My head is crowded.
Of the five senses, touch has always been my favorite. Human touch especielly. I really enjoy touch rather it be me touching someone else or me being touched. I am not quite sure why. I sometimes think of touch as a drug because I can often feel myself getting high off of it. Even off of the lightest touch. I love how it can send electricity through my body. Maybe I am this way because my parents are not people who touch much. My dad especially he doesnt like to be touched at all. Maybe because of the lack of touch in my household I tend to seek it elsewhere. I am not a psychologist but that is my theory.
A fault I find in society and in human beings as a whole is the fact that we are so consumed with cosmetic apperences. For example one of the first things we do when a baby is born, besides make sure it is alive, is count it's fingers and toes and rejoice when we find out he has the asthetically correct amount. Lord forbid the baby had 1 too many or 1 less for that might make him less desirable to the people who should love him regardless of his condition. Appearences are everything. Period. I mean dont get me wrong I get caught up in the hype of beauty and normality. If I were to tell you that I didnt, I would be a hypocrite who was lying through my teeth. I am a result of my culture. I have been molded since I was a young child playing with barbies in my room that beautiful people are more acceptable and liked in society. It was deeply engrained in my being espeicailly growing up in America. We are one of the most beauty conscious nations in the world. As soon as you turn on a television in America you are bombarded with what "they", the society, deems beautiful and acceptable. It makes the saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder no longer relevent.
I have also realized that it is hard to see the beauty in yourself that other people see in you. This is due to the fact of self criticism. When a person looks in a mirror what is reflected back is something totally different from what everyone else sees because the mind is a very powerful thing. If you have a low self esteem and think you are ugly no matter how much make up you put on or how many cute clothes you buy when you look into the mirror you are always going to see ugly because you have trained yourself to not see the positive aspects of your appearence. I think most of us are more insecure with ourselves than we let show.