Oct 30, 2006 02:19
uhmmm...
haven't updated in awhile and have been busy and lazyy. im doing well in all my classes which is good but i have a lot of tests coming up in the next 2 weeks which is gonna suckk. college is fun but it makes me questions things so much at times i feel i can trust no one here like when i go out at night i always have to have my guard up lately specialy after a few drinks i have been really bitchy espically towards guys who try hitting on me. lately i can;t be myself cuz at home i don't have to worry my friends are always there i can always trust here its like i don't know who to beileve specialy with my living situation when i am by myslef like all the time i mean i could careless but sometimes i would like one friends shoulder to cry on and not to leave me by the end of the night...im very blah because sat. night i had to walk by myself from indian to state by myself..at 330 am i felt so uncomfortable i was freeeezing and alone. i was like i really am alone here. i love here im having so much fun till i realize my friends leaving for guys sometimes. the guys here yea. i trust like i dunno. i want to be the nice sweetheart that i usually amm but i can;t b.c if i let my guard down im just gonna gte hurt and im not quitting and doing wellin school and i am gonna make it just i wishh i had some one this single scene here was soo much fun for the first 3 months but after seeing what crap i have found i just want that safety of a boyfriend again. i know im not gonna find it here anytime soon. i don't cound on that. but okay im not like boohoo i need a boyfriend its like yea i want one hopefully i'll meet some oneee. im not looking for forever yett im just looking for some one who will just be there for mee.yea..im tiredd after last nightt and the food here is crapp ughhh likei can't even eat it nemore it all tastes the same and makes meee sickk..greatt oo i can't wait till thanksgiving for some real foood and to be reunited with the crew and all my friends and sara's sweet 16 which is gonna be awsome i think i just need like a mental break i think i have been working to hard and worrying to much latelyy..yea on top of all of this i have to pick my classes for next semester i have no fuckin clue what i want to doo..bllahh o welll hopfully i'll find my purposee soon. but o well..im dine rambling i could talk more but im soo tireedd beyond belieff..peace out
♥ becca