Fic: "The Long Way Home" Part 7 Continued

[the_milky_way]

****

After the fight things are awkward again. For a while anyway.

The cold Jared caught lingers for a few days but never breaks out fully. He feels beat but okay and Alec slowly stops hovering every time Jared so much as coughs into his tea.

Alec walks on eggshells around him though, tries not to push, not to say the wrong things. There is tension in the room neither of them can solve, because they don’t really know how to. All the progress they made seems to have taken a hundred steps back. The knowledge that he somehow managed to almost destroy everything with one childish action weighs hard on Jared.

Alec keeps on telling him that he gets it, that things are okay. Jared isn’t so sure about that.

There are still dreams, still nights where he almost kicks Alec out of bed and has to be held down so that he doesn’t hurt himself. There are still days where he can’t do anything but sit at the window and lose himself in memories of a life he once had. There are still moments when Alec just gives up and leaves him be. Those moments hurt the most because Jared knows it’s him doing it and Alec’s just trying to stick close.

Just to do something other than to constantly think about how to make it up to Alec, Jared takes up sketching again. Draws a whole comic strip about his time at Manticore, about what White did to him, about the drugs. The whole nightmare visible on paper and in color. It settles something within Jared. Just tiny pieces that click back into place but it helps nonetheless.

Joshua had been right about this being a way to say things, to express himself without words.

He keeps it hidden from Alec until he is done. Alec doesn’t push which kind of annoys Jared. He wants him to push, just not too much. The anger is a constant inside of him but it’s not Alec he’s angry at.

There are times he sits the whole day sketching furiously and only stopping when Alec sets food down next to him. He spends just as much time outside when he can. Alec never lets him out of his eyes, is there when Jared needs him close and keeps away when he needs space.

Alec sits quietly in front of the fire the evening Jared decides to show him.

“I… Yeah?”

Jared nods, settles down next to Alec and waits. Almost fears Alec’s reaction. Of course Alec knows most of it through the dreams, knows what happened, that White drugged him. Alec knows that White wanted him to give away TC to save his own life and that Jared didn’t, couldn’t do it.

Alec has seen the dreams as vividly as Jared, has heard White raving on about how unnatural things like Jared were. Alec has heard the threats, knows that White wanted to ‘study’ Jared, to find how he was different from any other Transgenic.

Alec knows all this. But Jared still has to tell. Not with words, because that’s still too hard. But with pictures.

Jared wants Alec to know that the drugs burned like liquid fire in his veins, on his skin, that he couldn’t think straight or keep control of his body. Jared needs him to know that he was constantly trying to reach out to Alec and that he never knew if he managed it. Jared has to tell him that nothing else happened and that Alec was there in time.

Alec reads through it all quietly, then puts the pages on the table and turns toward Jared.

His face is blank, almost emotionless and for a second there Jared can’t read him at all. There are no emotions coming from Alec but then Jared thinks he is deliberately blocking Alec out, so protect himself, to safe Alec from the backlash.

He is in Alec’s arms before he knows what’s going on.

Jared lets himself being hold. Soaks it all up and takes it in.

Alec is there for him. Alec will be there for him.

***

It’s been three weeks since Alec sat a whole night and went over Jared’s sketches for a second time. The first time, with Jared right by his side, has been nothing but a haze. He just had to go over it again, sort his own thoughts.

The horrors are still there, in Jared’s dreams, and now on paper and Alec needed time to get it into his head that it’s all real.

Jared tries to deal as best as he can and Alec tries to be there for him.

It works so far.

With Jared sketching and Alec keeping busy and mostly keeping his emotions to himself they have settled into something that feels very domestic. Alec has to smile every time he thinks about it. He never saw himself as someone settling down. Not since Rachel and not… not really with a boy. Another man.

He also never really thought that he’d be in love again. Not after Rachel, not after what Manticore made out of it. Things aren’t going smooth or perfectly but that’s not what life is anyway. Life is supposed to have up and downs, Alec’s learning it all over again.

Jared brings something to his life that he never had before. It’s exciting and scary. It’s new and still feels like he’s known it for a while now. He still has his doubts about it all, still thinks sometimes Jared might be too young. But then Jared says something, does something and Alec again sees how far ahead of his age Jared really is. And really, Alec isn't that old anyway. Seven years can be a lot but with Jared it doesn't seem to be.

The boy had to grow up fast and without much help. He managed it, even if sometimes his boyish side shines through and Alec sees how young he still is despite being mature.

But Alec is already too far gone to even consider ending it. He just has to think back to when Jared wasn’t there, how much it had hurt, ached even. How he couldn’t even stand the thought of never seeing Jared again, of never being able to speak to him again.

