(no subject)
and i don't trust you
‘cause every time you're here
your intentions are unclear
i spend every hour waiting for a phone call
that i know will never come
i used to think you were the one
now i'm sick of thinking anything at all
- maroon 5
dave & i had a long talk on the phone tonight. i'm not sure how it went, we're gonna be friends? i guess that's it. after all he has done to be & all the hurt he caused me i don't want to be just friends. this is going to be really hard for me and i'm not sure i can do it. i guess when justin & him were up north w/ all the guys justin told dave he could picture himself marrying me. i don't know how i feel about that. i wish there wasn't this empty pit inside of me. i usually do well at making everyone else happy. but i don't know if i can do this anymore. my doc says he thinks i'm getting down again. i agree... he's slow to pick up on things. i think justin is getting too attached. i love him to death but i don't think of him when it comes to marriage. hell, i don't even think about getting married yet. i don't want to hurt him but if he is that attached & i'm not then the relationship is going to go downhill eventually. then if justin and i did break up then i don't know what i would do with myself. just be alone in this world. no boyfriend, no best friend, no anyone. i've lost my appetite which i guess is good. that means i'm losing weight. looks like that is the only thing going for me... all my troubles cause me to worry about everything. i need advice. please comment. xo
p.s. i'm going to make this friends only so if you read this and arn't added then comment and i'll add you.