O hai thar
Whoa, I hadn't made a post for 2011, so much for my wanting to improve my writing skills by writing more into my journal.
So far, work life has been good. Rather stagnant lately, doing the same things over and over again, there are times I just felt...lifeless, like a machine. Sighs...I wish there are some excitements in that aspect of my life.
5 years, for the first time in a longest while, I can think of that mistake I did in the past and smile about it. Well, tis good that I'm finally over it, and finally forgiven myself.
But that's not what I want to write about in this post.
It's just...lately, it feels as though whenever I want company, it's me who has to reach out to other people, to remind them that I'm there, that I'm still alive. Whatever happened to all those 'Hiya, how're you?' random messages? It seems like if I want attention, I have to get on a table, shout, dance and...basically parade about to entertain. Makes me wonder really...I kept putting on humour to entertain when people are together, but the moment I leave the group to another place, it's like I never was part of their lives before. So like, whenever I want to talk, I always have to be the one who makes the first move to message, to text, to call...
I've...trained myself to get used to being alone. But I'd be lying if I say that I wasn't cracking inside at the same time, feeling...thinking that no one had ever thought of me or how I'm doing..
To the fella who suddenly messaged me to update me on stuff happening Down Under, saying because I used to be part of the 'lil Melbie gang'.....Thank you so much, you have no idea how one little sentence, one little intention had meant to me, =)
Anyways...just to share a song I've been hooked onto for a while, =)
So far, work life has been good. Rather stagnant lately, doing the same things over and over again, there are times I just felt...lifeless, like a machine. Sighs...I wish there are some excitements in that aspect of my life.
5 years, for the first time in a longest while, I can think of that mistake I did in the past and smile about it. Well, tis good that I'm finally over it, and finally forgiven myself.
But that's not what I want to write about in this post.
It's just...lately, it feels as though whenever I want company, it's me who has to reach out to other people, to remind them that I'm there, that I'm still alive. Whatever happened to all those 'Hiya, how're you?' random messages? It seems like if I want attention, I have to get on a table, shout, dance and...basically parade about to entertain. Makes me wonder really...I kept putting on humour to entertain when people are together, but the moment I leave the group to another place, it's like I never was part of their lives before. So like, whenever I want to talk, I always have to be the one who makes the first move to message, to text, to call...
I've...trained myself to get used to being alone. But I'd be lying if I say that I wasn't cracking inside at the same time, feeling...thinking that no one had ever thought of me or how I'm doing..
To the fella who suddenly messaged me to update me on stuff happening Down Under, saying because I used to be part of the 'lil Melbie gang'.....Thank you so much, you have no idea how one little sentence, one little intention had meant to me, =)
Anyways...just to share a song I've been hooked onto for a while, =)
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