No, Alec won’t let him go. Not again.

What it all boils down to, all those thoughts and doubts and musings, is that he is happy and that he doesn’t have any reason to let that go. Jared makes him happy. It’s as simple as that.

They have a life here. Up in the mountains, away from everyone and everything. It’s peaceful and quiet. Alec’s surprised how well that actually works for him, how much he must have craved that kind of solitude.

The snow has stopped and it’s been a week of sunshine and star filled night skies. It feels like foreboding but Alec can’t put his finger down why. It doesn’t help that Jared is getting all fidgety and restless in the cabin.

They haven’t heard from anyone yet.

The supplies are plenty still and Alec knows someone will come up eventually. When he thinks about it, he’s surprised how little he misses TC. But at the same time Alec waits for something to happen though, feels like there is something waiting for them. Both feel it, itch to do something about it.

Jared more so than Alec. Mutters under his breath or screams out in his dreams that things are too good to be true. And as much as it pains him, Alec is tempted to agree. It’s too quiet. There is something in the air and Alec is waiting for it to explode right into their faces.

He hates it.

The dreams are not helping with the tension either. They both wait and they both rile each other up. Jared dreams almost every night again. When it’s not nightmares filled with blood and guilt it’s vivid and graphic. Alec blushes just at the thought of some of those images. They’re driving each other crazy with sexual tension.

“Gotcha.” Alec actually grunts under the weight suddenly settling down on his back. He’s in the kitchen, trying to come up with something that will be edible and something different from the canned goods they’ve had the last few days. Jared can be very five-year-old like when it comes to food.

“Yeah, you do. What’ya gonna to with me?” Alec can’t keep the suggestive tone out of his voice. Just can’t.

They have been flirting again for some days now, every sentence, every word laden with heavy innuendo. And Alec has to admit that he loves it. Loves to see this carefree side of Jared out in the open and not hidden under the weight of the world.

“Hmmm… eat you? ‘M a growing boy. Feel it?” Jared’s grinding his groin against Alec’s lower back. If that boy really is still growing Alec wonders if he should be afraid of the sexual power he might one day decide to show off.

“Oh yeah. Feel it. Eat me huh? How’s that going to happen?”

“I have some ideas. I’m not that much of a newbie. Blowjob. Rimming. Chose.”

Alec actually chokes, on a laugh and on his own surprise. This is the most blunt Jared has been since Logan left.

“Choose, Alec. Now.” Jared slides down from where he’s been hanging on to Alec’s back, makes sure Alec can feel his arousal just fine. “Don’t back out again. Please. I just… I need you. Need this.. From you. Alec?”

Jared sounds desperate, in the way he only ever does when he wakes up from a particularly bad dream and needs Alec to reassure him that he’s alive, that they both are. These are the only times Alec allows it, allows Jared to take control. Because then Jared is so out of it that denying him would damage more than allowing it does.

And it’s mutual anyway. Alec has long learned that he wants it, too. That he wants to give Jared everything he needs and if it’s just having his hands wrapped around Alec’s cock, stroking and kissing the life out of Alec, then this is what Jared gets.

The first time, Alec said No, felt like he was taking advantage of Jared. It resulted in a day of torture, of Jared not letting him close and hiding, crying quietly and trying not to let Alec see it. It took one of those draining and emotionally exhausting talks to get things out, to get things right. Alec knows now what Jared needs when he is this desperate.

Now though it’s different. There hasn’t been a dream nor has Jared been zoning out again. He is just horny. And usually that results in handjobs, one time a blowjob even, and mostly just rubbing off against each other. There have been fingers, too. Seeking and learning. Nothing more, never more. Now though, now something has changed.

There is an urgency to it that makes Alec dizzy, with want and excitement.

They have never crossed that line. Never.

“Alec. Please?” He knows what Jared is asking for. Knows it deep down, his knees almost buckle then and there. His mind screams at him, screams that Jared is too young, too broken. But another voice, much quieter, much more reasonable, tells him that 17 actually isn’t too young.

“What do you want? What do you need? Tell me. Tell me, Jay. With words.” Alec turns and surges forward, kisses Jared greedily like he hasn’t in a while. He’s still mindful of the boy’s ribs even though there shouldn’t be anything wrong anymore.

“You.” Jared pants against his lips, hips already moving against him, trying to find friction and a rhythm. Alec doesn’t let him find one, moves away a little but kisses him harder at the same time.

“Me? What should I do?”

“God... Alec…” Jared moans. Deep and throaty. It turns Alec on like nothing else, makes him shiver and bite. Fingers tangle in Jared’s hair. It’s growing out and Alec just loves to tuck at it, to bury his fingers in it.

