It made everything so much harder to hear when Jeff really believed that there wasn’t some ulterior motive for the old man to act like he really cared.
‘She thinks I’m going to try to bury this like I did when she brought up having feelings for her last year?’ he asked, knowing already the answer to his seemingly rhetorical question.
But Pierce felt the need to confirm it anyway.
‘Again, put yourself in Annie’s shoes, how can she expect anything else? But at least you’ve finally admitted you have feelings for her...’
‘...I didn’t admit anything Pierce, and you bringing it up is not helping the situation.’
‘Neither is hiding in your car like a little girl. Still, something good has come out of this for you.’
Jeff knew that asking Pierce to elaborate was going to open a can of worms but he still questioned him anyway.
‘And what’s that then?’
‘Well, clearly you can get mini-Winger up and fully functioning for girls after all so maybe you’re not as gay as I thought you were.’
Jeff groaned and turned on the engine ignition.
‘Get out of my car Pierce before I throw you out - at high speed.’
Pierce laughed and nodded before opening the car door. He leaned his head back down as Jeff turned to face him down with a glare.
‘I’ll see you in study group later. I expect a stripper and a case of Cubans at my welcome back party.’
Jeff turned the glare into a smile and a wave as he watched Pierce wander off back inside the campus. With Pierce deciding to re-join the group he wished the dread he was feeling was related to that, but as Jeff turned the car ignition back off and opened the driver side door he realized the feeling must have been the one you get when facing your fears.
Mumbling ‘I’m gonna regret this,’ Jeff mentally shook himself as he walked toward the library. Instead he ignored the staring masses and declared loudly ‘I regret nothing!’ whilst holding his car keys over his shoulder and clicking the doors shut without looking back.
The moment he turned the corner both Shirley and Britta were standing there outside the library with arms folded and dirty looks on their faces.
‘Well, well, well! Humbert Humbert finally dares to show his face!’
‘May God have mercy on your soul Jeffrey!’
Jeff sighed and stood defiant in the hallway as he noticed through the glass that Annie was in the study room with the rest of the group (still minus Pierce), seemingly blissfully ignorant to the showdown taking place in the hall just yards away from her.
‘Look, I haven’t handled this well at all, and as much as, in a roundabout way, I appreciate you being so protective of Annie, we need to sort this out on our own. I can’t do that if you keep playing bodyguard to stop me from getting anywhere near to talk to her.’
‘And what if she doesn’t want to talk to you?’ retorted Britta, looking a little more than pissed off with her former friend-with-benefits.
‘Well have you asked her if she wants to talk to me?’
Jeff watched as Britta and Shirley looked at one and other.
‘We just assumed after Annie told you to leave her alone that she wouldn’t want to speak to you,’ Shirley clarified.
‘Yeah well, you know what happens when you assume things - you make and ass out of you and...’ he paused, having not thought through picking Shirley up on her choice of words, ‘...and her!’ he yelled, jerking his finger towards Britta.
And as Shirley turned to look at Britta in a gasp of surprise, Jeff capitalized on having distracted both of them for the simple few seconds he needed to get past their barricade and get into the study room.
‘Annie, enough of this bodyguard nonsense and ignoring me. We need to talk.’
She stared up at him from her seat and he noticed the look of fear in her eyes. So, he bent down to her eye level and decided to try a different tactic.
‘Please. I just want to understand what’s going on. In case you can’t tell, this is me begging,’ he all but whispered, noticing the four other pairs of eyes on them now.
‘I don’t think...’
‘Please Annie.’
With that she sighed and nodded her head, before getting up to leave the room. Jeff stood up to follow her out, before turning back to the rest of the group and raised his eyebrows in defiance at the scowls still plastered over the faces of Britta and Shirley.
He followed Annie into the storage room where she found him after the disastrous politics debate last semester. It all seemed so long ago now. And he remembered just what he’d said to her, that he too cared what she thought of him - and right now he cared too much because he couldn’t imagine what kind of thoughts were racing through her...
‘I’m keeping it, before you ask.’
Well that was not what he was expecting at all, and without having any time to process what that would actually mean all he could get out was a rather miserable sounding ‘Oh.’
‘I mean, that’s what you wanted to know right? I don’t think it’s fair to keep you in the dark.’
