okay
okay, i havnt written in here in a long time. its really late but i cant sleep. i need sleeping pill thinger cause im not tired and i have a headache. logan and i are so fucked up. i like, love him. he loves me. then he doesnt love me. its so messed up. i dont know anything anymore. people are calling me a bitchy bitch and its really upsetting me. chelseas mad at allison. im fine with both. i kinda ish cut somewhere today. not becuase i want attention or some sort just cause i was all depressed thinking about logan and everything and my hand kind of took over. he found out. and he got pissed. almost told my mother. now really, how would that help me? and he says he wants to isolate himself from me because hes afriad if he says/does something mean i will try and kill myself. which i wont. he just wont listen to anyone but himself. im so pissed/depressed. its a 2 hour delay tomarrow. and we didnt have school today. the only thing i accomplished was taking a shower. logan hasnt asked ali out yet. i think. i found out a long time ago when she faked being his gf he told her to so i would dump him. which was really fucking gay of him. i just cant help it. whatever he does to me, i still love him. its like grr! you know? i want to go to chelseas friday cause maybe we can walk over to woodlands and meet logan. if hes still single then. and have some fun. *wink* but i dont know. i keep have these erotic fantises of him and its really annoying and i cant sleep yet im so totally tired. he said he loved calling me jess today *blushes* he also said he doesnt love me cause i cut. what am i soposed to do? go back in time or some shit? no. i cant erase what i did. but i have to cover it up big time. cause if someone sees im really screwed. it was really hard hiding it from my parents today. i cant/will NOT ever do it agian. no one reads this anymore. so i can say what i want. mwhahah. no one better read it. rawr. anyway. gtg try and get some sleep. he'll be in all my dreams. he always is. bye.