“Tell me, Jay. Say the words.” Alec’s not sure where this is coming from but he needs Jared to speak up, to say it out loud. He needs to know that they’re on the same page, wanting the same thing.

Jared whines, wriggles, pushes close to Alec. Mouth, teeth, tongue, Alec feels them all on his skin. Shivers with every contact, every lick, and every bite. Jared’s demanding, taking what he can get. Alec’s far from denying him, wouldn’t even think of it even if he could think straight.

He kisses back with the same force, takes what he wants and revels in the fact that he doesn’t need to hold back anymore. Drags his hands under Jared’s shirt, touches skin and soaks it up. Jared’s been bulking up, sparing does him good and Alec feels a thrill when he traces newly formed muscles with his fingers.

Jared shivers, moans and tries to get even closer.

“Want you. Your hands…. T-touch me. Kiss me. Hands and you. Want you, all of you... In-inside of me.” Jared sounds hoarse, arousal clear and strong.

Alec shivers, grabs on to Jared’s hips and unceremoniously hoists him up onto the kitchen counter. Alec is right there, right between strong thighs, closer not to the skin he wants to bite, wants to mark. Jared’s neck lies exposed, it’s so inviting and Alec just dips his head and licks, sucks, bites until Jared is a writhing mess in his hands.

It should be this easy. It shouldn’t be this fast. But it’s them right there. Everything they have been doing so far was headless, suicidal and not logical at all. So why stop now?

It’s them, as simple as that.

“G-god… ‘lec.” Jared chokes out, arches away and moves his hips to seek friction, anything taking him closer to the edge. Alec can feel it, sees flashes of it in his mind, sees images of what Jared wants, and feels it throbbing in his veins, through his body.

He’s used to feeling Jared like this, but this is more intense than anything before. Alec groans when Jared gets lost in his fantasy. They won’t last long this way but Alec can’t, won’t, doesn’t want to stop Jared.

The images are good, hot; make him want it all the more.

“You want me like this Jay? Laying you out right here? Using my hands on you, my mouth before I take you? Like that?” The response he gets is almost too much. Images too bright, too fast right inside his head. Images mixed with emotions. Images of him and Jared.

“Yeah... Alec, please. Please.” Jared’s moving smoothly under Alec’s hands. Hot and sweat skin slide along Alec’s fingers, make him grip harder, make him want to taste. Jared almost lies on the counter now, propped up on elbows, legs spread obscenely wide, eyes half lidded, cheeks flushed.

This image alone manages to take Alec right to the edge. He has to stand there for a second, calm down and just watch, just look at the man in front of him. At the man that is his, his to love, his to worship, his to keep safe.

His.

“Alec? Please... don’t… just... I want to. Need to.” Jared sounds desperate now, needy and young.

And Alec? Alec dives right in and takes.

Clothes are shed in seconds, so fast that Jared’s shirt rips and Alec stumbled into him when he tries to get out of his pants. He has Jared naked in no time. Naked and wanting, spread out for Alec and not in the least reluctant or shy.

Jared wants this. It hits Alec like a punch and he groans out loud when he moves in to take Jared into his hand. Jared moans, whines, begs. Alec swallows it all in a kiss.

They kiss frantically, like this is the first and the last time. Like they don’t have time anymore. Every time Alec stops for just a second Jared is there, with his hands, his mouth, his mind. Images are floating around, make them moan and beg. Make them not care about anything but them.

Jared feels hot under his hands, skin sweaty and smooth. He has to taste then, licks and sucks, makes Jared’s chest and hip. Jared can’t stay still, needs more, needs everything. He’s laid out on the counter, ready for Alec to take him and suddenly that’s not enough.

Alec drags Jared up, pulls him in, and devours his mouth. It’s not enough, not the right way. And when Jared’s legs wrap around his waist Alec knows what’s missing. He holds on to Jared, lifts him off the counter, moves fast until there is a bed.

The picture of Jared on his back among the covers is so beautiful that Alec smiles. He smiles down on Jared and moves right back on.

Alec licks into Jared’s mouth, taking it all in. The taste he’s come to love, the desperation coming off from the body beneath him. He licks, sucks and bites every inch if skin he reaches. Caresses the body, the skin, the muscles.

Like before his fingers follow the defined muscles of Jared’s chest, trace the hip bone and move along the fine skin of the inside of Jared’s thighs. Jared’s arching, moaning, and breathing heavily to keep himself under control.

That’s not what Alec wants. He wants Jared to lose it. To let go.

Alec’s mouth follows his fingers, little licks, teeth nipping, teasing. He noses along the fine hairs leading down to Jared’s cock. He licks around the heated skin, ignores the cock lying thick and reading against flat abs.

