effing ants
As many of you know, I live in Australia. As many more would know, Australia is home to the poisonous and deadly. No seriously, if I hear about a venomous snake, my first reaction is: it's an Australian species isn't it?
Any introductory article to Australia, and particularly Australian wildlife, warns you of coming into contact with these creatures ... it's like some sort of painful human version of an elephants' graveyard. You'll be bitten, stung, and poisoned to death the moment you enter our national waters. Sorry governmental tourism board - as beautiful as this country is, it's also home to a bazillion things that can kill you.
The good news is that I'm still alive, as evidenced by this post.
The scary news is that I might have suffered anaphylactic shock and died. Luckily I didn't.
I realise I'm being uber dramatic, but to be honest, I feel like I had a close call. The melodramatics feel rather called for.
You'll all have seen the common garden variety ant. They're puny. Tiny. You can crush them with your fingers without difficulty. Well in Australia we have bull ants, also known as inch ants and they're big mother-effers. They are MASSIVE! They're like the Arnold Schwarzeneggars of the ant world. A rough comparison is that a normal ant is approximately the length of an average fingernail and a quarter of the width of the finger - a bull ant is about an inch long, so imagine it the thickness of your finger from tip to middle knuckle. That's a mofo right there.
I was getting up from the computer chair - and being tired - I needed to push down on the table in front of me to do so. My hand landed directly on top of the effing ant and it bit me in retaliation. I was in too much pain to kill it dead (yes, I wanted vengeance, I still do in fact), and ran into the house to get an ice-cube to numb the effing pain.
I Google the mofo (yes, I am THAT angry, but not angry enough to swear properly), and the first words that catch my eye?!?!?!
Lethal, sting, venom
Can you see now why I feel the necessity to be all "woe is me"?!?!?!
Sorry, I know that the toxicology has reported nothing particularly deadly, at least not from one bite. And I know that formic acid is the most likely agent i.e. not powerful. And I know I'm not going to die. But goddamn does my hand make me want to pummel it with a hammer just so it would stop bothering me. I know it's not deadly etc. but the shooting pain and numbness of my arms are seriously worrying me. I can't tell if my arteries are just crap for my age, or if something more serious is happening.
sigh
/panic
In other news, everyone should read High School Debut aka Koukou Debut. I might write fic for this fandom someday, b/c every time I read it, I feel like it's a story about me. Not in the overall plot sense, but in the I-am-as-dense-as-the-main-character-and-I'd-probably-say-something-equally-stupid. It also helps that the main character's boyfriend reminds me of Zoiboy. XD
Love,
Wyse
Any introductory article to Australia, and particularly Australian wildlife, warns you of coming into contact with these creatures ... it's like some sort of painful human version of an elephants' graveyard. You'll be bitten, stung, and poisoned to death the moment you enter our national waters. Sorry governmental tourism board - as beautiful as this country is, it's also home to a bazillion things that can kill you.
The good news is that I'm still alive, as evidenced by this post.
The scary news is that I might have suffered anaphylactic shock and died. Luckily I didn't.
I realise I'm being uber dramatic, but to be honest, I feel like I had a close call. The melodramatics feel rather called for.
You'll all have seen the common garden variety ant. They're puny. Tiny. You can crush them with your fingers without difficulty. Well in Australia we have bull ants, also known as inch ants and they're big mother-effers. They are MASSIVE! They're like the Arnold Schwarzeneggars of the ant world. A rough comparison is that a normal ant is approximately the length of an average fingernail and a quarter of the width of the finger - a bull ant is about an inch long, so imagine it the thickness of your finger from tip to middle knuckle. That's a mofo right there.
I was getting up from the computer chair - and being tired - I needed to push down on the table in front of me to do so. My hand landed directly on top of the effing ant and it bit me in retaliation. I was in too much pain to kill it dead (yes, I wanted vengeance, I still do in fact), and ran into the house to get an ice-cube to numb the effing pain.
I Google the mofo (yes, I am THAT angry, but not angry enough to swear properly), and the first words that catch my eye?!?!?!
Lethal, sting, venom
Can you see now why I feel the necessity to be all "woe is me"?!?!?!
Sorry, I know that the toxicology has reported nothing particularly deadly, at least not from one bite. And I know that formic acid is the most likely agent i.e. not powerful. And I know I'm not going to die. But goddamn does my hand make me want to pummel it with a hammer just so it would stop bothering me. I know it's not deadly etc. but the shooting pain and numbness of my arms are seriously worrying me. I can't tell if my arteries are just crap for my age, or if something more serious is happening.
sigh
/panic
In other news, everyone should read High School Debut aka Koukou Debut. I might write fic for this fandom someday, b/c every time I read it, I feel like it's a story about me. Not in the overall plot sense, but in the I-am-as-dense-as-the-main-character-and-I'd-probably-say-something-equally-stupid. It also helps that the main character's boyfriend reminds me of Zoiboy. XD
Love,
Wyse