Recent Events
Well, I'm not sure who all still reads this, but I'm updating anyway. I guess because I have a moment...I think...(Hannah is sleeping with her daddy)...and feel like taking some time for me. I would rather be having a hot soak or something, but this is quieter.
I have had a second surgery since last I typed. Nothing major really I guess. Got fixed. That was on the 8th. Mother actually came over for a couple of days and helped a bit. I went from 2 hours of sleep a day to like 5 or so.
I feel like something happened during that surgery that they didn't tell me though. Every muscle in my body hurt like hell for nearly a week after. The surgical site itself hurt less than my muscles. Did they drop me on the floor or something?! If someone told me I had been in a car wreck I would've believed them.
Joe's mom came from Nebraska to help us for a couple of weeks. She's already back home though. I actually got some sleep. My body was able to do some healing. I can tell because I'm not as sore as I was. Oh I still hurt, just not as bad thankfully.
On that note...went for my last visit with my doctor (term used loosely) to be discharged. I'm finally free of them. However, she feels that my pelvis separated badly during delivery and went back together misaligned. That is why I'm still hurt and move like an old lady sometimes. I suppose it's possible. I'm not liking her "fix" for it though. She wants me to go to a chiropractor and let them "POP" it back into place. WTF!? Not sure what I'm going to do yet, but I'll need to do something eventually or I guess I'll be like this forever...ugh.
Getting some sleep did help though. It also gave my meds time to kick in some. I had PPD so bad I was freaking. Not the angry kind. The "oh my God I can't take this! I'm going insane! I can't breathe! I want to bag my head into something until I'm unconscious!" kind. I was crying all the time. Stayed on the very verge of a panic attack when I wasn't actually having one. Couldn't breathe half the time. Felt like I would pass out from the panic. Begged Joe not to leave me to go to work. He has missed so much trying to help me that he was on the verge of losing his job.
Things are still far from perfect, but better I think. But then...I've only been alone again for a couple of days. I'm mostly ok so far. I'm just scared I'll freak again. And if I do, there is nothing that can be done. He must work. His mom is back home, and mine is "too old" to help.
Dillon is fucking up left right and center in school. The chaos in the house has spilled over. His grades are slipping. He doesn't do his homework. I need to help him and I'm not usually ever able to. I have my hands full with Hannah. I'm still able to talk to him though, so at least that's something. Just not sure how much good it's doing. At least I reassure him it will get better. Not sure who I'm trying to convince though, him or me.
As far as Hannah...She finally saw her specialist. Didn't tell us a damn thing we didn't already know. That was my fear, and it came true. So we have taken some of his advice and taken things into our own hands.
She gets her prevacid twice a day now. We put her back on formula. Used a page from a friend of mine's play book. We use half Gentlease for the fussiness and gas, and half AR to fill her up better and thicken her formula to help it stay down better. These things seem to be helping.
We are still having a bit of trouble getting her bowels to move regularly on their own, but it's still better than it was. She has some pretty good days now sometimes, whereas she was having all bad days. So it's something at least. She's older now too though and I think that is helping as well.
Now if I could just get it through my thick head that it's ok for me to sleep some now, we might be doing ok. Still having an issue with that. If someone isn't here up with her, I feel I need to be. Some part of me does anyway...the part that controls sleep apparently...ugh.
To sum up...Joe's on nights...6/12's and fighting not to get sick with his sinuses again...grrrrrrrrrr...Dillon is slipping in school and sick with his sinuses...I'm better but still got a ways to go...and hannah has a few good days here and there...so over all...I would have to say it's a lil lil bit better. I'll take that and pray for more.
Going for now. Take care all!
I have had a second surgery since last I typed. Nothing major really I guess. Got fixed. That was on the 8th. Mother actually came over for a couple of days and helped a bit. I went from 2 hours of sleep a day to like 5 or so.
I feel like something happened during that surgery that they didn't tell me though. Every muscle in my body hurt like hell for nearly a week after. The surgical site itself hurt less than my muscles. Did they drop me on the floor or something?! If someone told me I had been in a car wreck I would've believed them.
Joe's mom came from Nebraska to help us for a couple of weeks. She's already back home though. I actually got some sleep. My body was able to do some healing. I can tell because I'm not as sore as I was. Oh I still hurt, just not as bad thankfully.
On that note...went for my last visit with my doctor (term used loosely) to be discharged. I'm finally free of them. However, she feels that my pelvis separated badly during delivery and went back together misaligned. That is why I'm still hurt and move like an old lady sometimes. I suppose it's possible. I'm not liking her "fix" for it though. She wants me to go to a chiropractor and let them "POP" it back into place. WTF!? Not sure what I'm going to do yet, but I'll need to do something eventually or I guess I'll be like this forever...ugh.
Getting some sleep did help though. It also gave my meds time to kick in some. I had PPD so bad I was freaking. Not the angry kind. The "oh my God I can't take this! I'm going insane! I can't breathe! I want to bag my head into something until I'm unconscious!" kind. I was crying all the time. Stayed on the very verge of a panic attack when I wasn't actually having one. Couldn't breathe half the time. Felt like I would pass out from the panic. Begged Joe not to leave me to go to work. He has missed so much trying to help me that he was on the verge of losing his job.
Things are still far from perfect, but better I think. But then...I've only been alone again for a couple of days. I'm mostly ok so far. I'm just scared I'll freak again. And if I do, there is nothing that can be done. He must work. His mom is back home, and mine is "too old" to help.
Dillon is fucking up left right and center in school. The chaos in the house has spilled over. His grades are slipping. He doesn't do his homework. I need to help him and I'm not usually ever able to. I have my hands full with Hannah. I'm still able to talk to him though, so at least that's something. Just not sure how much good it's doing. At least I reassure him it will get better. Not sure who I'm trying to convince though, him or me.
As far as Hannah...She finally saw her specialist. Didn't tell us a damn thing we didn't already know. That was my fear, and it came true. So we have taken some of his advice and taken things into our own hands.
She gets her prevacid twice a day now. We put her back on formula. Used a page from a friend of mine's play book. We use half Gentlease for the fussiness and gas, and half AR to fill her up better and thicken her formula to help it stay down better. These things seem to be helping.
We are still having a bit of trouble getting her bowels to move regularly on their own, but it's still better than it was. She has some pretty good days now sometimes, whereas she was having all bad days. So it's something at least. She's older now too though and I think that is helping as well.
Now if I could just get it through my thick head that it's ok for me to sleep some now, we might be doing ok. Still having an issue with that. If someone isn't here up with her, I feel I need to be. Some part of me does anyway...the part that controls sleep apparently...ugh.
To sum up...Joe's on nights...6/12's and fighting not to get sick with his sinuses again...grrrrrrrrrr...Dillon is slipping in school and sick with his sinuses...I'm better but still got a ways to go...and hannah has a few good days here and there...so over all...I would have to say it's a lil lil bit better. I'll take that and pray for more.
Going for now. Take care all!