(no subject)
It feels like millions of things and people and places exploding and latching onto my skin, then peicing together to crawl into my brain through my ears, making a home on the soft spots and going for jogs on their good days to remind me their still healthy and happy to live where they live and they'll never put their homes up for rent because their comfortable in my mushy pink brain. Their trying to convince me they are the things I want. Thats okay though cause we all advertise a little. I think? And maybe their right, but I don't know it yet. I keep trying to trust my senses. Anyway, I let them jog I guess because sometimes their pleasing...really really pleasing, even promising, a few even inspiring and cozy. But then again they can evenly feel like litter. Litter that clogs my eyes from seeing the things I really want to see, or the things I'd rather see, and the litter that clogs my ears from hearing my heart or hearing the sincerity in what other people are really saying. I accept that though. I accept the negatives but I just keep thinking maybe these things aren't really litter and their just an excuse I use when I choose to ignore myself cause it's easier and probobly more logical. I should probobly stop taking 10 steps forward only to take 5 back. But It's better than not moving. I just feel sorry sometimes for the people who know me and have to deal with this part of me. It's not really consistent. It's a sometimes feeling. But when it comes around I hate it. It's a flaw, but I'm trying.