Updatee.
Well well well.. i havent updated this thing in foreverr! Things have been going really well for me, in some cases. the job situation turned out good. i love my job @ the daycare. the people i work with are amazing, i love my boss & the job itself is incredible. im really glad it turned out for me. school has been okay, stressful & nerve wrecking.. knowing im going to be graduating really soon scares the piss out of me. David & i however are incredible like always.. he was having problems @ home and well one thing lead to another and welll -- right after christmas he moved in with me. its been good having him here these last couple months. i love it. it was something i had to get used to & if he ever considered leaving to go back home it would be hard on me too. i know he's happier, all his "friends" told me. and with "friends" i mean people he used to talk with. he recently pushed his friends out of his life & i really havent figured out the full reason why that is? he told me im his bestfriend & all he needs? i dont get it. i saw amanda the other day. that was interesting,.. were not the same. were two totally differfent people. we used to say that was the strength that made us so close. boy; i was wrong. our lives are awkwardly different, we could never be the way we were. i do miss it though. ive been down about it for awhile now, and it just started getting me depressed all over agian. its not like i dont have the good bestfriends i have now, dont get me wrong i love all my friends with a passion. but amanda -- she was like my sister, closer to me then any one i know so its kind of hard. i not only lost my bestfriend, i lost my sister, and the other half of me. its hard getting used to it. i know shes happy & I've told her time after time thats all i ever wanted from her. i wish i could go back & never let her go. something about all this has been eating me alive & i have no way of explaining it to her. i really wish i could -- even though its pointless becasue she probably doesnt care. theres not much i can do about it. i will tell you this though -- if i had one wish, id wish for her back. i really do miss her. alot. on another note; rachel "trojan woman" afelt has been a remarkable friend & im very thankful for having her in my life. she's made things so much better for me. i love her to death & more. jordan & i.. well we arent as close as we were but that doesnt mean were not friends. we are.. were still best's but its just more complicated with both of us being in a relationship. jeff & i were amazingly close until rach & him broke up and it sort of destroyed us.. paul?? welll.. alot about him.. hes my brother. its plain and simple. hes my other half & i love him more then anything. id kill or die for him. when something goes wrong he is the first person i turn to and with out him in my life i honestly dont know where i would be right now. its amazing how one person could mean so much to you. i just enrolled in college last week. its a scary thought.. college. daivd & i discussed our futures together.. about marriage & everything. its going to be great <3