He nodded and took a seat on the floor, leaning up against a stacks of boxes. She hovered nervously before taking a seat opposite him in the middle of the floor, fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt.
‘Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’
Jeff tried not to make his tone accusatory but he’d been going out of his mind for the past week and he wouldn’t have put it past Annie dragging it out long enough to drive him mad with her indecision. Of course he immediately felt bad at thinking she was capable of being so malicious, especially about something so serious and life changing.
‘I only decided last night Jeff,’ she replied almost in a whisper, ‘and I haven’t had a chance to speak to you today what with Britta and Shirley keeping me under lock and key and you avoiding me like the bubonic plague.’
‘You were the one who told me to leave you alone,’ he interjected, mildly annoyed that she’d forgotten that little detail, ‘and it wasn’t you I was avoiding anyway, it was the great unwashed out there who have nothing better to do with their time than to point and snigger like they’re back in high school where making my life a misery gets them extra credit.’
She smiled ruefully and mumbled something along the lines of ‘typical’ but Jeff heard it and knew he’d said the wrong thing.
‘Look, I’m sorry, I know it’s been hard for you. That’s kind of why I wanted to talk to you. I’ve acted like a jerk and left you to deal with this yourself...’
‘It’s nothing I didn’t expect but I suppose I did ask you to leave me alone until I figured things out,’ she interrupted him and he immediately shut up, ‘I shouldn’t be angry with you. I think I’m angrier at myself for getting in this situation in the first place.’
Annie sniffed a little and promptly burst into tears. Jeff sat there wondering whether he should give her a hug or keep his distance. He finally made a move to get closer to her when she erupted in near hysterics.
‘I told myself not to let everything get to me, not to let them see me cry but I can’t do it anymore Jeff, it’s not fair. It wasn’t supposed to happen, not to me.’
He’d always been susceptible to Annie’s tears but knowing that he was technically the cause of them, made him feel the lowest form of jerk possible. So he leaned over and pulled her around under his shoulder, into his arms.
‘None of this is your fault Annie. Accidents happen ok and we’re going to deal with this like adults. Don’t give them the satisfaction ok? If you need to talk, shout, cry or be angry then you come find me.’
She was still crying but the hiccups and fits of panic seemed to have subsided enough for her to be able to talk.
‘How are we going to do this Jeff? How are we going to be parents? I didn’t exactly have the healthiest upbringing possible. What if I screw up?’
‘Don’t you think I’ve been asking myself that exact same question for the past few days? I’m beyond terrified. I barely connect with the people I see every day, let alone a kid of my own. What if I end up leaving it at the zoo or something equally traumatic?’
Annie stopped crying and looked at him in confusion.
‘Why would you think that would happen?’
Jeff looked back at her realizing he’d over shared yet again when it came to indulging his childhood subconscious. Instead of explaining, he shook his head and looked away.
‘I don’t know, just seems like something stupid that I’d do,’ he half mumbled.
She didn’t press him on it and instead decided to stand up to straighten her t-shirt over her jeans as he stared at her. Absent-mindedly he thought of how soon it would be before she would start to show and Annie seemed to be able to read his mind.
‘I’ve put on weight already but it’ll be another month or so before it’ll be obvious. Lucky for me.’
She looked positively miserable as he jumped up from the floor to rest his hands on her shoulders before dropping them like she’d given him an electric shock. It was after all how it started on Halloween and why they were in the situation they were in at that point in time.
‘How did you know that I was thinking about...’ Jeff’s mental filter kicked in and stopped from finishing that sentence with your weight and instead the words ‘...when you’ll start to show’ came tumbling out.
‘You had the same look everybody else has had this week when staring at my stomach,’ she replied flatly before looking away.
‘Annie I’m sorry, I’m trying really hard to get my head around this ok? I can’t guarantee that I’m not going to freak out, because, well it’s me for a start, commitment is like my kryptonite whether it’s to women, a kid or even choosing my classes for this year. But...’ he added when it looked like she might start with the tears again, ‘...I’m not going anywhere. I want to be involved as much as you’ll let me be and I promise to try not to screw up too much.’
That earned him a smile and he felt better about ploughing on with opening up to her.
‘I’ll be there with you when you’re walking out in that hallway, facing down those morons. Whenever there’s a doctor’s appointment or have cravings, or whatever it is pregnant women have to deal with, I want you to include me. You’re not on your own Annie, I’m here.’
