Don't stop believin
It's funny to look back on past entries and see what my life was like. i can't believe it's been over two years since I wrote in this damn thing, but I need to start doing it again. It's nice to write out my thoughts & feelings, and I've forgotten how much I enjoy it.
I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm in school, taking classes, passing time. So many of my friends are graduating, or about to graduate college, and I feel like a reject. I'm no where near being done, and I can't finish anytime soon because I have no freaking idea what the hell I want to do with my life. Radiology? Criminal justice? Broadcasting entertainment? Teaching? I have so many things I think about doing, but nothing that particularly interests me enough to take action on. It's frustrating.
I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of no where and I don't know what to do about it. I wish I could win the lottery, and just take that money to travel the world and clear my head.
Not logical, I know. I need to do something though. I thought moving to Tampa would be the best thing for me, but in all actuality, I was miserable. I hated being away from my family and the people I loved, and instead of focusing me on my future, it just pushed me off the path even more. I have no one to blame but myself, I know this, but at the same time.. I took a chance right? It was worth a shot to see where it lead me.
I miss my roommates more than life itself. I didn't realize how accustomed I'd gotten to those two girls being with me ALL the time, until I no longer have them. I hated Tampa, I hated working there and going to school there... but I loved my roommates. We were inseperable and now our lives are so different, we barely find time to talk. It sucks.
I've learned alot in the last few months. Granted, not about what I wanna do with my life, but about the people IN my life. I've gotten rid of people who bring me down, and I've brought myself closer to ones that I feel are good for me. There are still a few that I'm not sure about, I know they're not good for me but I also love them too much to let them go... But I've never felt more at peace with the people in my life than I do right now. I'm going to Miami this weekend, to see the girls.. And as great as that is, it is even greater than normal because Kelsey will be with me. It's the first time in 4 or 5 years that all 5 of us have been together, and I honestly can't wait. This weekend will be one of the best, and I have a feeling I'll come home much happier and with a clearer head. Regardless of the miles between us, those 4 girls and I have managed to stay closer than ever over the years. How many people can say they've got friends that will wake up at 7am, drive 4 hours to see you to make sure you're okay, then turn around and drive the 4 hours back home all in one day? Just because they're worried about you and wanted you to know they're there? Not many people have friends like that, and I thank God every day for bringing them into my life.
I'd be lost without them.