emotionaly unstable

[x0x_hotkiss_x0x]

I have been really unhappy lately. im coming to realize a lot about people around me and who they really are and who they really care about. im learning a lot about my self too in that im very different from them. It seems that i am much more emotional then the rest of my friends and that i seem to care about our friendship a shit load more then they do. A couple of weeks ago i lost one of my best friends when i came to realize that she really wasn't my best friend and now my other friends are slipping away -or thats how it feels to me. It really pisses me off because they are always saying shit that im not fun and that i dont know how to have a good time and all this shit but i cant help it if i have somewhat of a conscience- its like they only fuckin call me to see if i know anything thats goin on. and they dont ever wanna chill w. me ne more so im feelin down over that...i really dont care about the friend that i lost bc it shows me that we will never be close again but i do care about my other friends who are becoming best friends with "backstabber"...putting this shit on livejournal is probably gonna bite me in the ass but i guess that this is what its for--venting

boys of course suck and i hate them all but what else is new? im really sick of having to deal with all their bullshit time and time again, im just going around in circles...i need to find a nice guy who doesn't only care about gettin in my pants

hmm..musical is thursday! and it seem as though we dont even have a show yet! its in less then a week and we haven't done a full run through so im totally freeking out...thats what we plan to get done tomorrow in rehearsal

i need to get some sleep