your mother didn't want you.
i don't know how i think i can just bury my head in these books and forget about you. i start to read but the words just look like mixed letters and blur in a matter of seconds. it's that same feeling i get everytime. longs constrict, heart pumps slow and heavy, my head starts pounding. i'm not getting enough air, and i keep breathing in your lies. it's disgusting how much i let you walk on me, and it's disgusting how much i care for you.
the moment you landed i could feel it. i knew exactly when it was. my world got that much smaller and i could not go anywhere without seeing your shadow. you see, you destroy me; and there is nothing i can even do right now but swallow this fear and wait for that phone to ring where i will tell you what i saw and you will call me crazy. i'm tired of thinking there is something wrong with me when you are the one with the real disease.
you only ever stayed in that hospital because it was a roof over your head.
go away and never come back.
the moment you landed i could feel it. i knew exactly when it was. my world got that much smaller and i could not go anywhere without seeing your shadow. you see, you destroy me; and there is nothing i can even do right now but swallow this fear and wait for that phone to ring where i will tell you what i saw and you will call me crazy. i'm tired of thinking there is something wrong with me when you are the one with the real disease.
you only ever stayed in that hospital because it was a roof over your head.
go away and never come back.