Ponderings about AnthroCon and typical worries.
There was some recent talk on IRC between myself and friends. Then friends and friends of friends got to talking. It gets me almost feeling down right depressed, and this is not where I want to be with that con. Reason being, I fear being left out. It's a typical feeling for people but it's not how I started with AC and I must not let this happen.
When I first went to AC in 2012, all I heard before was sorta bad things. Those bad things were normally the same rabble about not being able to spend quality time with friends and the lots of walking and all sorts of things. Of course to me, these were the same people that normally seemed to be cliquish, completely "popufur" (I HATE that word), and (forgive me please) the kind that just wants the hookups in the hotel rooms later for happy fun times. With that in mind, I figured COOL! I never qualify for any of that and thought it possible to be completely enjoyable. I had my friend Fastclaw warn me to wear good shoes and always have some water with me. I heeded that warning. I had to improve on my water intake though. I came back from my first year of AC just about sick and it was for lack of hydration over the 5 days.
My opportunity to go to AC began with Jbadger and I talking in IRC #fursuit. We went back and forth and he extended an invitation to stay with him and his friend John in the westin. After so many years of thinking this wouldn't be the con for me, I was so stoked. I prepared mentally though. I told myself... I'm not going to get to hang out with people. I'll be ignored by those I do know in favor of their closer friends. I'll only get to see people in passing. I'll eat alone most of the time. I'll spend most of my unsuited and suited time just roaming around with no real goal or destination. This is what I told myself. This is how I decided it would be. You know what..... ALL OF THAT HAPPENED. It did, no lie. :) BUT only a little of each. There turned out to be so many good times between those moments of bad. I just needed to accept it and I was ok with the rest. I had an absolutely fantastic time that first year. I met so many people outside of those I actually knew personally. I am likely an introvert but I'll be damned if I let that bother me at AC and I was totally out and about. I saw people that had only been names on twitter and elsewhere. I didn't seek them out, they just sort of appeared. Some of them I clicked with. Others, not so much.
Now each year following, I've had more "goals" and more people I planned to meet. This isn't bad, but it starts making the con more problematic when things don't go the way I expected. I really must keep myself open to "just roll with it" like I did my first few years. The idea that I'll be left out is human. There's nothing wrong with that feeling. We all have it. But it contaminates the fun vibe.
This year is going to be different still beyond that. Jbadger isn't doing well with his health. He knows it. Others do too. I won't have him as a roommate. I won't have that familiar face like I have for the past 4 years. I likely won't see his friend. There won't be that traditional quick dinner after I arrive Wednesday. I do have a roommate. Nevermint has agreed to take me in this year but even then, he won't be around Wednesday to greet. I'm thinking too far ahead again but it's gonna be a hard day.
I'm going to do my best. This con has impressed on me in so many positive ways. The crowds, the spaces, the night life, the public. It's intoxicating for me even when I'm feeling my worst. I'm of a small town and I don't go out unless I have to. This is like a sinful little indulgence I'll grant myself sometimes.
Over thinking things as usual. :)
On another random note: I will say last year I was my random self and happened upon 2 of the thousands of people that attend, while I was strolling along outside under the convention center. They were sat down against the wall waiting for people to arrive (? , I forget ) I goofed off with two people in an honest attempt to just be genuinely friendly. I really figured after that, I would either be looked at like a loon every time they saw me in the convention space or I wouldn't see them much again at all. I figured the attempt failed. I was ok with this because of the nature of the beast, so to speak. NEVER would I have thought I would see those two over and over and over again, and each time, more and more friendly each time. GOOD spirits abounded and I still chat with one of them from time to time. NOW SEE!!! THAT IS what I LOVE about the con and my experiences. This MUST continue.
Now on a even more selfish note, I really hope to have one or two new suits by then. But .. *sighs* Gotta just roll with that too.
When I first went to AC in 2012, all I heard before was sorta bad things. Those bad things were normally the same rabble about not being able to spend quality time with friends and the lots of walking and all sorts of things. Of course to me, these were the same people that normally seemed to be cliquish, completely "popufur" (I HATE that word), and (forgive me please) the kind that just wants the hookups in the hotel rooms later for happy fun times. With that in mind, I figured COOL! I never qualify for any of that and thought it possible to be completely enjoyable. I had my friend Fastclaw warn me to wear good shoes and always have some water with me. I heeded that warning. I had to improve on my water intake though. I came back from my first year of AC just about sick and it was for lack of hydration over the 5 days.
My opportunity to go to AC began with Jbadger and I talking in IRC #fursuit. We went back and forth and he extended an invitation to stay with him and his friend John in the westin. After so many years of thinking this wouldn't be the con for me, I was so stoked. I prepared mentally though. I told myself... I'm not going to get to hang out with people. I'll be ignored by those I do know in favor of their closer friends. I'll only get to see people in passing. I'll eat alone most of the time. I'll spend most of my unsuited and suited time just roaming around with no real goal or destination. This is what I told myself. This is how I decided it would be. You know what..... ALL OF THAT HAPPENED. It did, no lie. :) BUT only a little of each. There turned out to be so many good times between those moments of bad. I just needed to accept it and I was ok with the rest. I had an absolutely fantastic time that first year. I met so many people outside of those I actually knew personally. I am likely an introvert but I'll be damned if I let that bother me at AC and I was totally out and about. I saw people that had only been names on twitter and elsewhere. I didn't seek them out, they just sort of appeared. Some of them I clicked with. Others, not so much.
Now each year following, I've had more "goals" and more people I planned to meet. This isn't bad, but it starts making the con more problematic when things don't go the way I expected. I really must keep myself open to "just roll with it" like I did my first few years. The idea that I'll be left out is human. There's nothing wrong with that feeling. We all have it. But it contaminates the fun vibe.
This year is going to be different still beyond that. Jbadger isn't doing well with his health. He knows it. Others do too. I won't have him as a roommate. I won't have that familiar face like I have for the past 4 years. I likely won't see his friend. There won't be that traditional quick dinner after I arrive Wednesday. I do have a roommate. Nevermint has agreed to take me in this year but even then, he won't be around Wednesday to greet. I'm thinking too far ahead again but it's gonna be a hard day.
I'm going to do my best. This con has impressed on me in so many positive ways. The crowds, the spaces, the night life, the public. It's intoxicating for me even when I'm feeling my worst. I'm of a small town and I don't go out unless I have to. This is like a sinful little indulgence I'll grant myself sometimes.
Over thinking things as usual. :)
On another random note: I will say last year I was my random self and happened upon 2 of the thousands of people that attend, while I was strolling along outside under the convention center. They were sat down against the wall waiting for people to arrive (? , I forget ) I goofed off with two people in an honest attempt to just be genuinely friendly. I really figured after that, I would either be looked at like a loon every time they saw me in the convention space or I wouldn't see them much again at all. I figured the attempt failed. I was ok with this because of the nature of the beast, so to speak. NEVER would I have thought I would see those two over and over and over again, and each time, more and more friendly each time. GOOD spirits abounded and I still chat with one of them from time to time. NOW SEE!!! THAT IS what I LOVE about the con and my experiences. This MUST continue.
Now on a even more selfish note, I really hope to have one or two new suits by then. But .. *sighs* Gotta just roll with that too.