Everytime I try to fly, I fall. Without my wings, I feel so small.
I got the new Britney Spears cd today, hence the title and song for this entry. It's a pretty song on there called "Everytime", which is without a doubt a song to Justin. Boo-hoo. lol
I've felt like crying all day today. Not good. I don't want to break down, because once I start crying, I can't stop. I feel so shitty lately. My mom and I still are looking at houses and the closer to christmas it gets, the sadder I am. My last christmas ever...at my home. I hate this, I hate our government and I hate banks and I wish someone would burn it to the fukking ground.
And with my boyfriend...I've been feeling hurt lately. He's so bitchy anymore. I swear guys have pms once a month. I know he's tried from work but whenever we talk, he's irritable and annoying. He always complains about EVERYTHING. From his car to his father to his job to money...just everything. We don't have a normal conversation anymore. I know he's stressed out and I know that he's spending alot of money on me and I never asked him to. Maybe I'm just selfish or that I expect too much out of him. But yeah...I just miss the old him anymore. I'd rather take the unemployed broke Joe than this busy, grumpy one anyday.
It was snowing out tonight. Joe was freaking out because his nova is here at my house and the car cover isn't on it and he says it's going to rust now. Righhtttt.. I couldn't do nothing about it. It was pitch black outside, snowing, and I don't even know how the hell to put the car cover ON the car. I can't tell you how many times I went out there and rescued it when the wind was about to blow it down the street. Now it's in my garage....
*sigh*
Someone asked me what my friends and I do for Christmas, and I was so bitter in saying that I have no friends this year. And I don't. Aside from my cousins and my boyfriend, I have no one. I don't hang out with anyone except for Joe. Stephanie and I haven't spoken in forever and that hurts. But I didn't do anything wrong, I tried to be there for her but I just couldn't take it anymore. So I really have no friends this christmas but I have my family, and thats enough for me.
I've felt like crying all day today. Not good. I don't want to break down, because once I start crying, I can't stop. I feel so shitty lately. My mom and I still are looking at houses and the closer to christmas it gets, the sadder I am. My last christmas ever...at my home. I hate this, I hate our government and I hate banks and I wish someone would burn it to the fukking ground.
And with my boyfriend...I've been feeling hurt lately. He's so bitchy anymore. I swear guys have pms once a month. I know he's tried from work but whenever we talk, he's irritable and annoying. He always complains about EVERYTHING. From his car to his father to his job to money...just everything. We don't have a normal conversation anymore. I know he's stressed out and I know that he's spending alot of money on me and I never asked him to. Maybe I'm just selfish or that I expect too much out of him. But yeah...I just miss the old him anymore. I'd rather take the unemployed broke Joe than this busy, grumpy one anyday.
It was snowing out tonight. Joe was freaking out because his nova is here at my house and the car cover isn't on it and he says it's going to rust now. Righhtttt.. I couldn't do nothing about it. It was pitch black outside, snowing, and I don't even know how the hell to put the car cover ON the car. I can't tell you how many times I went out there and rescued it when the wind was about to blow it down the street. Now it's in my garage....
*sigh*
Someone asked me what my friends and I do for Christmas, and I was so bitter in saying that I have no friends this year. And I don't. Aside from my cousins and my boyfriend, I have no one. I don't hang out with anyone except for Joe. Stephanie and I haven't spoken in forever and that hurts. But I didn't do anything wrong, I tried to be there for her but I just couldn't take it anymore. So I really have no friends this christmas but I have my family, and thats enough for me.