#471--No number.
I've been really slack with tracking my food, and I can't bring myself to give any more shits. But I need to keep going. I'm determined to reach my goal and I refuse to give up. I'm just having a clump.
More importantly though, I got into a huge fight with my parents over the holiday ((happy fucking Thanksgiving, right?)). They both basically cornered me on what my plans for the future were, and I just let them have it. I'm tired of being questioned about it, I'm tired of being looked at like a failure, I'm tired of *feeling* like a failure to them, I'm tired of feeling like I'm only good or grandchildren, everything. I told them I was suicidal and depressed when I moved back to Greenville and that I needed help. Mom couldn't say much, but Dad? Dad said I was overreacting. He also threatened to cut me off financially if I kept not doing anything with my life.
I don't want to get into it anymore than that, but I haven't spoken to them since. And until I feel safe talking to either one of them again, I don't plan on making contact. I got a letter from Mom today, read two lines, and promptly tore it apart. Since they ruined one holiday for me, I'm currently not planning on going home for Christmas. Since they think I'm just wasting their money doing nothing, I might as well not waste gas to go home.
The only one who understands is Kelly, because she went through the exact same thing basically. I don't know what I would do without her.
I'm just so pissed at them. And I'm so frustrated with myself. But I'm so sick of crying, and I have to get a second job now to support myself and I'm just tired. I don't even know where to look.
More importantly though, I got into a huge fight with my parents over the holiday ((happy fucking Thanksgiving, right?)). They both basically cornered me on what my plans for the future were, and I just let them have it. I'm tired of being questioned about it, I'm tired of being looked at like a failure, I'm tired of *feeling* like a failure to them, I'm tired of feeling like I'm only good or grandchildren, everything. I told them I was suicidal and depressed when I moved back to Greenville and that I needed help. Mom couldn't say much, but Dad? Dad said I was overreacting. He also threatened to cut me off financially if I kept not doing anything with my life.
I don't want to get into it anymore than that, but I haven't spoken to them since. And until I feel safe talking to either one of them again, I don't plan on making contact. I got a letter from Mom today, read two lines, and promptly tore it apart. Since they ruined one holiday for me, I'm currently not planning on going home for Christmas. Since they think I'm just wasting their money doing nothing, I might as well not waste gas to go home.
The only one who understands is Kelly, because she went through the exact same thing basically. I don't know what I would do without her.
I'm just so pissed at them. And I'm so frustrated with myself. But I'm so sick of crying, and I have to get a second job now to support myself and I'm just tired. I don't even know where to look.