Jared moans in protest. Alec moves lower, enjoys the heady feeling, the musky scent. The smell hits him hard. There's want, arousal, power and lust all mixed into one heavy cocktail. It’s spikes heat and arousal in him as well, makes him move, moan at the friction against his own cock.

Jared is close to losing it, out of desire and lust. Aroused beyond anything and needed Alec to do something about it.

Alec takes his time. Teases and just waits, waits until the both can’t take it anymore.

There are no words anymore, just gasps and moans and wordless pleas.

Alec makes it all about feeling right now. About being there, in this moment, and experiencing each other. Alec knows Jared needs it, feels it in himself, senses the emotions.

Jared’s not projecting, too far gone already, but Alec senses it all anyway.

He licks Jared’s cock on his move upwards again. Just a lick. Jared’s bucking into it, wild and lost in the sensation.

Alec grabs him them, turns him around and starts his way down again. Slow, and sure, and teasing. He wants to taste every single inch, every part of Jared. He wants to seal this away in his mind, remember it whenever he can.

This is new. This is big.

“You want this Jay? You sure?” He has to know, has to ask. Only so that he can go on.

Alec’s lips, tongue and teeth travel down Jared’s spine, following the sweat that's now running down skin. Alec licks along the lines of Jared’s lower back and ass, tracing each lick with a hint of teeth, making Jared twitch and moan. Alec knows that Jared is close. Loves the fact that he can make Jared so headless, so needy.

Then Jared moans, deep, guttural and loud.

“God… ‘lec. Please. Yes. Yes.”
Alec almost surges into action then, feels silly how eager he suddenly is, surprised at how much he needs it, too. Surprised at how much he wants it, how much he wants Jared just then. It’s almost overwhelming.

Jared’s eyes are closed tightly, he feels it all, takes it in from Alec, too. That’s a connection like nothing Alec’s ever known before.

He takes the lotion from the bedside table, the one for Jared’s cracked skin around his ribs. Nothing else there, it’ll do though. And then his fingers are sliding in, seeking Jared out and just sink deeper into the heat. Jared needs Alec like this. He moans, tries to get Alec to move, tries to get and hand under himself. Alec swats it away. Jared’s cock is his to touch.

Alec slips his hand along Jared’s hip, strokes, caresses, just feels. Then he touches and feels pearls of pre-come catch on his fingers.

Jared sobs out loud, ruts against his fingers, the bedspread. Ruts to seek friction and sounds so very desperate while doing so. It’s then that Alec can’t hold back anymore. He moves up, fast and strong. Lifts Jared up on hands and knees. Manhandles him, moans out loud when Jared just lets him. Pliant and needy, ready.

He’s careful, so very careful and it almost kills him holding back like this. But it’s good. Oh so good. Hot and electric. It’s like nothing else he’s ever felt or done before. Jared moans unabashedly, open and free. Moves his hips to meet Alec, moves his hips to take more.

Jared’s wanton with lust, writhing again. Begging with every move of his body. Jared loves it.
Alec loves it.

Alec slides into Jared with one smooth move, bottoms out.

For a second neither of them moves.
Jared sobs, makes tiny mewling sounds and then he moves his hips. Bucks and growls. Alec laughs out loud. And then he moves as well. Deep and strong thrusts. Jared is frantic and Alec is losing it.

Fingers scratch along his skin, trying to get a hold, but unable to stop moving. Jared’s scratching deep. Alec moans out loud with each scratch, each dig.

It’s good. So good.

Alec’s still teasing; seeking out what he knows will drive Jared crazy. Has done it before with fingers and tongue. But then he needs to move, needs to feel it even more.

Each thrust then deep and powerful, hitting home, hard and rough. Jared moves with him, sobbing, begging now. It drives Alec crazy, closer to the edge he’s already been teetering on. It’s like flashes of lust, electrical surges moving through, making moves erratic, frantic.

He feels it deep inside of him, Building up in waves. At the base of his spine, moving slowly at first and then crashing down on him in a wave of lust and hunger.

It’s hard, fast and frenzied in the end. They are not holding back anymore. Can’t hold back. They are trashing the bed, thumbing it against the wall. And for an insane moment Alec laughs at the thought of Logan been in the other room.

Alec comes with a surprised shout, buried deep inside Jared’s body. Pulsing hot and long. He’s never felt anything like this. It’s taking him under, pulling him away from himself into swirls of light and sparks.

It’s then that he feels Jared right there with him, clenching hard, moaning loudly. They caught in the waves or their orgasms, linked and headless with lust. Alec gasps when the last spurts are squeezed out of him. It leaves him weak and heaving.