And once again he took her back into his arms, holding her close until he felt her breath again. He dropped a kiss onto the top of her head as she murmured a soft but resolute ‘Ok,’ in reply.
They stood there for a few minutes, Jeff not wanting to think about the idea of leaving the safety of their room, but he knew they couldn’t stay there forever. They had to face the music, and that meant returning to the study group.
‘Are you sure this is what you want?’ he asked, hoping it didn’t seem like he was trying to backtrack.
She nodded into his chest, ‘I know I don’t seem very happy about it right now but I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t see this through.’
‘Me either. You know I’m not crazy at the thought of being a dad but...’ Jeff paused to detach himself a little from Annie to make sure she could see that he was trying to be as sincere as possible, ‘...if I didn’t get the chance to be one, I know I’d regret it.’
Looking at Annie and just how much she’d changed made Jeff realize that it might not have been ideal, and it might be jumping into the deep end way too quickly but if he and Annie were going to be parents to their kid, maybe he needed to consider the one thing he’d resisted for so long - the idea of being with Annie too.
‘Annie, this is going to be difficult but, maybe if we do this properly, you know...together...’
‘Wait, what?’ she squeaked, moving out of his hold, her back coming to rest up against the store room door.
Jeff tried to pretend there was some kind of miscommunication she’d picked up on, rushing to reply with his own ‘what?!’ whilst mentally kicking himself for even trying to go there - this was why he didn’t do commitment.
‘Jeff, I can barely handle the idea that you’re not running for the hills. We have more important issues to deal with right now without adding being together into the bargain. I know I said I wanted you to stop lying to yourself about any feelings you had for me but I don’t want you just saying that because you suddenly grew a backbone and think it’s the right thing to do!’
That stung and he wasn’t quite sure whether Annie was right or wrong in what he’d suggested. He had no idea why he was feeling that way and instead of just telling her that, he decided to quit while he was ahead.
‘I know, I don’t know why I said that, really, just forget I said a word.’
Annie looked at him doubtfully before giving in to the sight of him squirming on the spot. She smiled and leaned up to kiss his cheek.
‘Ok then, thank you, you know, for getting your act together...finally,’ she winked at Jeff after composing herself and moved over towards the door. He followed her over as he held the door, looking both ways into the corridor for any people lurking nearby to see them exit.
‘The coast’s clear. Ok come on, might as well get this over with. We both have people we need to talk to.’
Annie froze on the spot almost causing Jeff to trip over her and do a somersault down the hall. He looked back to her in frustration and curiosity as the fear came over her features yet again.
‘You mean our...parents?’ she whispered as though by simply saying it loud enough would broadcast some coded message to the ex-Mr and Mrs Edison that their twenty year old daughter was carrying Jeff Winger’s child.
‘Oh hell no,’ he exhaled, reaching back to grab her hand to continue their walk back to the study group, ‘much worse, I mean telling the group that we’re trying to be adult about this and begging Shirley to have pity on my face for the sake of our unborn child.’
Annie was silent for a few moments, so much so that it worried Jeff as he strode along briskly forcing himself to stop and take a look at her to check she was ok. He was met with a brilliant smile and her eyes were sparkling but not from tears (thank God).
‘What? What did I do?’ he asked nervously.
‘Oh, nothing,’ she blushed, but seeing Jeff wasn’t going to budge until he knew why she’d had a sudden change of mood she sighed and rolled her eyes, ‘it’s just, you said our child. I don’t know, that just got me all happy and made me think maybe you don’t have a lump of coal in your chest where your heart’s supposed to be.’
It was Jeff’s turn to roll his eyes as he grabbed her hand again and rounded the corner to where the study room lay before them, ‘I’m going to ignore this chance to tell you not to get used to my emotional outbursts like that and instead ask that you mention just how cute and fatherly I can be when Shirley swings that ridiculously large bag at my head - you just know she’s got her entire syllabus reading list in that bag ready to give her right arm a work out. It’s messed up.’
‘Fine,’ she agreed taking a peek through the windows, her smile brightening again noticing the long lost member of their study group having returned to his rightful place next to Troy at the table, ‘but if Pierce tries to punch you again you’re on your own.’
_____
For anyone who didn't get the Humbert, Humbert reference he's the dude in the book 'Lolita' who was obsessed with young girls