Losing control - Paolo Maldini / Gianluigi Buffon
Title: Losing control
Pairing: Paolo Maldini / Gianluigi Buffon
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: F-i-c-t-i-o-n
A/N: The Milan - Juventus game, which ended 1-1, caused me to write this. When I saw Paolo Maldini like I had never seen him before, overreacting a little by taking Giorgio Chiellini by the scruff of his neck, I knew I had to write this, especially because It was Gianluigi who hugged Paolo so tight that he could not break free anymore. Well, Paolo, no one said retiring is easy for you ♥
Feedback: Yes please!
Losing control
Paolo ignored it that everyone was talking to him; that everyone asked him what the fuck had been on his mind when he had taken Chiellini by the scruff of his neck and yes, Paolo had lost control for a moment, which he normally wouldn’t do, but hell, no one could understand him. Paolo almost fled from the changing room after showering and changing clothes, because he just didn’t want to talk about it.
And of course he felt his team mates’ looks on his back when he left; after all he had kind of disappointed them by not being their usual captain; for once he had been the one who had lost control and they weren’t used to that. If Paolo was honest with himself he wasn’t used to that, either. It almost scared him. If Gianluigi hadn’t pulled him away and hugged him so tight that he couldn’t move away, even if he had tried to break free, Paolo didn’t know what could have happened. That was… scary. He suddenly felt unsure about everything. Did he really know himself well enough? Had he known that only the thought of retiring could do this to him; turn him into a completely different person on the pitch? Turn him into someone who…
Paolo hurried back to the hotel, always checking that there were no journalists around, because no, he did not want to talk about the game, did not want to talk about what had happened and about what hadn’t. Paolo entered his hotel room, locking the door behind him and throwing his bag into the corner. He lay down on the bed and… actually started crying. He had to admit to himself that he couldn’t handle that whole “retiring”-thing very well. Not at all, to be honest. He felt bad for what had happened, scared even, and now he just wanted to be alone.
Paolo heard that someone opened the door to his hotel room and only one had the keycard beside him: Gianluigi. The door closed again and then Paolo felt that Gigi was sitting down on the bed behind him. Paolo felt that Gigi lay down, too, and then he felt Gigi’s arm on his hip.
“What’s wrong with you, Paolo? Why did you do that? Why?” Gigi was upset, Paolo could hear it in his lover’s voice.
“I… I don’t know, fucking hell!” Paolo almost shouted back. He needed his lover now, but he didn’t need him to talk about it.
“Why does nobody understand me? I will fucking retire in a few weeks and I just can’t stand the thought; I mean, I wouldn’t have thought that I would ever… do that! I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t pulled me away and held me back, I really don’t! I just… I can’t…,” Paolo trailed off and sobbed softly. Gigi had known Paolo for years now, but he had never seen him like that before. It seemed like the Milan captain had reached a point where he couldn’t hide his feelings anymore and where he couldn’t keep up the perfect surface.
Gigi hugged his lover, gently, and Paolo leaned in against him, hiding his face against his lover’s chest. For once he didn’t feel like the legend; the great captain of Milan. For once he just felt like someone who needed protection.
“Gigi, are you… are you scared or disappointed by what you saw?” Paolo asked, carefully. Gigi stroked over his lover’s back.
“No, Paolo, I am not. I would never be. I can totally understand you, I think. Retiring isn’t… that easy. You know I am there for you, and I will protect you, always, like I did today,” Gigi admitted, and he squeezed Paolo, gently.
“Thank you for that,” Paolo replied, and Gigi just smiled, kissing his lover, gently.
“I love you, Paolo. Now go to sleep,” the Juventus keeper advised. Paolo nodded, cuddling up against Gigi and closing his eyes. Now he felt a lot calmer.
Pairing: Paolo Maldini / Gianluigi Buffon
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: F-i-c-t-i-o-n
A/N: The Milan - Juventus game, which ended 1-1, caused me to write this. When I saw Paolo Maldini like I had never seen him before, overreacting a little by taking Giorgio Chiellini by the scruff of his neck, I knew I had to write this, especially because It was Gianluigi who hugged Paolo so tight that he could not break free anymore. Well, Paolo, no one said retiring is easy for you ♥
Feedback: Yes please!
Losing control
Paolo ignored it that everyone was talking to him; that everyone asked him what the fuck had been on his mind when he had taken Chiellini by the scruff of his neck and yes, Paolo had lost control for a moment, which he normally wouldn’t do, but hell, no one could understand him. Paolo almost fled from the changing room after showering and changing clothes, because he just didn’t want to talk about it.
And of course he felt his team mates’ looks on his back when he left; after all he had kind of disappointed them by not being their usual captain; for once he had been the one who had lost control and they weren’t used to that. If Paolo was honest with himself he wasn’t used to that, either. It almost scared him. If Gianluigi hadn’t pulled him away and hugged him so tight that he couldn’t move away, even if he had tried to break free, Paolo didn’t know what could have happened. That was… scary. He suddenly felt unsure about everything. Did he really know himself well enough? Had he known that only the thought of retiring could do this to him; turn him into a completely different person on the pitch? Turn him into someone who…
Paolo hurried back to the hotel, always checking that there were no journalists around, because no, he did not want to talk about the game, did not want to talk about what had happened and about what hadn’t. Paolo entered his hotel room, locking the door behind him and throwing his bag into the corner. He lay down on the bed and… actually started crying. He had to admit to himself that he couldn’t handle that whole “retiring”-thing very well. Not at all, to be honest. He felt bad for what had happened, scared even, and now he just wanted to be alone.
Paolo heard that someone opened the door to his hotel room and only one had the keycard beside him: Gianluigi. The door closed again and then Paolo felt that Gigi was sitting down on the bed behind him. Paolo felt that Gigi lay down, too, and then he felt Gigi’s arm on his hip.
“What’s wrong with you, Paolo? Why did you do that? Why?” Gigi was upset, Paolo could hear it in his lover’s voice.
“I… I don’t know, fucking hell!” Paolo almost shouted back. He needed his lover now, but he didn’t need him to talk about it.
“Why does nobody understand me? I will fucking retire in a few weeks and I just can’t stand the thought; I mean, I wouldn’t have thought that I would ever… do that! I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t pulled me away and held me back, I really don’t! I just… I can’t…,” Paolo trailed off and sobbed softly. Gigi had known Paolo for years now, but he had never seen him like that before. It seemed like the Milan captain had reached a point where he couldn’t hide his feelings anymore and where he couldn’t keep up the perfect surface.
Gigi hugged his lover, gently, and Paolo leaned in against him, hiding his face against his lover’s chest. For once he didn’t feel like the legend; the great captain of Milan. For once he just felt like someone who needed protection.
“Gigi, are you… are you scared or disappointed by what you saw?” Paolo asked, carefully. Gigi stroked over his lover’s back.
“No, Paolo, I am not. I would never be. I can totally understand you, I think. Retiring isn’t… that easy. You know I am there for you, and I will protect you, always, like I did today,” Gigi admitted, and he squeezed Paolo, gently.
“Thank you for that,” Paolo replied, and Gigi just smiled, kissing his lover, gently.
“I love you, Paolo. Now go to sleep,” the Juventus keeper advised. Paolo nodded, cuddling up against Gigi and closing his eyes. Now he felt a lot calmer.