(no subject)
sometimes it really feels like, all the people I love in this world and care the most about me, just don't understand me. We have so much fun together, but thats just it, just fun. I guess, nobody can understand me when there isn't a smile on my face. And when I do want to talk about whats bothering me with them, they say those oh so comforting words...
"Oh."
wow.that says alot. Then they randomly change the subject.
My best friend's boyfriend, has AIDS. why it seems that everyone close to you has to betray you or die all at once, I don't know, I just know it all happens at once, and the sun is always behind the clouds. She kept crying, I didn't try to comfort her because I knew when I was upset like that, I hated people touching me. But I'm sure she understood. Me and her, we just click.
And I miss kyle. Alot. I need to do something crazy to straighten my life out. I just need something, and I don't feel like I'm getting it from all these "friends" of mine.
some say im stubborn.
some say im crazy.
some say im difficult.
some say im stupid.
some say im guilty.
some say im hateful.
some say im lazy.
some say im ugly.
well im a little bit of everything.
and im so mad at chris cause, he was my friend, like me best friend, and i told him a bunch of crap about me. now all he wants is morgan, cause morgans pretty and morgans fun...well morgans gonna go to jail at the fuckin rate shes goin, and i dont care if thats mean, the truth hurts. i feel like all im good for to chris is so he can get with my freakin sister. and im really gonna let him know tomorrow.
oh, and by the way "dad", Johnathon Woodworth, however you wanna spell it, Im so mad at you. I cried instantly reading yours and kaynes letters and lookin at the pics, well i HATE liers more then people who make fun of other ppl, and dont exxagerate what you say, cuz i wont forgive you, and what really made me mad, what seriously made me rip up my letter and hafta tape it back together, was the fact that you never said you were sorry.
i cut myself because of you, and i hated myself, because of you. ive lost friends, gotten into fights, and hated everyone because of you. ive never called anyone dad in my entire life, and i cant just call you that, you cant just expect me love you like you say you love me, because i am so angry, and your right, you dont know me anymore.
youve missed so much of my life, i can't explain who i am to you.
your my dad.
my blood.
your supposed to know.
and you dont.
how can you just hurt me like that.
and thanks to all my friends who cared, a because you all did so fucking much.
fuck that. fuck everything. cause everything sucks right now. and i dont know what else to do. fuck.
I remember waiting
For you to come
Remember waiting
For you to call
Remember waiting there to find nothing at all
I remember waiting
For you to come
Remember waiting
For you to call
Waiting there to find nothing at all
i never wanted to read your letters john. i wanted to love you.
and i wanted you to love me.
and i dont even wanna think about it anymore.
"Oh."
wow.that says alot. Then they randomly change the subject.
My best friend's boyfriend, has AIDS. why it seems that everyone close to you has to betray you or die all at once, I don't know, I just know it all happens at once, and the sun is always behind the clouds. She kept crying, I didn't try to comfort her because I knew when I was upset like that, I hated people touching me. But I'm sure she understood. Me and her, we just click.
And I miss kyle. Alot. I need to do something crazy to straighten my life out. I just need something, and I don't feel like I'm getting it from all these "friends" of mine.
some say im stubborn.
some say im crazy.
some say im difficult.
some say im stupid.
some say im guilty.
some say im hateful.
some say im lazy.
some say im ugly.
well im a little bit of everything.
and im so mad at chris cause, he was my friend, like me best friend, and i told him a bunch of crap about me. now all he wants is morgan, cause morgans pretty and morgans fun...well morgans gonna go to jail at the fuckin rate shes goin, and i dont care if thats mean, the truth hurts. i feel like all im good for to chris is so he can get with my freakin sister. and im really gonna let him know tomorrow.
oh, and by the way "dad", Johnathon Woodworth, however you wanna spell it, Im so mad at you. I cried instantly reading yours and kaynes letters and lookin at the pics, well i HATE liers more then people who make fun of other ppl, and dont exxagerate what you say, cuz i wont forgive you, and what really made me mad, what seriously made me rip up my letter and hafta tape it back together, was the fact that you never said you were sorry.
i cut myself because of you, and i hated myself, because of you. ive lost friends, gotten into fights, and hated everyone because of you. ive never called anyone dad in my entire life, and i cant just call you that, you cant just expect me love you like you say you love me, because i am so angry, and your right, you dont know me anymore.
youve missed so much of my life, i can't explain who i am to you.
your my dad.
my blood.
your supposed to know.
and you dont.
how can you just hurt me like that.
and thanks to all my friends who cared, a because you all did so fucking much.
fuck that. fuck everything. cause everything sucks right now. and i dont know what else to do. fuck.
I remember waiting
For you to come
Remember waiting
For you to call
Remember waiting there to find nothing at all
I remember waiting
For you to come
Remember waiting
For you to call
Waiting there to find nothing at all
i never wanted to read your letters john. i wanted to love you.
and i wanted you to love me.
and i dont even wanna think about it anymore.