(no subject)
So, today I had a partial breakdown in Church. I have said this before, but I am so tired of things falling back on me that I can't do anything about. I have searched high and low for my Visiting Teaching notebook that I had all my information for the past, almost, year in. I have yet to find it. Believe me, I would do nearly anything to find this book, because it's not limited to Visiting Teaching. I also have snippets of family history in there, and I have been racking my brain as to where it could be. And, I do not say any of the following things to blame anyone, I only say them to help you understand my frustration. I used to give my numbers to the RS President every month. It had become a routine, and so I had just made it a common thing to report to her on the first week of every month. Well, her life got busy, so she decided to do only the mandatory once a quarter report. Sadly, not long after we stopped reporting monthly was when I lost my folder, so the Presidency has had none of my reports within the past 3 months. I am responsible for over 250 women on my own. So, the past 3 months of these accounts are now gone. As I said, I let the President know that I lost my book so that I could get new information. Three weeks past, each week, she told me that she didn't get it done that week and that she would get them next week. Well, at the end of that 3 weeks, the Relief Society Presidency was completely re-organized. So, here we are in week 4. The new President did not have all the information, yet, so I determined that I would be okay to wait a week instead of flustering the new President even further. So, I did that. I got a list of the routes last week, and have been spending this past week re-organizing everything in my system and trying to sort it all back out. I have been keeping track of the women who have reported their Visiting Teaching, but I did not have the chance to call all the others, because I did not yet have everything organized.
So, what happens today? At the end of sacrament meeting, the ward clerk approaches me.
"You're in charge of the Visiting Teaching, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am."
"Well, I need the numbers to send in to Salk Lake."
So, I just kind of stood there for a moment, because I wasn't notified that this was the end of the quarter and that they would be needing them.
"Well, I lost my folder, and it took over a month to get my information back, which only happened last week, and I haven't gotten everything organized, yet. I don't have them." I was half in tears at this point.
"Well, I don't know what to tell you. I have to have them today!" And, he walked away.
So, I went out to the side foyer, where Chris was luckily standing and just cried for a few minutes. I am so frustrated with the lack of communication and cooperation in our Ward, and the morning had been a frustrating one already. This was simply the breaking point. He notified me that it is the clerk's job to go to the Relief Society Presidency for those numbers and that he never should have confronted me like that. And that all that will happen if he does not turn them in is that Salt Lake will call, and we can turn them in next week. I accept partial blame for this, because I probably should have done more the past week, but I put several hours into the organization, and had I known that the numbers were due, I could have gotten them.
I am also a Primary Teacher, so I accordingly went to my class and then to Primary meeting. Hardly anyone was at Church today, so there was no way to even guess at a number. I would rather have a correct number a week late than a severe guess on time, and I'm sure the Church would to. So, as soon as I got into the Relief Society room, a member of the Bishopric found me to let me know that the clerk was looking for me.
I told him my reasoning. What else was I supposed to do? I have gone to him directly for an abbreviated address/phone number list so that I could work with something on my Visiting Teaching when I wasn't getting things elsewhere. And, what did I get from him then? That he was not authorized to give me a list. Can't any member get a directory? Let alone, one with a calling like this? I mentioned it to the Presidency, to see if it would be easier for her to just mention it to him than do all the other work, and I could at least go from there. Well, that did not happen, either. I don't know what some of these people expect me to do. I really don't.
Then, I got questioned as to why I did not have the Visiting Teaching message from the Ensign printed out, so that these people "could actually do their Visiting Teaching". I do these for people as favors, and because I care. I expressly got the keys to do such a thing, but, once again, someone had taken the Ensign from the Library. In fact, after inspection, I learned that the only Ensign we have so far for this year is March. We had all of the Friend, and no New Eras. Ladies ... I do everything that I possibly can to help you. I can't do your Visiting Teaching for you. You have to make some effort.
I'm sorry to whine so much, but I'm just honestly frustrated, and I needed to vent it somewhere. I'm not going to mention it to any random people in my Ward, because it will just get around eventually that I hate everyone or that I'm going to leave the Church. Such things have honestly happened before. This is BY FAR not the case. I am not blaming anyone. I respect the Clerk for his insistance on getting things done, and I understand the Relief Society President's forgetfulness with everything being shuffled. It is simply frustrating, because there are so many people in that ward that don't do their jobs. And, I really try to do mine, but if I ever falter, it feels as if the weight of the Ward falls on my shoulders. I'm not giving up on my callings. I'm not giving up on anyone. I'm not even frustrated with any person. I'm just frustrated in general.
So, what happens today? At the end of sacrament meeting, the ward clerk approaches me.
"You're in charge of the Visiting Teaching, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am."
"Well, I need the numbers to send in to Salk Lake."
So, I just kind of stood there for a moment, because I wasn't notified that this was the end of the quarter and that they would be needing them.
"Well, I lost my folder, and it took over a month to get my information back, which only happened last week, and I haven't gotten everything organized, yet. I don't have them." I was half in tears at this point.
"Well, I don't know what to tell you. I have to have them today!" And, he walked away.
So, I went out to the side foyer, where Chris was luckily standing and just cried for a few minutes. I am so frustrated with the lack of communication and cooperation in our Ward, and the morning had been a frustrating one already. This was simply the breaking point. He notified me that it is the clerk's job to go to the Relief Society Presidency for those numbers and that he never should have confronted me like that. And that all that will happen if he does not turn them in is that Salt Lake will call, and we can turn them in next week. I accept partial blame for this, because I probably should have done more the past week, but I put several hours into the organization, and had I known that the numbers were due, I could have gotten them.
I am also a Primary Teacher, so I accordingly went to my class and then to Primary meeting. Hardly anyone was at Church today, so there was no way to even guess at a number. I would rather have a correct number a week late than a severe guess on time, and I'm sure the Church would to. So, as soon as I got into the Relief Society room, a member of the Bishopric found me to let me know that the clerk was looking for me.
I told him my reasoning. What else was I supposed to do? I have gone to him directly for an abbreviated address/phone number list so that I could work with something on my Visiting Teaching when I wasn't getting things elsewhere. And, what did I get from him then? That he was not authorized to give me a list. Can't any member get a directory? Let alone, one with a calling like this? I mentioned it to the Presidency, to see if it would be easier for her to just mention it to him than do all the other work, and I could at least go from there. Well, that did not happen, either. I don't know what some of these people expect me to do. I really don't.
Then, I got questioned as to why I did not have the Visiting Teaching message from the Ensign printed out, so that these people "could actually do their Visiting Teaching". I do these for people as favors, and because I care. I expressly got the keys to do such a thing, but, once again, someone had taken the Ensign from the Library. In fact, after inspection, I learned that the only Ensign we have so far for this year is March. We had all of the Friend, and no New Eras. Ladies ... I do everything that I possibly can to help you. I can't do your Visiting Teaching for you. You have to make some effort.
I'm sorry to whine so much, but I'm just honestly frustrated, and I needed to vent it somewhere. I'm not going to mention it to any random people in my Ward, because it will just get around eventually that I hate everyone or that I'm going to leave the Church. Such things have honestly happened before. This is BY FAR not the case. I am not blaming anyone. I respect the Clerk for his insistance on getting things done, and I understand the Relief Society President's forgetfulness with everything being shuffled. It is simply frustrating, because there are so many people in that ward that don't do their jobs. And, I really try to do mine, but if I ever falter, it feels as if the weight of the Ward falls on my shoulders. I'm not giving up on my callings. I'm not giving up on anyone. I'm not even frustrated with any person. I'm just frustrated in general.