(no subject)

[x_absynthe_x]

blah blah blah blah

Okay, disclaimers and stuff. I don't own Ryan or Bam, 'cuz their real people and it'd be illegal, nor do I own the band Placebo, or any of the random food and alcohol brands I've mentioned. At this point, I barely own me. Oh, and please don't sue me. I'm making no profit off of this. I don't even have a bank account, so you'd really be wasting your time in the end.

"......no, no no no no fucking no! Not again! Shit!" Bam cursed, kicking the rail as if it was somehow it's fault.

Taking a step back, Bam assesed the situation. This was the second board he'd cracked completely down the middle trying that trick. And he'd only brought two.

"Fuck. I really liked that one, too." He sighed, gathering what was left of the boards and making his way back to the Hummer.

He'd just have to drive into town and get a replacement. There wasn't a trick out there that could best Bam. He'd even done that fucking loop, so there was no way in hell he was gonna let some simple rail trick get the better of him. Okay, two 180's mid grind wasn't exactly simple. But that wasn't the point. He'd get this if it killed him.
.......Unless, of course, the board shop was closed.

"Son of a bitch. It is Sunday, isn't it. Just had to be Sunday." Bam shook his head and got back in the car a second time. Shit, he worked for Element. He had to have a spare of some type at home.

He pulled into the drive way and turned the engine off. Bran was sitting near the mail box playing with some action figures. Laughing to himself, Bam shook his head and got out of the car. Some days, it was incredably hard to believe they were all adults now.

"Bran, aren't you, like, 26?" Bam asked.

"Yea, why?" He replied, looking up at Bam like that was a really dumb question.

"Nevermind. Hey, we have spare skateboards around here right?"

"Dude, I don't know, I'm busy." Bran said as he made SnakeEyes swanton bomb M. Bison.

Bam walked up the steps and into the house in search of someone more helpful. And, hopefuly, a little less 10 years old. Shuting the door behind him and tossing his jacket onto a nearby chair, he made his way to the living room. Ryan was sitting on the couch, eating a taco and watching cartoons. So much for finding a grown-up. God, even half awake and with his hair all fucked Ryan was gorgeous. He wished he could just cuddle up next to him on the couch and bitch about that trick he couldn't land. 'Stop it, fuck-tard. He's straight and your best friend.' Bam did his best to shake the incredably familiar thoughts off. Well, he figured, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Bam flopped onto the couch and stole Ryan's taco.

"Hey! Fuckin' taco theif." Ryan grumbled.

"Nice to see you too, grumpy." Bam replied.

"Well, it was nice to see you 'til you stole my damn taco. So what's been up?"

"Eh, the usual. Fallin on my ass, breaking things. Do you know if there are any extra skateboards around here?"

"Doesn't it kinda scare you that I know your house better than you do?"

Bam laughed. "Not really. Someone has to."

"Um, there were three, but we used two last week when we duck-taped them to Raab's feet and made him drop into the half-pipe drunk. Pretty sure those are broken. There should be another one up there, but I think the barings are shot."

"Fuck. It's like somthing doesn't want me to skate today or some shit." Bam said, shooting Ryan a glare when he took his taco back.

"Why don't you go get a new one?" Ryan asked.

"Tried that. It's fuckin Sunday. Everything's closed."

"What happened to the two you had with you this morning?"

Bam felt a warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach at the thought that Ryan paid so much attention to him. Then he started having warm fuzzy feelings in places more southern in location and decided these were not feelings he should be having so close to the un-gay object of his unrequited affections.

"Broke 'em. Right across the middle. I can probly salvage the trucks, but that's about it."

"I got one in my closet. Never been used. You can have it."

"Huh. Ryan Dunn owns a skateboard. Might I ask why?"

"You know, that's a good fucking question." Ryan replied laughing and getting up to go to his room.

Bam sat on Dunn's bed, apreciating the view of his friend, bent over and rummaging through a closet.