Alec's bites at Jared, sinking his teeth deep into his skin, both on his neck and then into his lips. Can’t help it, needs to mark and then he sinks down right on top of Jared.

Slips out a while later and gathers Jared into his arms, rearranges him out of the wet spot and uses the ruined cover to clean them up. Jared’s cover in come, fell right into it when he came.

The boy is dead to the world.

It makes Alec’s heard beat even faster, makes him smile and ache at the same time. Then he thinks ‘this is it’ and succumbs to the sleep pulling at him.

***

It’s dark outside now but the curtains aren’t drawn. The sky is clear, stars are out. Jared thinks it might even be a bit romantic.

They are trading lazy kisses, tangled in the sheets and each other. Jared woke Alec up after an hour or so, with kisses and finger searching. Round two was gentle, nothing compared to the franticness of the first time. It was slow and sleepy. Jared’s sure he’s never held it off so long before.

Alec let him explore. Let him move and manhandle and seek out what’s been untouched for a long time. Alec let him and Jared just feels good about, feels justified for sticking to his own desires and wants, to sticking with Alec.

Jared suddenly believes in them. There are still doubts, insecurities. But he knows they’ll masters those as well. He never thought he’d be able to let someone this close, not after everything. But it works. It really works.

He feels giddy, excited and sore. Fucked out but read to go again.

They haven’t said a single word so far. They’ve just been lying there enjoying each other. No real need for words. Not yet anyway.

Jared moves against Alec and Alec snorts.

“Again?”

“Hmmm… no. Just not yet. Wanna lie here and just… be. Does that make sense?”

“Sure does. Same here. You okay though, right?”

Jared smiles at the concern, knows what Alec’s thinking and for the first time in a long time he doesn’t feel angry at being protected and cared for in such a blatant way. He doesn’t feel patronized.

“’M good. Really good. Uhm... is that... heat?”

Alec actually laughs out loud and Jared can feel his amused in his mind, can hear the laughter there as well. He grins.

“No, Jay. Not yet. Guess, with you... well, it might like with some of the others. Heat triggered when you are eighteen. No idea why it’s in some codes. We’ll though. Definitely some cat in there.” Alec scratches his fingers through Jared’s hair, over sensitive skin. Jared purrs. He just has to.

“Yeah… seems like it.”

“You have some claws on you.” Alec says with another laugh.

“Sorry?”

“’S okay. No worries. In case you haven’t realized it yet, I liked it.” Just then Jared doesn’t even mind how smug Alec sounds. He probably deserves to feel this way.

They kiss again, slow, deep, passionate. Lie there for hours without really doing anything else. Jared’s plastered against Alec’s side, falls asleep again and wakes Alec up with kisses when he’s bored in the middle of the night.

This was his first time. His real first time. The one that counts. Not the time at school where it was just fingers and humping. Not the few times on the road he needed food and offered it. It never went that far anyway, just mouths and fingers.

This is what counts. Alec is.

“You are really okay, yeah?” Alec mumbles against his skin, sleepy but awake, probably because of Jared’s jumbled thoughts.

“Yeah. Don’t... don’t freak out.”

“’M trying not to. Should have asked though. You pulled me under, couldn’t think. Just wanted you. I’m just… happy that I didn’t hurt you.”

“You didn’t. I… I would have stopped you. I will… I promise.”

“Good. I... yeah. Will never hurt you. You know that, right?”
“Yeah. Me, neither.”

Jared’s content and sleep enough to let Alec just pull him closer. He wriggles his leg between Alec’s, kisses him gently and settles down. He’s tired but not overly so.

Jared jolts awake at the shrilling sound right next to his ear. He doesn’t remember falling asleep. Waking up like this has him breathing hard and clutching to Alec, who’s already reaching out to the bedside table.

It takes a few seconds but than Jared remembers the satellite phone. Alec always, always takes it with him, checks the batteries every day, just in case. This seems to be the case. Jared anxiously moves closer, just in time to see Alec bring the phone to his ear.

“Yeah.” Alec looks confused for just a second, then he looks worried and a second later alarmed.

“What? How? Okay, yeah... Okay. I get. No. Just… hurry if you can. I will. I promise.” It’s a short conversation and from the one sided part if alone Jared knows something’s up and that this something isn’t good. Alec’s emotions added to it and he is certain.

Alec’s out of the bed the second he hangs up, grabs his closes and tosses Jared’s his, all the while muttering how stupid it all is and how he should have fucking known.

“Alec!” It’s the fifth time he says the name, this time it’s shouted.

“Shit. God… sorry. Get dressed Jared. Now. Please.” Alec sounds calm but Jared can feel the underlying fear. Alec is in soldier mode right now.

