<33
In one of my previous entries, I stated why I loved Johnathan. Now I want to make sure you all know how much, including you, John.
Mm, I know I've said this to John already, but I really want to make it clear. I know I often don't show it, or anything that I'm feeling. But now I want people to know how I feel. So here goes.
Johnathan is everything to me and more than that. He's my hope, and my faith, and the person behind me that knows how to cheer me on. He's always there to make me happy, and he knows how to have a good time. Sure, I know he gets upset easily, but that makes me want to make him all the more happier. He makes me feel like an actual person. He makes me feel pretty, happy, and he makes me feel like I'm loved.
*taken from our yahoo conversation over this*: x_greyscale: It's just, I'm so different from everyone else I know, and I've got a different kind of relationship with a different kind of person in a different state. And it's not the different part I have a problem with. I love you and I sure as hell love being with you. But it's hard because I can't tell everyone I love you, I can't tell everyone we're together, because they don't understand.
x_greyscale: But see.
x_greyscale: It's also just as easy as it is hard to deal with too.
x_greyscale: I can say I have someone that really loves me, not someone that's gonna whore around me for 2 days and leave. I get to say that I'm already madly in love at 14 when others don't get the chance to even know what love is 'til their older. I get the chance to say that I get you, and no one else can.
Look. I know I'm little, and I know you probably think I don't know what love is. But hell, I do. I really do. And I don't need you to believe me. But even though I'm 14, I know what love is, and I sure as hell love Johnathan more than everything in the world.
*more stuff from the yahoo conversation*x_greyscale: I really, really love you, and I really didn't mean to hurt you like that. Sure, maybe I didn't know, but I should know what makes you tick, and I should've watched my mouth, but, as always, my mouth runs off without my mind. But I'm really sorry, and I wish I could just go into the past and change it all so maybe I wouldn't have hurt you as much as I've done. v___v
John: How do you feel about.. knowing that.. you could so easily just destroy me... because I've let you in so close to my heart...?
John: ...v_v;
John: Now look..
John: First of all.
John: I'm just saying that if you done something terrible.
John: I'm not that fragile or you would have already.
John: xD
x_greyscale: I'm scared, and not just a little bit. I'm really scared to the point if I did destroy you, I'd break my own heart. I'm scared that I might screw up more than all the other screw-ups I've had, and destroy the only person I really love.
x_greyscale: I love you so much that it hurts me sometimes. You're my hope and my faith, and the person who believes in me more than anything, who helps me more than anything, who knows me more than anyone, who loves me more than anything, who trusts me better than those close to me. You're the closest thing I've got to my heart. We've always been best friends since we met, you know that, and I haven't ever completely distrusted you. You're the person I know I can come to when I'm having trouble, you're the person I love more than anything in Heaven and Hell, you're the one I trust the most. And then you're so much like my father, the father I rarely get to see, and that makes me love you even more, because it's like seeing my father all year round. You're the one who can easily put a smile to my face.
x_greyscale: You can make me real happy to the point I cry. You're everything to me. If I lost you.. I'd lose everything. I'd give up my life if I lost you.
Goddamn, see people? I love him, okay? I love him so much that him just getting mad can hurt. I love him so goddamn much that I get lonely, bored, and really sad when he isn't here. I.. wow, you know, there isn't anything that could fully state how much I love him. That's how much I do. Grawr, @_@.
I love you Tart! I really do! You're everything to me, and I never want you to forget that. And if you've got nothing to cling on, cling to that. The thought of you is what makes me the happiest. <33333
Mm, I know I've said this to John already, but I really want to make it clear. I know I often don't show it, or anything that I'm feeling. But now I want people to know how I feel. So here goes.
Johnathan is everything to me and more than that. He's my hope, and my faith, and the person behind me that knows how to cheer me on. He's always there to make me happy, and he knows how to have a good time. Sure, I know he gets upset easily, but that makes me want to make him all the more happier. He makes me feel like an actual person. He makes me feel pretty, happy, and he makes me feel like I'm loved.
*taken from our yahoo conversation over this*: x_greyscale: It's just, I'm so different from everyone else I know, and I've got a different kind of relationship with a different kind of person in a different state. And it's not the different part I have a problem with. I love you and I sure as hell love being with you. But it's hard because I can't tell everyone I love you, I can't tell everyone we're together, because they don't understand.
x_greyscale: But see.
x_greyscale: It's also just as easy as it is hard to deal with too.
x_greyscale: I can say I have someone that really loves me, not someone that's gonna whore around me for 2 days and leave. I get to say that I'm already madly in love at 14 when others don't get the chance to even know what love is 'til their older. I get the chance to say that I get you, and no one else can.
Look. I know I'm little, and I know you probably think I don't know what love is. But hell, I do. I really do. And I don't need you to believe me. But even though I'm 14, I know what love is, and I sure as hell love Johnathan more than everything in the world.
*more stuff from the yahoo conversation*x_greyscale: I really, really love you, and I really didn't mean to hurt you like that. Sure, maybe I didn't know, but I should know what makes you tick, and I should've watched my mouth, but, as always, my mouth runs off without my mind. But I'm really sorry, and I wish I could just go into the past and change it all so maybe I wouldn't have hurt you as much as I've done. v___v
John: How do you feel about.. knowing that.. you could so easily just destroy me... because I've let you in so close to my heart...?
John: ...v_v;
John: Now look..
John: First of all.
John: I'm just saying that if you done something terrible.
John: I'm not that fragile or you would have already.
John: xD
x_greyscale: I'm scared, and not just a little bit. I'm really scared to the point if I did destroy you, I'd break my own heart. I'm scared that I might screw up more than all the other screw-ups I've had, and destroy the only person I really love.
x_greyscale: I love you so much that it hurts me sometimes. You're my hope and my faith, and the person who believes in me more than anything, who helps me more than anything, who knows me more than anyone, who loves me more than anything, who trusts me better than those close to me. You're the closest thing I've got to my heart. We've always been best friends since we met, you know that, and I haven't ever completely distrusted you. You're the person I know I can come to when I'm having trouble, you're the person I love more than anything in Heaven and Hell, you're the one I trust the most. And then you're so much like my father, the father I rarely get to see, and that makes me love you even more, because it's like seeing my father all year round. You're the one who can easily put a smile to my face.
x_greyscale: You can make me real happy to the point I cry. You're everything to me. If I lost you.. I'd lose everything. I'd give up my life if I lost you.
Goddamn, see people? I love him, okay? I love him so much that him just getting mad can hurt. I love him so goddamn much that I get lonely, bored, and really sad when he isn't here. I.. wow, you know, there isn't anything that could fully state how much I love him. That's how much I do. Grawr, @_@.
I love you Tart! I really do! You're everything to me, and I never want you to forget that. And if you've got nothing to cling on, cling to that. The thought of you is what makes me the happiest. <33333