"What the hell do you keep in there?" Bam asked, watching a myriad of crap fly this way and that.

"Most of it's just dumb shit I can't bring myself to part with. Wow. Bam, you remember this?" Ryan asked, pulling out an old blue cast with signatures all over it.

"Holy shit, Ry, I can't believe you still have that!" Bam said, staring at the cast with disbelief.

Back in highschool, Bam had this penchant for jumping out of trees. For no particular reason, and to no particular effect, just the higher the better. Okay, mabey it had some effect. He wasn't proud of it, but he liked how it felt when Ry worried about him. He always felt like shit afterwards, making him worry like that, but Bam guessed it was just his fucked up little way of keeping Dunn's attention. Anyway, there was this one tree near their third period science class, had to be at least two stories high, that had braches you could reach from the window. It was about a week before school let out for the summer, and Bam hadn't been this bored since Ry went away that one winter to see his grandparents in Florida. After about an hour of listening to their teacher drone on and on about the chemical make-up of plastic or some shit, Bam snapped. He crept to the window got onto the tree unnoticed. As soon as Ryan realized he was gone, he got up and booked it down stairs, no hall pass or anything. He knew Bam well enough to figure out what was gonna happen. By the time Bam got a clear view of somewhere to land, Ryan was right under the tree, preparing to drag him to the nurse's office. Bam dove off, but missjudged by a couple of inches at smacked his head on one of the other limbs. He was unconsious and falling like a rock. Ryan noticed in enough time though and caught him, Bam landing with all his weight on Dunn's arm. Or, at least that what some of the other kids told him when he came to. What they didn't tell him, through many threats and much coearsing, was how bad Ryan freaked out over the blood coming out of his head and the fact that he was barely breathing. Dunn would figured he'd probly take that to the grave with him though.

"I can't toss that, it was my first broken bone. Besides, everyone signed it." Ryan replied, shaking himself out of the relived moment as well.

"Raab drew a dick on it." Bam said laughing at the memory.

"Here. I found it," Ryan said handing Bam a skateboard that did indeed look as though it'd never been used. "It's a little dusty, but other than that it should be okay."

"Cool. Wanna come with me? Watch me fall for a while?"

Ryan laughed quietly."Don't I always?"

"Fuck!" Bam yelled, messing the trick up for what had to be the 300th time that day.

"Dude, it's getting dark." Dunn yelled from his spot on the bench where he'd patiently watched Bam attempt the same trick for the last 5 hours. If Bam was anything, he was fucking determined.

Ryan got up and crossed the skatepark, causiously putting his hand on Bam's shoulder. He could feel the anger radiating off of him in waves.

"Bam, there's always tomarrow. I'll come back with you if you want. Just take a break for a while. We could go get drunk or somthing." Ryan suggested calmly, trying to lure Bam out of his pissed off temperment.

If it had been anyone else, Bam wouldn't have listened, but alcohol was starting to sound like a good idea. Well, that and Ryan could talk him into going to a ballet in a chicken suit.

Bam sighed and relented.

Back in the car, Bam started to feel a little better. "Why don't we just go pick somthing up and go home. I don't feel like dealing with people I don't know right now."

"Uh, sure man. Not a problem."

Bam ran out to the liquor store while Ryan stayed in the car. He knew it probly wasn't the best idea, but he needed the air. Both Ryan and Bam knew about Bam's tendancy to anger shop. By the time Bam got up to the register, he had a cart full of shit he did'nt need. Doritos, Pixie Stix, three cans of Cheese Wiz, which he hated, but would probly use in a prank at some point, 8 cherry Push Pops, 4 pints of mint chip ice cream and two of the biggest bottles of Jager the place sold.

Ignoring the odd look on the cashiers face, Bam put his mostly frivoulus items on the counter.

"Lemme get a pack of Newports." He asked the cashier, figuring if he were gonna blow this much money, he might as well think of Ryan.

