Lame
Something small like who my "friends" tag in a note in Facebook really makes me feel very disconnected. And sad. I don't know why, but I guess it hurts to see that I'm not included in a lot anymore, and the notes helped me realize it. I barely know if my friends have plans, and I talk to barely any of them anymore. Like I said in my last few entries, I'm feeling really lonely.
Lately, I've been in such an emo mood. I think I've said that in posts already.
I think I was genuinely happy when I last hung out with Abigail and when I spend Sunday shopping with my mom.
And I can't wait for Friday because I'm finally going to see Elana after weeks.
I hate feeling like I have nobody to relate to in school. I feel like I'm pushing myself away from everyone.
One good thing that happened today was when I had a substitute in chemistry. Sure, I missed having Mr. Heinz because he's definitely my favorite teacher, but this guy, Mr. Weiss, instantly became my favorite substitute. He definitely made me think a lot about life, and he also made me laugh loads during that long double period.
And right after that, came my stupid in-class essay. I failed it.
And right now, I feel like crawling into a hole and staying there.
I need to talk to someone about this, and this Livejournal is all I have right now.
I hate myself so much right now.
I'm in one of those 'dark' times in my life again. It's second semester, it's the middle of winter, I feel like I'm losing all my friends, and I can't seem to be happy anymore.
Depression?
If I were the one to prescribe it to myself, it can't be that, right?
The last time I remember that I was like this was back in 7th or 8th grade. I never want to go back to that. The time where my group of friends was tagged the 'emo' girls who cut themselves and were anorexic. I was definitely happy with my friends, but everything else..eh.
Lately, I've been in such an emo mood. I think I've said that in posts already.
I think I was genuinely happy when I last hung out with Abigail and when I spend Sunday shopping with my mom.
And I can't wait for Friday because I'm finally going to see Elana after weeks.
I hate feeling like I have nobody to relate to in school. I feel like I'm pushing myself away from everyone.
One good thing that happened today was when I had a substitute in chemistry. Sure, I missed having Mr. Heinz because he's definitely my favorite teacher, but this guy, Mr. Weiss, instantly became my favorite substitute. He definitely made me think a lot about life, and he also made me laugh loads during that long double period.
And right after that, came my stupid in-class essay. I failed it.
And right now, I feel like crawling into a hole and staying there.
I need to talk to someone about this, and this Livejournal is all I have right now.
I hate myself so much right now.
I'm in one of those 'dark' times in my life again. It's second semester, it's the middle of winter, I feel like I'm losing all my friends, and I can't seem to be happy anymore.
Depression?
If I were the one to prescribe it to myself, it can't be that, right?
The last time I remember that I was like this was back in 7th or 8th grade. I never want to go back to that. The time where my group of friends was tagged the 'emo' girls who cut themselves and were anorexic. I was definitely happy with my friends, but everything else..eh.