(no subject)
why right now. this wasn't supposed to happen at all, nevermind now. everything is falling apart this last past week and i've been trying to deal with it and make the best of it, but now i see that i can't because right now i'm alone. and i am a horrible friend and i don't deserve anything but pain and misery and worry, which is what i'm full of right now. and i don't deserve anything better because i just don't for what i did and didn't do. and i know that and i'm sorry. i can't do anything but say i'm sorry and i feel like shit because of it. i understand why at least some things are falling apart. and that is completely 100% because of my dumb judgement, a horrible mistake i made, and my bad abiblity to be a best friend to someone, but the other things, i just don't get it why they are happening. right now all i want to do is crawl in a hole and never come out. so since i've slept till 1245 today, i might as well just go back to sleep for the whole day. ehh why not make it the whole vacation. i'm sorry. i really truely am. i just want you to know that. and i can't change what i did and everything is my fault, i know that. so if you don't want to be friends anymore i understand, but just please, i want you to know i'm sorry and if i could change what i did, i'd do or give anything.