"I didn't know you smoked." Said a voice from behind him that made his blood run cold. He turned around slowly, confirming his suspicions.

"Hi Jenn." He replied, doing his best not to bolt.

"Hey. How've you been?" She said, sporting a glare like he hadn't seen in a while.

"Uh, fine, but I got the car running outside, so I gotta go." Bam said, shoving all his bags into the shopping kart and attempting to cut the conversation short.

"Are the smokes for your new girlfriend?" Jenn asked him, shooting him a look of pure poison.

"New girlfrien- Jenn, what the fuck are you talking about?" Bam questioned, truely confused. Then it started to dawn on him.

"You know, your someone else?" Jenn looked like she was gonna punch him. Bam guessed he couldn't really blame her.

He'd broken up with her last month, really suddenly and really vaguely. Honestly, it was for her own good. He couldn't keep pretending he loved her, eventualy it would've caught up with him and bit them both in the ass. He'd told her he was in love with someone else. She'd slapped him. That was pretty much the sum of things. He couldn't have told her the truth, that would've hurt more. Just because he didn't love her didn't mean he wanted to hurt her anymore than he had to, and he was pretty sure "Jenn, I've been using you all these years to try and make myself not love Ryan." would've hurt more than her thinking he just moved on. She wouldn't understand, and it would be wrong of him to expect her to. He hated to lose a friend like this, but it didn't seem there was much he could do. Mabey they could be friends again after a while, but at the moment she really looked like she wanted to kill him. Just didn't seem the right time for the 'let's be friends' talk.

"Look, Jenn, I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna go now. This isn't gonna help anything." Bam said pushing his kart out to the car.

Tossing all the bags in the back, Bam got back in the car and sighed.

"You know, I saw someone that looked a lot like Jenn go in there. Was it her?" Ryan asked, trying to pretend he really wanted to know.

"Yup." Bam answered.

Ryan noticed the look on his face was relieved, as apposed to the expected one of depression. He wasn't sure what to make of it, but decided not to push it. If Bam wanted to talk about it, he would. Ryan turned the engine over and drove them back to the house.

Bam set four shot glasses down on the coffee table and sat on the couch next to Ryan.

"Let's play a drinking game."

"Like what?" Ryan asked.

"Like, I don't know, How about we get wasted and play hide and seek?" Bam suggested.

"Fuck no. Last time we did that, you hid in a closet and fell asleep. I had to search the house all night drunk. You didn't even show up again 'til noon the next day."

"Alright, how about this. I ask you a question about somthing. If you answer, it's shot optional. If you don't want to, you have to take two shots."

"Bam, that's just talking and getting drunk." Ryan replied, somewhat amused.

"Well, you haven't come up with anything better. You in or out?" Bam asked.

"Sure, why not." Ryan answered, still smiling slightly at the suggestion.

"So," Bam smirked, leaning back into the couch."Why'd you agree to the toy car stunt?"

Ryan sighed. "Somehow, I knew that was coming. Well, everyone else bitched out, and I didn't want it to get left out of the movie."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Wow. That was a really boring answer. You suck, Random."

Ryan laughed and took a shot anyway.

"Okay. My turn. What, exactly, is your fasination with Placebo?"

Bam got quiet for a minute, shot Ryan a weird look and picked up two shot glasses, downing one after the other.

"Whoa. What was that? Did I strike a nerve?" Ryan asked, attepmting to decypher the look Bam had thrown.

"My turn," Bam said louder than he needed to and refilled the shot glasses. "Who was your worst lay ever?"

"Heather." Ryan said before taking another shot.

"Heather skanky Haggard Heather?" Bam asked, look of frightened confusion on his face.

"No, no. God no. Heather highschool Heather."

"Oh. Well, that's no shock. She was fuckin hairier than you. And she was 16. I'm sorry, dude, but I'm surprised you didn't get rugburn." Bam said, wrinkeling his nose in distaste.

