Distance makes the heart grow fonder...
Ya YA YA yell all you want. So what if i havent been up to updating since july. I must say lifes gone *(farting sound)ever sine july. School started yesterday. Feels like nothings changed. I really don't have any friends in my classes, which is good because I'll concentrate on school without being interrupted. I gotta get a good GPA this year. Im aiming for 3.7 ...
So Idk. Nick hates me. ya, this time its my fault. I wrote some goofy bullshit to brandon on his myspace, and nick took it pretty serious. It bothers me how he thinks i like brandon. Fer goodness sake, I could have had him and I still could. But I don't want him. I chose nick. I lOvE nick more than anything in this world. Brandon means nothing to me.
He (nick) said some mean things. I made him feel like shit... So I deserve it.
But now Ive been thrown in the corner of his mind, and last on his list. He really knos how to make a bitch feel guilty. I didn't even think twice about the comment. Relationships are so overrated. I wish there was something I could do to have him forgive me, but he doesn't want my notes- he made that clear even if i have something to say. He doesn't want brownies, cookies or pies...I don't kno what to give him. I feel like the most worthless person, knowing i broke his heart and theres nothing I can do to fix it up. Plus, im grounded for going to frankemuth with him. It was well worth it tho- I had the time of my life. I'll update more on that later. Alls Ive been doin is sleepin,listening to stupid songs that make me wanna slit my wrists lol, writing him notes, thinkin about him constantly. Im scared to see him. Im scared to dress pretty around him. Im scared hes just going say im a slut again like every other girl. I wrote a stupid comment, and I'm sorry. I feel so bad about it... and he just thinks that just because i have a guilty conscience, that i meant the comment. Thats not it at all!!! I'm so torn up and sorry about this because I FEEL HORRIBLE. He was sooo mad at me! Im janice- I say sorry about everything. About stupid shit. I feel bad about him bumping into me. Im like OH IM SORRY, when it wasn't even my fault. So when something serious comes along im like OH MY GOSH IM SO SORRY BLAH BLAH and I really don't shut up. I feel like one great big pile of shit. He doesn't even love me as much now, I can tell. It's in the way he talks to me...when he does. When he calls he only talks to me for 2 minutes. I feel even worse because I've been bitter towards him all summer...Ive had serious issues about things i know hes done. It haunts me. I can forgive, I just can't forget. Now this hits, and the tables have turned. I didn't cheat on him, but hes acting like i did. Im so scared to be around him if he doesn't feel the same way anymore. He said im not his little janice anymore. He said he wouldn't have expected the comment out of his little janice.
If im not his little janice, his baby girl, his boogie, then what am I?
Im so sorry
He means the world to me...
So Idk. Nick hates me. ya, this time its my fault. I wrote some goofy bullshit to brandon on his myspace, and nick took it pretty serious. It bothers me how he thinks i like brandon. Fer goodness sake, I could have had him and I still could. But I don't want him. I chose nick. I lOvE nick more than anything in this world. Brandon means nothing to me.
He (nick) said some mean things. I made him feel like shit... So I deserve it.
But now Ive been thrown in the corner of his mind, and last on his list. He really knos how to make a bitch feel guilty. I didn't even think twice about the comment. Relationships are so overrated. I wish there was something I could do to have him forgive me, but he doesn't want my notes- he made that clear even if i have something to say. He doesn't want brownies, cookies or pies...I don't kno what to give him. I feel like the most worthless person, knowing i broke his heart and theres nothing I can do to fix it up. Plus, im grounded for going to frankemuth with him. It was well worth it tho- I had the time of my life. I'll update more on that later. Alls Ive been doin is sleepin,listening to stupid songs that make me wanna slit my wrists lol, writing him notes, thinkin about him constantly. Im scared to see him. Im scared to dress pretty around him. Im scared hes just going say im a slut again like every other girl. I wrote a stupid comment, and I'm sorry. I feel so bad about it... and he just thinks that just because i have a guilty conscience, that i meant the comment. Thats not it at all!!! I'm so torn up and sorry about this because I FEEL HORRIBLE. He was sooo mad at me! Im janice- I say sorry about everything. About stupid shit. I feel bad about him bumping into me. Im like OH IM SORRY, when it wasn't even my fault. So when something serious comes along im like OH MY GOSH IM SO SORRY BLAH BLAH and I really don't shut up. I feel like one great big pile of shit. He doesn't even love me as much now, I can tell. It's in the way he talks to me...when he does. When he calls he only talks to me for 2 minutes. I feel even worse because I've been bitter towards him all summer...Ive had serious issues about things i know hes done. It haunts me. I can forgive, I just can't forget. Now this hits, and the tables have turned. I didn't cheat on him, but hes acting like i did. Im so scared to be around him if he doesn't feel the same way anymore. He said im not his little janice anymore. He said he wouldn't have expected the comment out of his little janice.
If im not his little janice, his baby girl, his boogie, then what am I?
Im so sorry
He means the world to me...