(no subject)
I hate this. It's so hard to deal with everyday, because I never know how I'm going to feel when I wake up. I really really really just wish things could go back to when me and James were happy together, but that just isn't going to happen and it really sucks so bad. I miss him so incredibly much, and even though we are still friends, I just don't know how much longer it's going to be before I completely fall apart. Whenever I think about him I literally get a stomach ache because I miss him so much. I just don't know what to do with myself. The past couple of days I had been doing okay, but today just isn't a good day. He came over so we could take all the pictures and stuff in my room down and we just talked and stuff. Like there's little things that I can't get over, like how we probly won't be going to prom together. We've been to every single dance together in high school, and then senior prom comes and look. I just can't get over this and I don't know how long it's going to take for me to really be over this. How am I supposed to ever love someone again when I feel like I'm never going to fall out of love with James? That is the one question I'm asking myself. It sounds so stupid, but I really thought we would always be together. I honestly couldn't picture my life without him when we were together. Now I don't know what to do with myself. And how some people still don't know that we're broken up, and today someone told me how they think me and james are going to get married. And that absolutely killed me, I'm so lame I couldn't even tell her we aren't together. I don't know how to handle this at all.