(no subject)
Well, this should be quite interesting. Mom just got home, brought home by Sean... she's roaring drunk, of course. She was babbling on and on and ON, I just didn't know what to do with her. So I let her sit down on Daniel's bed, take a sip of soda, and next thing I know, she's passed out across his bed, snoring quite loudly.
I think, just because I'm just so nice, I'll leave her there for Danny boy himself when he gets home in oh.... about an hour's time? Heehee....
Me and Bill are just grand. Talking about getting our hands fastened at RenFair, if I can somehow persuade my father to let me go camp out for a weekend. Hands fastened. Wow. I can't believe we've come so far in such a small amount of time. I'm willing to hand my life over to this man! It's amazing. I love him so much.
If we don't get our hands fastened at RenFair, we are seriously talking about getting married during the summer. I'll have moved out by then, I'm out on my own, there's nothing anybody can do about it. I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life, with a man who is as devoted to me as I am to him.
Scary, isn't it?
But you know what this means? Andy is forever more forgotten. I mean, he'll never be FORGOTTEN, forgotten, but I'm over him and beyond him. He's nothing but a black scar on the white paper of my past. I mean, whenever I remember him, I'll get kind of sad, you know? He hurt me. I trusted him, I cared about him, I loved him, and he hurt me. So yeah, I'm over him, he's forgiven, and in some ways forgotten, but he'll always be that one ghost that haunts my past, you know?
A little while ago, me and Bill were discussing children in our future. Terrifying little basti'ds, they are! We're discussing them because there'salways that frightening possibility of me coming up pregnant.... we discussed what would happen then.
I refuse to get an abortion. Ever. It's not that I'm pro-life, cuz if worse came to worst, I would get one in a heartbeat. It's just.... they ruin relationships. They strain the very threads of love that bind a man and woman together, and nine times out of ten, those fragile threads end up breaking. What I have with Bill, I never want to lose. Ever. I don't want to risk that by getting an abortion. I know if I did, I'd be so depressed for weeks on end, which would stress Bill out immensely. I would most definately cling to him to save my life, and I just don't want to lose him, you know?
And I'm never giving anything up for adoption. If I'm going to carry a child to term and give birth to it, I'm not gonna just hand that little pain in my ass over to some people who are too fucked up not to have them. That's just to spite right there. I'm not gonna go through all that pain and suffering and money spending just to give it to somebody else who didn't have to!! Grr!
The only thing left is to have the child.... which would be painful, annoying, expensive as all hell, among other things... but then again, right now? Nothing would make me happier than to give Bill a child. Give him a son. Or maybe daughters.... he has a pair of twin daughters in Florida... they're ten years old right now... a friend of his saw them when they were like four... said they looked just like his mother. It hurt him, but he doesn't want to meet them, because then he would want to get to know them. They're ten years old, they believe the man their mother married is their father, and he's not going to go in and throw their lives into utter mayhem now. But I want to give him children. He would make an outstanding father, just as he says I would a mother.
Maybe it's just my nurturing nature. *Shrugs* All I know is I want a child for him and me. I am positive it would make things heaven for us.
Just wait until I've got a job and I'm settled in first!!! *Agony*
*Sigh* Okay. That's about it. Not much else. I have job shadowing Monday morning at A.C. Collins Ford, and that is about it.
I'll babble at you people later. I'm off to talk to the love of my life. 'Night....
I think, just because I'm just so nice, I'll leave her there for Danny boy himself when he gets home in oh.... about an hour's time? Heehee....
Me and Bill are just grand. Talking about getting our hands fastened at RenFair, if I can somehow persuade my father to let me go camp out for a weekend. Hands fastened. Wow. I can't believe we've come so far in such a small amount of time. I'm willing to hand my life over to this man! It's amazing. I love him so much.
If we don't get our hands fastened at RenFair, we are seriously talking about getting married during the summer. I'll have moved out by then, I'm out on my own, there's nothing anybody can do about it. I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life, with a man who is as devoted to me as I am to him.
Scary, isn't it?
But you know what this means? Andy is forever more forgotten. I mean, he'll never be FORGOTTEN, forgotten, but I'm over him and beyond him. He's nothing but a black scar on the white paper of my past. I mean, whenever I remember him, I'll get kind of sad, you know? He hurt me. I trusted him, I cared about him, I loved him, and he hurt me. So yeah, I'm over him, he's forgiven, and in some ways forgotten, but he'll always be that one ghost that haunts my past, you know?
A little while ago, me and Bill were discussing children in our future. Terrifying little basti'ds, they are! We're discussing them because there'salways that frightening possibility of me coming up pregnant.... we discussed what would happen then.
I refuse to get an abortion. Ever. It's not that I'm pro-life, cuz if worse came to worst, I would get one in a heartbeat. It's just.... they ruin relationships. They strain the very threads of love that bind a man and woman together, and nine times out of ten, those fragile threads end up breaking. What I have with Bill, I never want to lose. Ever. I don't want to risk that by getting an abortion. I know if I did, I'd be so depressed for weeks on end, which would stress Bill out immensely. I would most definately cling to him to save my life, and I just don't want to lose him, you know?
And I'm never giving anything up for adoption. If I'm going to carry a child to term and give birth to it, I'm not gonna just hand that little pain in my ass over to some people who are too fucked up not to have them. That's just to spite right there. I'm not gonna go through all that pain and suffering and money spending just to give it to somebody else who didn't have to!! Grr!
The only thing left is to have the child.... which would be painful, annoying, expensive as all hell, among other things... but then again, right now? Nothing would make me happier than to give Bill a child. Give him a son. Or maybe daughters.... he has a pair of twin daughters in Florida... they're ten years old right now... a friend of his saw them when they were like four... said they looked just like his mother. It hurt him, but he doesn't want to meet them, because then he would want to get to know them. They're ten years old, they believe the man their mother married is their father, and he's not going to go in and throw their lives into utter mayhem now. But I want to give him children. He would make an outstanding father, just as he says I would a mother.
Maybe it's just my nurturing nature. *Shrugs* All I know is I want a child for him and me. I am positive it would make things heaven for us.
Just wait until I've got a job and I'm settled in first!!! *Agony*
*Sigh* Okay. That's about it. Not much else. I have job shadowing Monday morning at A.C. Collins Ford, and that is about it.
I'll babble at you people later. I'm off to talk to the love of my life. 'Night....