Lets rearrage, i wish you were a stranger i could disengage
Soooo things have been bothering me lately and i think its time for a venting session.
I`m in love with a boy, he`s leaving me July 13th. && I`m really distraught about this whole thing, I know when he leaves i`m going to be a mess for a long time and i guess thats just whats going to happen. but i just want to know whats going to happen, i`ll never know, i`ll never know what we could have had and what the future had instore for us. It`s just like alright its over. && there is nothing i can do. it`s not your average breakup. It`s just left on standby, just turned off the switch. It really hurts me becuase this is the boy i love, the first boy i loved. i`m having alot of mixed feelings because i dont know whether to just go on being with him and pretending hes not leaving and just having a good time & stuff, or to just stop now to see if it makes things easier. i know it seems wierd and im probably not doing the right thing, but i just wish i had someone to give me some advice a opinon from the outside. if i had things my way he wouldnt leave and we would be together, but thats not how its working. our days together are limited and i hate that. I HATE knowing that on July 13th anything could happen & noone knows whats going to happen when we are apart. I give all the girls that can do that long distance relationship thing all the credit in the world, but i just dont think i can do that to myself. see each other for a week out of every 3 months just doesnt seem like a fun thing for me. When you love someone your supposed to be able to see them whenever you want, and with garrett i wont be able to. & thinking of other boys is just out of the question, i mean friends are good but if things dont go the way i want. i`m going to be a lone ranger. if this doesnt work. then im done with long serious relationships. boys are stupid and things like this always happen, you find something good then it leaves you.
I HATE BEING SO CONFUSED...=[
I`m in love with a boy, he`s leaving me July 13th. && I`m really distraught about this whole thing, I know when he leaves i`m going to be a mess for a long time and i guess thats just whats going to happen. but i just want to know whats going to happen, i`ll never know, i`ll never know what we could have had and what the future had instore for us. It`s just like alright its over. && there is nothing i can do. it`s not your average breakup. It`s just left on standby, just turned off the switch. It really hurts me becuase this is the boy i love, the first boy i loved. i`m having alot of mixed feelings because i dont know whether to just go on being with him and pretending hes not leaving and just having a good time & stuff, or to just stop now to see if it makes things easier. i know it seems wierd and im probably not doing the right thing, but i just wish i had someone to give me some advice a opinon from the outside. if i had things my way he wouldnt leave and we would be together, but thats not how its working. our days together are limited and i hate that. I HATE knowing that on July 13th anything could happen & noone knows whats going to happen when we are apart. I give all the girls that can do that long distance relationship thing all the credit in the world, but i just dont think i can do that to myself. see each other for a week out of every 3 months just doesnt seem like a fun thing for me. When you love someone your supposed to be able to see them whenever you want, and with garrett i wont be able to. & thinking of other boys is just out of the question, i mean friends are good but if things dont go the way i want. i`m going to be a lone ranger. if this doesnt work. then im done with long serious relationships. boys are stupid and things like this always happen, you find something good then it leaves you.
I HATE BEING SO CONFUSED...=[