girls night out
so. a girls night out is muchly needed right now. anyone want to join? stupid boys. i don't know what to do. am i stupid, or is this for real? is it me, or is it him? am i a bad girlfriend, or is he a bad boyfriend? are we meant for each other, or are we not? should we just stay friends or be friends and lovers? are we too different, or are we too alike? is he more like a brother, or more like a boyfriend? what about me? am i more like a sister or more like a girlfriend? what's happening to us.. stupid relationships. they curse me. always. i hate them. i hate having boyfriends. it never works out. maybe it's me who's not letting it work out, maybe it's not. maybe it's him, who knows. all i know for sure is that a girls night out is needed much right now. god.
we can't agree on anything anymore. he thinks i'm being more "reserved" than i was before. i can't open up to him like i used to. it feels like i always have to prove something to him when i'm with him. i don't like feeling like i need to be perfect. i like being myself, but it's hard with him for some reason. i wish everything would just go back to how it used to be. when we were best friends only. we could tell each other everything and anything, and i miss it. now it feels like somethings holding us back from it. i don't know what to do. it's possible that i make the wrong decision and regret it. that usually happens. i wish my feelings were controlable. but they're not. i don't know what to do. i just don't know.
concluding question: ARE WE MEANT TO BE?
please let me know what you think, because i'm really stuck here. i honestly don't know what to do.