"Who says I did'nt?" Dunn replied, mirroring Bams expression.

"Fuckin Ew, Random." Bam said laughing.

"Hey, you asked. Alright. My turn." Ryan said, taking a shot and filling all the glasses back up.

Ryan took a deep breath. He honestly didn't have anything else to ask at the moment.

"What did Jenn say to you earlier?"

'You know what, fuck it. I'm exausted to death with all this lying shit. The worst he could do is get really pissed. He might even get over it eventualy.'

Bam got quiet and pale.

"Hey, I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want. I'ts not even my buisness, really, I jus-"

"Ryan, have you ever been attracted to a guy?"Bam asked, looking at a rip in his jeans.

Ryan looked around kind of nervously. "Here and there."

Bam looked worse off. He was turning slightly green and getting way more fidgety than normal.

"Why? Bam, are you okay?" Dunn asked. Bam kinda looked like he was gonna puke.

He turned and looked at Dunn dead in the face with big scared eyes.

"Jenn asked me if I had a new girlfriend."

"Why would she think that?" Ryan asked. It felt like there was somthing obvious he was missing, but he was too drunk to point out what.

"Because I told her I was in love with someone else." Bam replied, his heart beating so fast Dunn could see his pulse in his neck.

It took him a second to register those words and tie them to Bam's behavior, but once he did, his eyes lit up like a kid's on Christmas who'd just gotten everything he'd ever wanted, because, actualy, he just had.

He slid his hand across the side of Bam's face, watching his expression shift from one of sadness and terror to one of expectation and a little fear. Ryan brushed his lips lightly against Bam's with just enough pressure to let Bam know what he was doing. Ryan slid his tongue against Bam's lower lip gentely. God, he tasted good. He let it linger for a moment, trying to imprint the taste in his brain. His lips were soft, warm and pliant against his. Bam opened his lips slightly and let Dunn's tongue in, massaging it with his own. After a little while, he pulled away grinning like a maniac, resting his head against Ryan's.

"What's wrong?" Ryan asked, concern in his voice.

"Nothing. Except mabey there's somthing you should know." Bam said, smile in place.

For a second, Ryan thought cameras were going to come out of nowhere and Bam was gonna tell him it was all a prank.

"Like what?" He asked, somewhat worried.

"Dude. I've never gotten hard from just kissing like that."

Ryan's mouth dropped open a little. He wasn't sure how to respond to that. I'm sorry? Thank you? Although unsure of what words to fill the moment with, he was becoming aware of the fact that he was in much the same state.

"Well, are you gonna sit there stuned all night, or are you gonna help me fix the situation?" Bam asked, toying with a piece of Dunn's hair.

Ryan shot him a mischevious glance that rivaled Bam's own. "Thing is, I'm not sure." Ryan said, a grin of his own creeping across his features.

"I mean, what do I get out of it?"

Bam smacked him with a throw pillow and straddled him, successfully pinning him to the couch.

"This coming from a guy who openly admitted to wanting to hump me in front of the whole Jackass crew?"

"Okay. Point taken." Dunn said, fisting Bam's shirt and pulling him down for another kiss.

Dunn held onto Bam's hips and scooted him over so their cocks touched and was like nothing Bam had ever experienced. He'd always pictured what it'd be like to be with Dunn, but he never thought he'd get off on the being with another guy part of it so much. Dunn's hands were bigger than Jenn's, about the same size as his. There was somthing inexplicable about Dunn and everything he was that made it a million times more exciting than any girl he'd ever been with. Well, yea, no matter how much they joked about it, he'd always known Dunn was a guy in pretty much every sence of the word, but he hadn't expected that to turn him on to this extent. As Bam leaned up and ground down against him, he figured there was no sence in looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Ryan looked up at him with lust hazy eyes. "What you're doing to me has to be criminal." He said, doing his best to keep control of himself.