“Alec? What’s going on?” Alec stops then, one arm in his jacket one out. The gun is tucked away against his back. His boots are on, so are several layers of clothes. Jared just knows Alec’s planning to go outside.

“White. He and his men are on the way. Here. They… Max said they found the mole. Or… well she came to them, told them.” Alec goes back to getting dressed and then proceeds to get Jared’s clothes out for him.

“White? How… I… Alec?”

Alec’s there then, right in front of him tipping his face up with gentles hands, thumbs slowly stroking over cheek bones.

“I’ll protect you Jay. I will. Just get dressed. Take the other gun and hide. Run if you have to. Run and hide. Max and Logan are coming. Get to them if I can’t. Promise me, Jay. Promise me that you’ll stay away, that you’ll do as I say. Please?”

It’s too much to take in but Jared nods anyway. No sense in arguing wit Alec about it. Jared gets dressed quickly, in layers and grabs the gun that Alec is holding out for him. He knows how to handle it, will use it if he has to. He’s sure of it.

He’s about to flip the light on, so that he can see what he’s doing, where he is’ going when Alec swats his hand away.

“No light, Jay. Not clueing them in that we know. Ready?

“No. Yeah.”

Alec smiles at him, nods and moves into the hallway. They are about to enter the main room when there is a click behind them.

The backdoor.

Alec pushes Jared into the spare room, lays a finger in his lips and then points to the window. Jared knows what it means, knows that Alec will go out there again and fight, fight for Jared.

Alec leans in, kisses him hard and hugs him close. There something in his eyes, Jared shivers, doesn’t want to know what it is.

“I love you.”

And then Alec is gone.

****

He hears voices close by and ducks back behind a tree. He doesn’t know how long he’s been out here but it must have been a while. His fingers feel numb but he clutches the gun tightly, tries not to let it slip, not to lose it.

It helped him get out. He’s not thinking about that. The image burned into his head, of the man going down. The cabin had been surrounded but not entirely covered. Jared has managed to do exactly what Alec told him to do.

With only minor casualties. He’s thinking in military terms, just because it is easier to deal with it all right now. His knuckles hurt, are spilt and bloody. The guy lying still and unmoving in the snow right next to where Jared is crouching now.

Jared had taken him by surprise and hope no one had heard. The tree and the snow give cover, but there are traces, visible and clear. It’s not snowing, not hiding him away. He has to be careful.

Jared looks around, ducks behind another tree and wonders where he should go next. There is no way of telling how many more men White has hired, has taken with him. Two are dead, lying covered in the blood on the floor of the cabin. One’s knocked out and another tied to the shower rack, courtesy of Alec’s quick thinking when the spare room window proved to be unsafe and Jared had to use the bathroom as an escape.

His breathe is visible in the air, doesn’t do anything to hide him. Jared curses under, moves slowly and tries to listen to every sound around him.

Alec’s somewhere out there. Jared can feel him, gets the emotions pouring off of him in waves, clear and still alive. Jared heaves a breath of relief and then concentrates again.

Alec is out there. Pumped full of tranquillizers and still in danger. Jared doesn’t want to think about it, doesn’t want to know how hopeless the situation really is. He saw Alec fight, almost getting out, too. Saw him taken down by White’s gun, felt the blow and the pain, almost blacked out from it as well. He thought that this was it, that Alec was done for.

Then he heard White talk, hidden from behind the wood shed, shivering in fear and freezing. Heard White taunting Alec, telling him how he’d freeze to death unable to move or call help. White didn’t want Alec, he still wanted Jared.

Jared is nothing more but a freak of nature, something to be studied and then destroyed. All White wants to know is how he’s been created, how they managed to have Jared born naturally and still with all the X5 series features. How it is possible for Jared to adept that well and still be so special. White wants to know how his brain works, Jared won’t let him anywhere near it.

Yeah, Jared wants to know it all as well. It’s all in his dad’s papers and Jared swears to himself that if - no when - they get out of here he’ll ask Logan to explain it all over again. This time he’ll listen. This time he really wants to know why he’s apparently that much of a threat to White and whomever he works for.

White only has parts of them, found in some obscure institute and the very reason why Jared is here and why his family isn’t.

Jared shivers again, a spike of pain has him gasp out and then duck even lower than before. Straining to hear anything Jared’s heart is in his throat and he sweat under his layers of clothes. He moves forward, always an eye out on his surroundings. White has placed his cars around the cabin, lights on full and providing light far into the foods. But Jared’s far into them that he can’t see much anymore.

Jared’s skin stings where it’s exposed to the cold but he can’t concentrate on that right now. He has to find a way out of here, out of the woods and has to find Max or Logan or whoever else is on their way to help them.

