(no subject)

[x_1life2live_x]

I'm really disappointed in everyone, including myself. I hate how people say they're your friend and you make plans to hang out with them and they just totally blow you off to hang out with eachother and Mike Jo and Kessler. That's dissappointing. It's disappointing when people say they've stopped something but really just lied and makes you really really sad about it because you thought they were honest with you but in fact they just lied. That hurts. I'm disappointed that I feel like I need a guy in my life to be happy. I'm disapointed that everyone has to be so upset about the choices I make. It's disappointing that all of my friends have dates to homecoming except for me. It hurts when the people you like dont like you back. I'm disappointed that I feel like no ones really there for me. I'm disapointed in the fact I get angry at so many things that others think are little trivial things but mean a lot to me. Like smoking. And lying. I'm disapointed that people cant see me as more than just a typical white slut or someone that just puts out. For everyone that doesnt know, i'm more than that. Not some stupid whore that just goes out and gives every guy a free show and shit. Who cares what I wear, it's my choice but you shouldnt judge me. I'm disapointed that people say I love you and dont mean it. It hurts to know everyone moves so fast and never has time to just slow down and think about things. One day things are good and the next it's like it never happened. The days just blur into eachother like one blob of nothing. I'm disapointed that the only times people do something different on a weekened i'm not invited. Not all of us have as much time to enjoy the things in life as you guys do. It's disapointing to think that just because I'm a girl people judge me as a lesser thing than a guy. That's just lame. It's sad to think that when people say tehy're gonna be there for you they get pissed at what you have to say. It takes time to get over things, especially what i'm trying to get over and I dont get how people say just get over it when they took so long getting over their own thing. When i do try to move on from it, it's never the right choice. Well to me it's fine but everyone else nope. Oh well it's all good... I'm just gonna spend the rest of my friday night chilling by myself.
And I'm so fucking disappointed in myself for even thinking about you the way I used to.