"I think it is in some states." Bam replied before biting his lip, his humor ever present.

Bam leaned down and began an assult on Ryan's neck, licking and nipping his way down to the coller of Dunn's shirt.

"Dude, we have to get these off you." Bam said ridding Dunn of his shirt and working at his fly.

Returning his attention to his earlier ministrations, Bam kissed his way down to one of Ryan's nipples, licking it and then biting it lightly. He felt the moans he was causing vibrate from Dunn's chest as he turned his attentions to the other, giving it the same treatment as the first. He didn't think he could ever get tired of those noises. He bit his way down Ryan's stomach, leaving little red marks in his path. Bam couldn't help leaving signs of his presence, somthing posessive in him wouldn't let him not mark Ryan in some way. Spoiled brat or just the jelous type, Bam couldn't help himself. He thought about those times when Glomb or Gee were all touchy feely with Dunn and how he'd had to resist the urge to slug them. He'd do his best to talk Ryan into waring a shirt that showed his neck some, just in case.

Catching his breath some, Ryan noticed somthing inherantly wrong with this picture.

"Hey, you still have all your clothes on." He complained.

"Yea, and?" Bam said, smiling up at him. "I'm kinda busy here."

Ryan laughed and shook his head. "That's not fair, I'm nearly butt naked in the middle of your living room, and you still have your shoes on. What, you planning on running away?"

"No." Bam relented. He stood up and made quick work of his shirt.

Dunn just sat in awe. Sure, he'd seen Bam shirtless before, but he'd never been allowed to just stare. He'd be willing to wager Bam didn't even know how beautiful he was right then. If given the chance, he was gonna change that. Bam would never have any doubts about how wonderful he was from now on. He'd make sure of it.

Bam stripped down to his boxers and got back on top of Ryan.

"It was cold without you down here."

"Well that's what happens when you make me move." Bam said, doing his best to look annoyed, but blushing slightly.

Bam picked up where he left off, licking just beside the small line of hair receding beneath the stretchy band of Ryan's boxers. He pulled them down to Ryan's knees and licked the tip of his erection. He gave the base a few experimental licks before closing his lips around the head.

Ryan. could. not. breath. He was pretty sure he'd pass out if he didn't catch his breath soon. Bam's mouth was wet and smooth and perfect and completely surrounding him. He clenched his hands in the sheets, trying not to buck his hips upward and choke Bam. He felt like he was dying, but in the best way possible. Dunn slid his fingers into Bam's hair and did his best to keep the noise down, but it was'nt working very well. Bam took as much of Dunn as he could into his throat and held him there for a second, getting used to the feeling. He hated admitting it, but this was kinda fun. He was making Ryan squirm and make all these cool porny noises, and fun or not, he'd have done it for that alone. He pulled back up and pushed back down again, doing his best to make Dunn make more of those really hot noises.

"Fuck, Bam-I can't-I'm gonna..." He cried, attempting to warn Bam.

Bam pulled off and made his way back up so he was eye-level with Ryan, giving him a gentle kiss behind his ear before kissing him deeply, teasing Dunn's upper lip with his tongue.

"You can fuck me if you want." Ryan whispered into Bam's mouth.

Dunn felt Bam's dick twitch against his hip at merely mentioning it. He couldn't put into words how cool that felt.

"You sure?" Bam said, giving Dunn an out.

"Yea, just be kinda careful. Oh, you're gonna want some, uh, moisture." Ryan replied.

Bam just kind of sat there frozen, so Dunn picked up his hand and put two of Bam's fingers in his mouth, mimmicing the actions earlier performed on him. Bam had an almost pained expression as he used his free hand to pull Ryan's boxers off the rest of the way. He circled Dunn's entrance with his spit slicked fingers and slowly pushed two of them in, moving them in and out slightly. As soon as Dunn had adjusted some, he added a third. The look on his face was breathtaking. No one had ever looked at him with that much need and trust before. He pulled his fingers out and licked his palm, mixed it with his precum, and got as lubed as he could. He took in Dunn's face as he hooked his knees onto his shoulders and positioned himself. He looked so fucking perfect like that, a slight sheen of sweat on his body, his hair kinda messed up. Bam figured he'd better do something before he got all girly and cried, so he scooted forward and lined himself up with Ryan's opening.

