Devotion
Title: Devotion
Fandom: Twincest for this one.
Summary: Benji's at a loss for memories, but proves his devotion to his brother. A quick read...
Disclaimer This is as real as the $100 bills in my back pocket. Except I'm dead broke.
The first time it happens Joel is pretty sure he scares the fuck out of his brother. The first touch of his silken hands on Benji’s skin leaves him stiffening and a tiny sound of an emotion Joel has yet to place fills the air. But Joel can’t help himself. He can’t stop after he gets the first taste. Never has been able too. He strips Benji down to nothing, begs him for it. “Just this once, you don’t understand. You don’t remember.” He pleads until his brother finally gives in. His tongue swipes along Benji’s skin with a meaningful curiosity and dominance he almost forgot about and even if Benji is quiet the entire time, Joel watches his face. He can tell Benji likes it too. Even though he knows Benji doesn’t get it yet. It’s the small things that he used to do that he does now subconsciously that proves it. Things Benji wouldn’t even know he’s doing. Things that give Joel hope.
Joel needs to feel his brother. Ever since the accident, he’s wanted to make sure that Benji is there and real and okay… whatever that means, Joel has to feel it and this is the only way to know for sure. Joel has to have him. There is honestly no other way.
Because the Benji he sees and the Benji he feels are two totally separate people. In front of everyone else Benji appears stronger, better, faster, devious, in charge- the list is endless. But when Joel touches his twin, lets his fingers roam over the softness that surrounds his heart and soul, Benji is a trembling mess. With teary eyes and little whimpering noises that Joel thinks he might be addicted too. So when Joel asks Benji to take him in… Benji didn’t seem that surprised.
Joel doesn’t mind being the strong one. They’re brothers, it comes in give-and-take. When Joel is weak, Benji is there for him and when Benji is weak, Joel is there… but when they’re both weak, Joel doesn’t know what to do. So he resorts to the only thing that he’s good at. The only way he truly knows how to convey his emotions.
The sex is a roller coaster. A seemingly endless ride of unsteady ups and downs that can reach the sky with expanses that make anything possible then all plummeting lows that eat up the insides of their bodies and make them squirm with untamed emotions. Each gentle caress and stolen brush of the lips breaks the barriers Benji wasn’t even aware he had. He can’t believe he’s doing this but at the same time he can’t believe the idea hadn’t occurred to him sooner. God, does he want to remember…
But Benji is still apprehensive. He’s always a little bit scared. Joel thinks that sometimes it’s harder for Benji to let go. To allow himself to forget about the two of them being brothers and just let them be whatever they want to be. They’re two people in this world and why do they have to define themselves as something more? Does it matter where you’re from when it comes to love?
Love.
Joel’s afraid. He’s afraid that he might never hear those words come from Benji’s mouth ever again. Ever since the accident it’s like that part of Benji has just shut down. Turned off with the brain damage. Joel is done wishing that things happened differently. The reality is that Benji may never remember the passed couple of years. Things may never be how they were… he accepts that. Faith though. Joel does have faith. He believes that one day he’ll get his Benji back. One day he’s going to wake up and things will be like they were before. Before Benji lost his memory. Before Benji forgot all about him and about what they became.
But to Benji, that before doesn’t exist.
So the first time Joel touches Benji, his body stiffens and he squeaks. The first time Joel begs his brother to fuck him, Benji nearly shuts down. But even Benji can’t deny Joel anything he really wants. He’s always been like that and whatever Joel is talking about, all this talk about before and what he needs, Benji will give it to him. He’ll do anything.
It may scare him, but Benji believes Joel and more than that, trusts Joel. If Joel needs something, who is he to say no? And he won’t say no to Joel. Joel tells him about how they used to be and Benji takes it all in. Tries to understand. He tries to.
Touching Joel and kissing Joel and feeling Joel is strangely erotic, yet scary. Frightening more than anything else Benji’s ever done, yet intensely satisfying. When Joel is fucking himself on Benji’s cock telling Benji how much he loves him, Benji can’t say it back. Can’t say anything. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling but he knows it isn’t love. He knows what love is. He knows what he should feel. And that’s not what he’s feeling. This isn’t love. At least he doesn’t think it is.
This is devotion. Is devotion love?
Joel wraps him up in his arms and tells Benji that he’ll wait. He’ll wait forever and then he apologizes endlessly for doing this to him. He says he should have waited longer, that he should have done the right thing. Benji shushes him with a sigh. He’s thankful that Joel can read him so well because he really thinks that he needs to sleep on this one.
They fall asleep in a mess of sweat and come covered stomachs. I came, Benji thinks and god does that scare him. He still unsure. Still doesn’t understand. But he’s trying.
For Joel…
This is devotion.
