My Life
I am getting so tired of drama. After I took Jordon, all I have done is fight with Ayla. I am sick of it. I just want to get this shit over with. The most fun I have been having is when I am hanging out with Justine. I don't know, I guess I really shouldn't be, but I can't help it. Her dad has even asked me to kind of give her and Colt room. I don't want to make her dad mad, but I also know that if he knew what Colt was really like, then he would kill him before I did. Can't have that. Lol. I guess I shouldn't be so impatient. Even if I could get together with Justine, it really couldn't be until after Iraq anyway. I shouldn't even get my hopes up. It is always my luck that when something good can happen, something comes along to fuck it up. It would be just my luck that by the time I came back, she would be with somebody else. Lol, oh well. Everything would be so much simpler if we were both single. Damn us both for ever getting married. I have gotten to the point where I am starting to really hate Christmas. Both this year and last year, I have been home for leave and me and Ayla have done nothing but fight. And the year before that, I had just moved out of the house and wasn't really talking to my family and so didn't have much of a holiday season then either. I just want to find something that makes me happy. My son does, but that means I have to deal with Ayla. I don't know. I just need to figure my life out. Lol. Goodluck with that. Lol. I don't know what to do. I know what I feel and what I want to do, but I also know what I should do. I am so confused right now.