Bam leaned in to kiss him and pushed in as slowly as he could manage. Ryan was so tight it almost hurt and he was sweating with the effort of staying still. Once he could see again, he looked down at Dunn. He looked like he was in a little pain, but he hadn't punched Bam yet, so there was some good news.

"You okay?" Bam asked, bringing the hand that wasn't supporting him up to touch the side of Dunn's face. "Am I hurting you? We don't have to do this. I can stop if you want."

"It's alright, really, just, that fucking toy car was damn small in comparison."

Bam laughed and gave him a minute to get used to it. When Ryan started thrusting his hips upwards, he took it as a signal to move. He moved slow at first, just to be careful, rocking his hips in slow circles for what felt like forever. It was becoming too much for the both of them.

"Ah-fuck. Bam, just move, I'm not gonna break."

At that, he picked up his pace, moving in and out of Ryan faster. Ryan saw stars everytime Bam's cock brushed against his prostate, and it was getting harder and harder to hold back his moans. He bit down on Bam's shoulder, moving his hands to Bam's hips, pushing him in harder. Bam let a scream out, certin he woke someone up but was way to distracted to care.

"Fuck, Ry. I'm not gonna last too much longer."

"It's okay. Me niether." Ryan replied, gasping as Bam slammed against his spot again.

Bam slid his hand between their bodies and wrapped it around Dunn's cock, stroking it in rhythm with his thrusting. Bam did his best to record the look on Dunn's face, sweaty, breathless and chanting Bam's name over and over. It was the hotest thing he'd ever seen. He leaned in and kissed Ryan with as love and passion as he could pour into it and let go, the world blacking out for a moment. Dunn followed soon after, feeling himself filled with Bam's warm cum.

After about five minutes of panting and recovery, Bam laid soft kisses across Dunn's face and slid out of him, laying his head on his chest.

"Hey Random."

"Yea?"

"We just fucked all over my couch."

Ryan laughed. Bam would never change. Somthing in him smiled at that thought. "Yes. Yes we did."

"Would you toss me that blanket?"

"Sure." Ryan tucked the blanket that was laying over the back of the couch around both of them.

Bam was silent for a few minutes, just enjoying the feeling of Ryan playing with his hair.

"So, what happens tomarrow?" Bam asked, moving his face so he could look at Dunn's eyes.

A smirk crept into them. "Well, first I'll probly get dressed, wander into the bathroom, take a piss more then likely..."

Bam rolled his eyes."You know what I mean, asshole."

"Whatever you want happens."

"So, you don't want to keep it a secret?"

"Bam, I'd gladly get up right now and go shout it from roof-tops if it weren't cold and you were okay with it."

"Just checkin'." Bam said. He cuddled back into Ryan's chest.

"What about you?" Dunn asked.

"Nah. I've never felt the need to explain myself before, why start now? Besides, if anyone has a problem with it, they can move out."

Ryan was speechless. It made him feel all squishy to know Bam cared that much about him. Yea, he had said he loved him, but he didn't think Bam had been prepared to kick family members out for him.

"You know we'll be teased mercilessly for this, right?"

"Oh, like that'd be new. What, don't think you could handle it?"

"Dude. I jerked off to my own ass for a movie. I think I'll be okay."

Bam snorted. "Love you Ry."

"I love you too, Bam." Ryan replied, resting his head against the arm of the couch and closing his eyes.

Just as he began to drift off, Dunn felt a small kiss pressed to his forehead. For the first time he could remember he fell asleep happy.