I am back again people!
So did any one miss me?
Ready to type down the stuff I have been going through lately, even though it's not that many. (I have a boring life!)
I have been going back to school, so far it has been pretty much fun. After missing your friends for so long, I mean, a working place is nothing compaired to your own school or class mates. If you are having a great time at school, you'll have more trouble with letting go then ever.
I finally am not getting sick any more, which is really good. No more pain and all of that stupid crap for a long while.
Next sunday, it will be exactely 9 months ago since my boyfriend and I got back together. Man time flies by so fast, I can't even stop it from spinning sometimes. We are saving up money, hopefully when I get of off school, we will find the house and move in. I am already looking forward to it. Two of my friends already moved out of the house and bought/rented their own little haven. Me, not being able to help it, getting more jealous of it each day. Not only the thought of having our own little space, but the thought of having something that is truly yours. Something you have earned, something you have built with the one you love.
All I have to do now is get a job, I have written a letter to this pet shop... well I still have to post it tomorrow. It's an open 'application'(damn.. dutch peeps... sollicitatie!! XD) Hopefully they will bring me some good news. It's at a petshop... yup, I just love pets! XD
Frantic Behavior (what about that... I still call you Lady KatZ... I don't even know your real name!! >.<) has got me hooked up to go and buy a rat. I miss mine, even though I love my kitty Misty, she did kill my rat. I still miss the tiny thing, even though it has been over a year. Scrap that, I miss all my rats ^^;; I used to have four hamsters and a rat. Now I got nothing but two fishes and a cat.. who really loves my fishes. O.o..
I finally updated my website as well, last week I reopened it. It was about damn time! Even though my interest has faded more then enough, I just can't leave it there and let all the work I have done more then a year ago go away. Damn, that site is almost my life work!
And Boud? Even though you don't get onto livejournal that much and by the time you do, this entry wont even show in your friends list.
I really have no idea when I can go and visit you, or the other way around. But as soon as I do know this, I'll e-mail ya! XD
Get your butt online more often!! *shakes fists angrily*
I am also curious how Dani is doing, she's going to Japan this week (I think)
Hope you'll have a great time girl!! XD
I am happy with how everything is going in my life right now. I've learned through out my short life so far, (I know everyone should know this, but wont accept it) that not everything is like a sunny day. A day which is not to cold and not to hot. A cold windy breeze that some how manages to get every hair on your body to stand up. Perfect in other words. It's impossible right?
At times you want to jump up and down, screaming as loud as you can "it's unfair!!", finding life unfair and wanting to yell at every person who tells you other wise. Even if their intentions are meant to be good.
Damn, in one year, 2004, I have fallen in love so badly. Lost the two bests friends I ever had, got my heart broken, found out who I really was. Lost a lot of things. And yet at the end, I got something back, something so important to me. I really can't live with out it.
Looking back, I can't help but to smile. Who would have thought that? Smile at a year that made your head keep spinning back and forth. Like your stomache has been turned upside down. Smile, knowing that everything which has happened was something that just had to happen. A bad yet good thing for both sides.
I wasn't the only one who went through a lot of things in the year 2004, someone who I still care for have been through a hard time because of what I have said and done. Not trying to make it seem some how right, I do know that there was absolutely no sense into denying the truth. For both sides, it was just something that was bound to happen. Someone had to pull the line, unfortunately... it had to be me. >.<
But somehow, we all lost something yet gained something back in return. To me it can't compete with what I have had with the ones who I hurt. But that what we had, already died. It was time to say goodbye to that period.
When my boyfriend and I broke up... damn.. to look back at that time. To see myself the way I was. Trying to hide it and letting everyone around me know that I'll live. Yet cry myself to sleep that night. I don't know how I could feel so bad, how could one person make you feel so incredible happy for one moment and then the next moment gives you the feeling of you wanting to just vanish from the face of the planet and not return ever again. Just close your eyes and not ever having to open them up.
That's bad... that's really bad for a person to feel like that. I do not need to tell you this.. everyone has wished that at some point in life. But from jumping into a bowl of happiness, suddenly getting kicked out with out warning. Is something you can't explain. Or at least I can't.
I felt like that, for what seemed to me an eternity.
Yet two months later, that wonderful feeling returned again. Looking in to those beautiful eyes, who looked back at me with pure adoration. To reach out and be touched again. To have that warm feeling back in my life again, I couldn't say no. I couldn't resist. It felt good and every vibe in my body told me the same thing, "This is good... you've learned your lesson and so did he." Which was true. Look at where we are standing right now! Already having big dreams for us in the future, together! He knew it was right, he finally knew this. And secretly, I've known this all along.
Enough for my mindless ramblings... no body even reads this after having read the first few sentences. But hey! I still like to type.. even though everything I type down doesn't make any sense at all!
