Warning : vaguely depressed
She does it regularly, she knows what buttons to push (she is responsible for many of them). MUM. She's trying to micro-manage my life again. I know she means well but she keeps saying the same things over and over in the same conversation until I want to yell at her. I know I need exercise, I just don't like being cold and wet and Ireland is providing plenty of that at the moment, I know I need to organise my life but right now I don't have the energy, and I don't want to, I want to laze around and be a bum for a few months, I want to get over this ill, I want to do stuff when I can and ignore stuff I don't HAVE to do.
I know Dave and I have some issues we need to deal with, communication being a large issue, which hopefully WHEN I GET BETTER we'll deal with. Now is not the time to be raking over some of the coals, both of us are stressed out enough at the moment without adding extra stuff in.
I know it would make sense to make more food when I'm well, and freeze it, it's enough sometimes that I actually cook, Dave does enough sometimes without having to do two dinners. I know fast-food isn't a good thing all the time but sometimes it's what you need today because it's fast and it's food.
I know I have weight issues, this isn't news, but the steroids and lack of energy aren't helping, these are things that can be dealt with later, when the weather won't make me more ill, when I'm able to deal, what I've got to do now is put the clothes that don't fit me away and concentrate on living.
I know I'm ill, I live with it, I hate being cotton wooled by people. I have given up on being brave, I ask when I need help, right now I need people to understand that. I need to wash dishes, to clean my room, to do some normal stuff, sometimes at abnormal rates, but I need to know I'm not disabled by this ill, I need some little control, I have so little of it, I have to take more drugs than I like, I have to live with a porto-cath, I have to live with people who one minute tell me that they will do what they can to help and who couldn't be bothered to clean the bathroom, or anything, who dramatically sigh or throw hissy fits when they have to wash dishes today.
I needed before I was ill to have people SHARE in the domestic shite, this was an issue before I got sick, I now have a list of domestic stuff and I am going to try to do it in bits. It's too late to get Steph and Claire to do this stuff, it will just cause more hassle, especially as they will be moving out soonish - the sooner the better in my head. But it's not too late to get Dave to contribute. Either that or I hire someome some day to get the house to clean and then just maintain it.
I am NEVER moving someone else in without written guidelines and a rota. I am looking forward to living with Dave without other people, it will be a learning experience. But I'm also apprehensive, he along with Steph and Claire seem to believe in the good fairy wot does domestic chores, spoilt rotten by his mum he was. I love him to bits but how can I make him SEE that things need occasional cleaning or it becomes a large chore... and usually for me! I am not domestically very proud, I just like a little bit of clean. My mother would laugh out loud if anyone suggested that I am domestically inclined, my sister is like that, she overcleans stuff and throws anything she doesn't need immediately out. It's scary to see her at work, she has no attachement to things. I'm the opposite sometimes.
I know Dave and I have some issues we need to deal with, communication being a large issue, which hopefully WHEN I GET BETTER we'll deal with. Now is not the time to be raking over some of the coals, both of us are stressed out enough at the moment without adding extra stuff in.
I know it would make sense to make more food when I'm well, and freeze it, it's enough sometimes that I actually cook, Dave does enough sometimes without having to do two dinners. I know fast-food isn't a good thing all the time but sometimes it's what you need today because it's fast and it's food.
I know I have weight issues, this isn't news, but the steroids and lack of energy aren't helping, these are things that can be dealt with later, when the weather won't make me more ill, when I'm able to deal, what I've got to do now is put the clothes that don't fit me away and concentrate on living.
I know I'm ill, I live with it, I hate being cotton wooled by people. I have given up on being brave, I ask when I need help, right now I need people to understand that. I need to wash dishes, to clean my room, to do some normal stuff, sometimes at abnormal rates, but I need to know I'm not disabled by this ill, I need some little control, I have so little of it, I have to take more drugs than I like, I have to live with a porto-cath, I have to live with people who one minute tell me that they will do what they can to help and who couldn't be bothered to clean the bathroom, or anything, who dramatically sigh or throw hissy fits when they have to wash dishes today.
I needed before I was ill to have people SHARE in the domestic shite, this was an issue before I got sick, I now have a list of domestic stuff and I am going to try to do it in bits. It's too late to get Steph and Claire to do this stuff, it will just cause more hassle, especially as they will be moving out soonish - the sooner the better in my head. But it's not too late to get Dave to contribute. Either that or I hire someome some day to get the house to clean and then just maintain it.
I am NEVER moving someone else in without written guidelines and a rota. I am looking forward to living with Dave without other people, it will be a learning experience. But I'm also apprehensive, he along with Steph and Claire seem to believe in the good fairy wot does domestic chores, spoilt rotten by his mum he was. I love him to bits but how can I make him SEE that things need occasional cleaning or it becomes a large chore... and usually for me! I am not domestically very proud, I just like a little bit of clean. My mother would laugh out loud if anyone suggested that I am domestically inclined, my sister is like that, she overcleans stuff and throws anything she doesn't need immediately out. It's scary to see her at work, she has no attachement to things. I'm the opposite sometimes.