He’s careful, relies on his instincts and on what he’s learned in school. Still he’s surprised and can barely stifle a shout when a body drops into the snow right beside his hiding place. The next thing he knows is that he’s staring at the puddle of blood slowly spreading beneath the body and Max shaking him

“Jared. Hey, come on. Snap out of it,” she whispers, voice urgent and full of concern.

“Max.” The lump in his throat feels suspiciously like tears and relief. Max is here. Logan isn’t far. He can seem Mole, too, and Dalton. They are moving swiftly, dangerous and precise. Jared marvels at that for a second before he focuses on Max again.

“Are you hurt?”

“No. Just cold. Alec is though. White shot him… with something.” He wants to ask if they know where Alec is, if they know what’s really going on but he doesn’t get a chance. There are shouts, shots and screams.

There are other men now, not Transgenics, moving in. It’s too fast to take it all in, to realize it even. Jared just sits in the snow and watches. Max is by his side, Logan then, too. No Alec though and he feels dread creeping up on him.

Something isn’t right.

Something isn’t... He reaches out. Then he screams. Loud and desperate. In Pain.

Jared topples forward and clutches his head. He hears Max shout, shake him again but he can’t focus on her. All he sees, all he feels, is Alec. Alec in pain and facing White without any kind of defense. White’s there, standing over Alec, moving closer. Jared sees it all through Alec’s eyes.

White’s looking for Jared, wants to draw him out of hiding, wants to see him before he lets go of Alec. Jared feels it, hears the mad ramblings in his head. White is obsessed. Obsessed with him and Jared can’t do anything but sit there and watch.

It hurts. And then it’s gone, flooded with every other emotion around Jared.

He can barely keep himself from giving in to the darkness beckoning. It’s not an option. He fights, grabs on to Max and tries to focus. It’s overwhelming, all these thoughts and emotions, all these people thinking and feeling. He can’t single just one out, can’t hold on to just his own thoughts.

And then he just tries, pushes through the pain, gags at the bile rising in his throat. He pushes, searches, reaches out and just grasps onto the first thing, the first solid emotion he can find.

The first thing he latches on to is White. White’s thoughts are frantic, violent but clear. Jared can hold on to them, attach himself to them and focus.

Jared’s not sure what exactly he is doing; only know that it buy them enough time, might distract White enough. He doesn’t even know if it will work, if he even can do what he’s planning.

Then he just reaches out again, sends all he gets back the same way. He closes his eyes, fights the pain, and fights the darkness. It’s all he can do, all he can focus on.

Jared doesn’t know how long he sits there, how long he has his mind so wide open that everyone and everything could just rush in and take every piece of him that there is. He doesn’t know.

The cold seeps in slowly, through his jeans where he is kneeling in the snow. He can’t feel his hands, sees them clutching the snow, white knuckled and blue. There is light now. Not the sun but light. Flashlights.

There is something warm trickling down his face. It’s confusing, distracting and Jared looks down.

Red. Everything is red. Dripping into the white snow. Snow - white like the tiles at home -covered with splatters of blood. So much red.

He can’t…. nothing makes sense. He can’t focus, can’t think. Doesn’t feel anything or anyone in his mind. There is nothing. Nothing.

Nothing.

“Jared?”

His head snaps up, fast and painful. Is it possible?

“Alec?” His voice is shot to hell, like he has been screaming for hours, which he might have. There are tears streaming down his face and it takes a while until his eyes focus again.

Alec is right there, kneeling in front of him, clutching his shoulder. Blood, there is blood again. Too much red and Jared doesn’t know what to do. Feels trapped, paralyzed. Helpless. Like before, like with his family.

Again now, with Alec. He can’t help, can’t do anything.

“Jared. Shhh... It’s okay. Not my blood. It’s not my blood. I promise.” Alec is there, close, alive. Alec is alive.

Jared reaches out, touches Alec, grabs on to Alec’s jacket. He needs the contact now, needs to feel Alec. Jared surges forward.

The kiss is almost frantic enough to hurt. It’s reassurance and it’s grounding him in reality, helps him not to give in to the overwhelming need to just close his eyes and let go. He needs to be strong for Alec, needs to be awake, to make sure that Alec is okay.

“You okay? White... where... where is he?” Jared just looks in to deep pools of green and knows that Alec is indeed okay.

“’M good. Just bumped my shoulder. Still a little woozy on the drugs. White… well… Out for the count. Your freaky brain powers brought him down.” It’s only them now, Max and Logan are close, Jared can feel them but they leave them alone.

“I... I did that?”

“Yeah, seems like it. Max said you zoned out. White blacked out, crashed down. Max thinks you fried his brain, send his own emotions back at him. I guess that's about right. His own men, well his former man have taken him now. No idea what it’s about but it’s government business. I am not asking.”

