(no subject)
Today was just another shitty day, Im not really sure why im so miserable.
The boy I like doesnt even know I like him. I dont think it'd matter if he knew anyways, nothing would grow from it. I hate it because we talk all the time and mess around jokingly and stuff and he makes me smile! But of coursent nothing good can come. Not a relationship anyways. I have grreat friends Katie, Em, and Ryan. They are all there for me when i need them and i love them to death for it. This year is so extremely different. I dont hang out with all the people i did, for the better i think. When i did hang out with them i was always our drinking and smoking and stuff. Im glad ive changed my life around, but now i feel like im having barely any fun. Im not going back to that horrible life style im just saying it was funner then. But all that bad shit made me a bad person, i was horrible lying and stuff, i wasnt able to trust anyone i hung out with. Now that i have real friends i actually KNOW the meaning of friendship, i thank all 3 of my friends for being here for me and loving me as much as i love you all. :)
Today i did do a horrible thing tho, i took a hit of a cigarette for the first time in months. Im ashamed of it, but it felt pretty dang good. Im not going back to that i dont want to die of lung cancer or any other kind of sickness those damn things can bring to a person. It was a one time only thing, and i know i can live w/o them seems how ive done it for months!
Hopefully my life becomes more joyful! Please pray:)
--*Whitney*--