Yeah
Here I am doing matlab homework ... LATE matlab homework, mind, even though the teacher said he wouldn't grade late work, I'm kind of hoping he won't remember that it's late and grade it anyway ... guh.
So this week I have definitely been completely awesome at sucking and that's all I'm going to say about that. I am so sick of school and yet I still have finals coming up and it really sucks because I know I'm failing, like, everything, and I know it's my fault becuase I have stupid effing ADD and can't pay attention to something for more than a nanosecond before I have to run off and read livejournal.
But I also can't stand the idea of going on drugs for it because I hate to think that I can't get past this without drugs but seeing as how I am typing this instead of doing matlab like I am supposed to, I really guess I don't have a choice.
Fuck. I don't want to be lazy or stupid or a slacker or whatever people must see me as becuase I suck at school work, I just physically. Can't. Make myself. Do anything. And it's completely driving off the wall because I flat out don't know WHY and it's so FRUSTRATING.
Becuase I guess it's difficult for people to understand, because you know, it doesn't even make sense to me. People must think I'm not trying hard enough. I AM trying, I mean, I went down here to the computer lab so that I could do homework, and yet here I am typing this. And I don't know why. I wish I did. I really really do.
I think I need help. But who knows maybe I am beyond help.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah why do I suck at life
So this week I have definitely been completely awesome at sucking and that's all I'm going to say about that. I am so sick of school and yet I still have finals coming up and it really sucks because I know I'm failing, like, everything, and I know it's my fault becuase I have stupid effing ADD and can't pay attention to something for more than a nanosecond before I have to run off and read livejournal.
But I also can't stand the idea of going on drugs for it because I hate to think that I can't get past this without drugs but seeing as how I am typing this instead of doing matlab like I am supposed to, I really guess I don't have a choice.
Fuck. I don't want to be lazy or stupid or a slacker or whatever people must see me as becuase I suck at school work, I just physically. Can't. Make myself. Do anything. And it's completely driving off the wall because I flat out don't know WHY and it's so FRUSTRATING.
Becuase I guess it's difficult for people to understand, because you know, it doesn't even make sense to me. People must think I'm not trying hard enough. I AM trying, I mean, I went down here to the computer lab so that I could do homework, and yet here I am typing this. And I don't know why. I wish I did. I really really do.
I think I need help. But who knows maybe I am beyond help.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah why do I suck at life