Please leave a comment.
Fandom: Twincest for this one.
Summary: Benji's at a loss for memories, but proves his devotion to his brother. A quick read...
Disclaimer This is as real as the $100 bills in my back pocket. Except I'm dead broke.
The first time it happens Joel is pretty sure he scares the fuck out of his brother. The first touch of his silken hands on Benji’s skin leaves him stiffening and a tiny sound of an emotion Joel has yet to place fills the air. But Joel can’t help himself. He can’t stop after he gets the first taste. Never has been able too. He strips Benji down to nothing, begs him for it. “Just this once, you don’t understand. You don’t remember.” He pleads until his brother finally gives in. His tongue swipes along Benji’s skin with a meaningful curiosity and dominance he almost forgot about and even if Benji is quiet the entire time, Joel watches his face. He can tell Benji likes it too. Even though he knows Benji doesn’t get it yet. It’s the small things that he used to do that he does now subconsciously that proves it. Things Benji wouldn’t even know he’s doing. Things that give Joel hope.
Joel needs to feel his brother. Ever since the accident, he’s wanted to make sure that Benji is there and real and okay… whatever that means, Joel has to feel it and this is the only way to know for sure. Joel has to have him. There is honestly no other way.
Because the Benji he sees and the Benji he feels are two totally separate people. In front of everyone else Benji appears stronger, better, faster, devious, in charge- the list is endless. But when Joel touches his twin, lets his fingers roam over the softness that surrounds his heart and soul, Benji is a trembling mess. With teary eyes and little whimpering noises that Joel thinks he might be addicted too. So when Joel asks Benji to take him in… Benji didn’t seem that surprised.
Joel doesn’t mind being the strong one. They’re brothers, it comes in give-and-take. When Joel is weak, Benji is there for him and when Benji is weak, Joel is there… but when they’re both weak, Joel doesn’t know what to do. So he resorts to the only thing that he’s good at. The only way he truly knows how to convey his emotions.
The sex is a roller coaster. A seemingly endless ride of unsteady ups and downs that can reach the sky with expanses that make anything possible then all plummeting lows that eat up the insides of their bodies and make them squirm with untamed emotions. Each gentle caress and stolen brush of the lips breaks the barriers Benji wasn’t even aware he had. He can’t believe he’s doing this but at the same time he can’t believe the idea hadn’t occurred to him sooner. God, does he want to remember…
But Benji is still apprehensive. He’s always a little bit scared. Joel thinks that sometimes it’s harder for Benji to let go. To allow himself to forget about the two of them being brothers and just let them be whatever they want to be. They’re two people in this world and why do they have to define themselves as something more? Does it matter where you’re from when it comes to love?
Love.
Joel’s afraid. He’s afraid that he might never hear those words come from Benji’s mouth ever again. Ever since the accident it’s like that part of Benji has just shut down. Turned off with the brain damage. Joel is done wishing that things happened differently. The reality is that Benji may never remember the passed couple of years. Things may never be how they were… he accepts that. Faith though. Joel does have faith. He believes that one day he’ll get his Benji back. One day he’s going to wake up and things will be like they were before. Before Benji lost his memory. Before Benji forgot all about him and about what they became.
But to Benji, that before doesn’t exist.
So the first time Joel touches Benji, his body stiffens and he squeaks. The first time Joel begs his brother to fuck him, Benji nearly shuts down. But even Benji can’t deny Joel anything he really wants. He’s always been like that and whatever Joel is talking about, all this talk about before and what he needs, Benji will give it to him. He’ll do anything.
It may scare him, but Benji believes Joel and more than that, trusts Joel. If Joel needs something, who is he to say no? And he won’t say no to Joel. Joel tells him about how they used to be and Benji takes it all in. Tries to understand. He tries to.
Touching Joel and kissing Joel and feeling Joel is strangely erotic, yet scary. Frightening more than anything else Benji’s ever done, yet intensely satisfying. When Joel is fucking himself on Benji’s cock telling Benji how much he loves him, Benji can’t say it back. Can’t say anything. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling but he knows it isn’t love. He knows what love is. He knows what he should feel. And that’s not what he’s feeling. This isn’t love. At least he doesn’t think it is.
This is devotion. Is devotion love?
Joel wraps him up in his arms and tells Benji that he’ll wait. He’ll wait forever and then he apologizes endlessly for doing this to him. He says he should have waited longer, that he should have done the right thing. Benji shushes him with a sigh. He’s thankful that Joel can read him so well because he really thinks that he needs to sleep on this one.
They fall asleep in a mess of sweat and come covered stomachs. I came, Benji thinks and god does that scare him. He still unsure. Still doesn’t understand. But he’s trying.
For Joel…
This is devotion.
Please leave a comment.