Blarghsalfjdaldnksfh.
What would you do if every time you walked into a room full of people you think are your friends, they suddenly get all silent and stop talking, and then start talking again as soon as you leave? How would you feel when they refuse to tell you what's going on, and everyone seems to know what's happening except for you? Why am I always the one left in the dark? Always always always always. What makes me so damned sucky at life that you can't tell me anything? What makes me different from anyone else?
I'm tired of secrets. I'm tired of people keeping stuff from me. I'm tired of having to keep stuff from other people. I'm tired of not being able to confront people about stuff because doing so would be betraying the trust of those who did decide to tell me a secret, and then the problems blow out of proportion because nobody fucking communicates. I really want to go home. I need a nice long weekend. Unfortunately I have fucking midterms instead. Joy.
I'm sorry if I offended anyone by this post. Probably you're going to tell me that I shouldn't bitch because I'm not going through what you are and I don't know what I'm talking about. Well, guess what, you're right. I DON'T know what I'm talking about, because no one will TELL me. I know you are going through worse shit than I am and I'm sorry but it's kind of difficult for me to be sympathetic if I don't know what the hell is going on. I feel like I've been drifting apart from my friends for awhile now and I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it has come to this but that doesn't make it any easier. This always happens and you'd think I'd be used to being the one left alone in the dark by now but the truth is I'm not. This time I actually thought that I might have finally found friends I could trust, and who could trust me. And I want to be a good friend and help you all through this whatever "this" is but I can't do a thing if I don't know what's going on. You all claim it has nothing to do with me but the way you all talk when I'm not around I really am beginning to wonder.
I'm tired of secrets. I'm tired of people keeping stuff from me. I'm tired of having to keep stuff from other people. I'm tired of not being able to confront people about stuff because doing so would be betraying the trust of those who did decide to tell me a secret, and then the problems blow out of proportion because nobody fucking communicates. I really want to go home. I need a nice long weekend. Unfortunately I have fucking midterms instead. Joy.
I'm sorry if I offended anyone by this post. Probably you're going to tell me that I shouldn't bitch because I'm not going through what you are and I don't know what I'm talking about. Well, guess what, you're right. I DON'T know what I'm talking about, because no one will TELL me. I know you are going through worse shit than I am and I'm sorry but it's kind of difficult for me to be sympathetic if I don't know what the hell is going on. I feel like I've been drifting apart from my friends for awhile now and I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it has come to this but that doesn't make it any easier. This always happens and you'd think I'd be used to being the one left alone in the dark by now but the truth is I'm not. This time I actually thought that I might have finally found friends I could trust, and who could trust me. And I want to be a good friend and help you all through this whatever "this" is but I can't do a thing if I don't know what's going on. You all claim it has nothing to do with me but the way you all talk when I'm not around I really am beginning to wonder.