hichi azam namoonde joz ye saye
it's past 5 in the morning and I cannot sleep...You would think after my first day at work I would be tired, but I guess not. So much is on my mind right now. So many thoughts are swirling around. I haven't updated livejournal in months and so much has happened in the past few months. Nothing lifechanging though. First thought, how can i get off work on halloween night? They have me scheduled 6-11pm...boo. I had my halloween costume all planned out too! I'm gonna be a dirty cop, and I have allll the right accessories. It's too good to not lie to get off halloween for! I'll try to figure something out. I just started reading the 2nd book in the Twilight series. Yes, I was caught up in the Twilight mayhem as well! School has been so hectic. I need to start adjusting to having class, work, and lots of ISU responsibilities. I don't seem to have a logical flow to my thoughts, maybe because it is so late in the night, or rather early in the morning. Anywho....
I wonder how strong the human heart is. I mean we open it up, and let ourselves love, then we shut it up again and try to recuperate, hoping we'll be able to open it up again. What are the limitations? Is it all mental? Sometimes I am a fool for thinking that the heart is an organ that can be bended, stretched, and twisted in any which way and still miraculously survive and thrive. I have realized that I have placed myself in such situations that have made me more vulnerable than I would ever want to be towards someone breaking my heart... I caused my own despair and agony. I pity myself for having been so weak. They say love is blind... I was blinded as well.
Sometimes I want to freeze time. I want to freeze the good moments and capture them forever. As time goes by and the clock ticks away, everything fades away into a distant storehouse in my memory. I have an urge to relive the moments, recall the details and replay them over and over again in my head. What am i afraid of losing? I'I think I'm more concerned to keep the memories alive, because they have felt so unreal, that I don't want to view them as a distant dream. Call me mental, but I'll sit and recall the specific days' events as far as I can trace back, and drive myself crazy trying to get it all straight. Why does it even matter? It's over in the end.
....I still miss you.
I wonder how strong the human heart is. I mean we open it up, and let ourselves love, then we shut it up again and try to recuperate, hoping we'll be able to open it up again. What are the limitations? Is it all mental? Sometimes I am a fool for thinking that the heart is an organ that can be bended, stretched, and twisted in any which way and still miraculously survive and thrive. I have realized that I have placed myself in such situations that have made me more vulnerable than I would ever want to be towards someone breaking my heart... I caused my own despair and agony. I pity myself for having been so weak. They say love is blind... I was blinded as well.
Sometimes I want to freeze time. I want to freeze the good moments and capture them forever. As time goes by and the clock ticks away, everything fades away into a distant storehouse in my memory. I have an urge to relive the moments, recall the details and replay them over and over again in my head. What am i afraid of losing? I'I think I'm more concerned to keep the memories alive, because they have felt so unreal, that I don't want to view them as a distant dream. Call me mental, but I'll sit and recall the specific days' events as far as I can trace back, and drive myself crazy trying to get it all straight. Why does it even matter? It's over in the end.
....I still miss you.