Alec shuffles closer, winces a bit and Jared just hugs him to his body, trembling with exhaustion, cold and adrenaline. He’ll crash soon, he knows it, feels it slowly creeping up on him. But as long as he’s still awake he won’t let go of Alec again. At least not this night and maybe not even tomorrow.

“What... what did he want? Who? Who told him?” Jared mumbles into Alec’s skin, moving so that he almost is in Alec’s lap. There is a hand combing though his hair, soothing not only him but his mind as well. He feels himself calm down, wrapped in soothing thoughts and gestures.

“I’ll tell you later, Jay. I promise.”

Jared nods, wants to say something and then remembers what Alec told right before he left.

“I love you, too.”

*****

Epilogue: a few months later

The sun is hot, making it almost unbearable to be anywhere near the top of TC. Jared loves it though. It reminds him of Texas, of the heat and the summers spend there.

The sun chair stands right in the middle of the roof, under an umbrella and right next to a kid’s swimming pool.

Jared smiles at the sight of it and at Alec trying to hide the cooler behind his back.

It’s supposed to be a surprise but Joshua just couldn’t keep it to himself. It’s Jared's birthday and he has been through surprises all day long and he’s been anxious to see Alec. There had been a Council meeting, so Alec had been gone all day.

Jared had expected a romantic dinner, had prepared himself to mock Alec relentlessly for it. This, though, isn’t what he had expected. It’s so much better.

“Beach party.” Alec grins wide and bright. He looks happy. It’s a sight Jared loves and sometimes still has trouble getting used to. “Happy Birthday, Jay.”

Things are good, hard and taxing because they are back in Terminal City, but they are good. White’s still wherever they brought him, the Council is willing to work closer with the Transgenics and Jared finally is a real part of it all.

“Cool. Is that beer?”

“Dude, you are 18 not 21. No beer for you. I have water.” Alec laughs and Jared knows there will be some beer for him later. He takes a step closer, curls his hand around Alec’s neck and draws him in.

“Hi,” he says before he kisses Alec. “Have been waiting to do that the whole day.”

“Hmmmm... Hi yourself.” Alec kisses back, wraps his arms around Jared and sways a little in the breeze. It’s good. It feels right. “What did you do the whole day?”

“Sketching. Drawing. Now that I have school applications to finish.” Jared smiles. It’s a plan they have been talking about for a while now. Leaving TC for a chance for Jared to go to school. Nothing is set yet though. They still have the whole summer to decide, to plan, to find a place.

Jared sometimes misses the cabin. The silence there. The way things were. He’s better now with blocking people - emotions - out. He even lets Alec sleep for most nights. It’s not all dealt and done with but Jared knows he’s on a good way. He still needs the solace of his loft, the chance to get away from everything from time to time.

Max has been surprisingly supportive of them, but considering what she saw back in the mountains Jared thinks she’s happy about it all. And he thinks Logan has a lot to do with it. She even lets Alec off sometimes, lets them have their time and doesn’t press for Alec to take over more responsibilities.

Jared is helping around TC now, too. Goes on missions with Alec or Max. Most of the times though he tries to find his path in life.

“Sketching... anything in particular?”

Jared laughs, flops down onto the sun chair and drags Alec with him. “Naw… just you know, a portrait. Green eyes, luscious lips that are made for blowjobs, spiky hair… I like the hair cut by the way.”

“Luscious lips? Oh come on…”

It’s nice just lying there with Alec close, despite the heat and the sun burning down on them. He likes it warm, knows that Alec does, too.

“And… I talked to Suma again.”

“How is she?” Alec sounds cautious and Jared can’t blame him. It’s still a sore topic for him.

“Better. Still so very sorry. Tries to make it up to me and... I... I don’t know how to deal with that sometimes... how to make her understand that I have forgiven her.” Jared sighs, rests his head in top of Alec’s.

“It’ll take time. She’s beating herself up over it enough.”

“I get her though.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” Jared sighs. “I… just thinking about it. Maybe I’d done the same. My lover, the one I love more than life, captured and threatened... Yeah, what would I care for the life of a boy I barely know and who has freaky powers? I get it... I... if it was you… I...” Alec silences him with a kiss.

“Yeah. Me, too.” And Jared knows Alec means it.

Yeah, they would do anything for each other. Jared wonders when they reached that point and then just smiles into Alec’s hair. Alec is family now, just like Max, Logan Joshua and a lot of the others are. Jared has found a new family, a new life, a new home. It's been a long way and he'll never forget it.

But he has Alec now.

They are good.

He is good.

He is finally home.