As for the rest... nothing much to say... Don't you just love my rantings? Long entries ROCK!!
You like my icon?! And what do ya know? I got pink colors as my layout! *bangs head on desk*
Byebye!!
xxx WyZ
Ready to type down the stuff I have been going through lately, even though it's not that many. (I have a boring life!)
I have been going back to school, so far it has been pretty much fun. After missing your friends for so long, I mean, a working place is nothing compaired to your own school or class mates. If you are having a great time at school, you'll have more trouble with letting go then ever.
I finally am not getting sick any more, which is really good. No more pain and all of that stupid crap for a long while.
Next sunday, it will be exactely 9 months ago since my boyfriend and I got back together. Man time flies by so fast, I can't even stop it from spinning sometimes. We are saving up money, hopefully when I get of off school, we will find the house and move in. I am already looking forward to it. Two of my friends already moved out of the house and bought/rented their own little haven. Me, not being able to help it, getting more jealous of it each day. Not only the thought of having our own little space, but the thought of having something that is truly yours. Something you have earned, something you have built with the one you love.
All I have to do now is get a job, I have written a letter to this pet shop... well I still have to post it tomorrow. It's an open 'application'(damn.. dutch peeps... sollicitatie!! XD) Hopefully they will bring me some good news. It's at a petshop... yup, I just love pets! XD
Frantic Behavior (what about that... I still call you Lady KatZ... I don't even know your real name!! >.<) has got me hooked up to go and buy a rat. I miss mine, even though I love my kitty Misty, she did kill my rat. I still miss the tiny thing, even though it has been over a year. Scrap that, I miss all my rats ^^;; I used to have four hamsters and a rat. Now I got nothing but two fishes and a cat.. who really loves my fishes. O.o..
I finally updated my website as well, last week I reopened it. It was about damn time! Even though my interest has faded more then enough, I just can't leave it there and let all the work I have done more then a year ago go away. Damn, that site is almost my life work!
And Boud? Even though you don't get onto livejournal that much and by the time you do, this entry wont even show in your friends list.
I really have no idea when I can go and visit you, or the other way around. But as soon as I do know this, I'll e-mail ya! XD
Get your butt online more often!! *shakes fists angrily*
I am also curious how Dani is doing, she's going to Japan this week (I think)
Hope you'll have a great time girl!! XD
I am happy with how everything is going in my life right now. I've learned through out my short life so far, (I know everyone should know this, but wont accept it) that not everything is like a sunny day. A day which is not to cold and not to hot. A cold windy breeze that some how manages to get every hair on your body to stand up. Perfect in other words. It's impossible right?
At times you want to jump up and down, screaming as loud as you can "it's unfair!!", finding life unfair and wanting to yell at every person who tells you other wise. Even if their intentions are meant to be good.
Damn, in one year, 2004, I have fallen in love so badly. Lost the two bests friends I ever had, got my heart broken, found out who I really was. Lost a lot of things. And yet at the end, I got something back, something so important to me. I really can't live with out it.
Looking back, I can't help but to smile. Who would have thought that? Smile at a year that made your head keep spinning back and forth. Like your stomache has been turned upside down. Smile, knowing that everything which has happened was something that just had to happen. A bad yet good thing for both sides.
I wasn't the only one who went through a lot of things in the year 2004, someone who I still care for have been through a hard time because of what I have said and done. Not trying to make it seem some how right, I do know that there was absolutely no sense into denying the truth. For both sides, it was just something that was bound to happen. Someone had to pull the line, unfortunately... it had to be me. >.<
But somehow, we all lost something yet gained something back in return. To me it can't compete with what I have had with the ones who I hurt. But that what we had, already died. It was time to say goodbye to that period.
When my boyfriend and I broke up... damn.. to look back at that time. To see myself the way I was. Trying to hide it and letting everyone around me know that I'll live. Yet cry myself to sleep that night. I don't know how I could feel so bad, how could one person make you feel so incredible happy for one moment and then the next moment gives you the feeling of you wanting to just vanish from the face of the planet and not return ever again. Just close your eyes and not ever having to open them up.
That's bad... that's really bad for a person to feel like that. I do not need to tell you this.. everyone has wished that at some point in life. But from jumping into a bowl of happiness, suddenly getting kicked out with out warning. Is something you can't explain. Or at least I can't.
I felt like that, for what seemed to me an eternity.
Yet two months later, that wonderful feeling returned again. Looking in to those beautiful eyes, who looked back at me with pure adoration. To reach out and be touched again. To have that warm feeling back in my life again, I couldn't say no. I couldn't resist. It felt good and every vibe in my body told me the same thing, "This is good... you've learned your lesson and so did he." Which was true. Look at where we are standing right now! Already having big dreams for us in the future, together! He knew it was right, he finally knew this. And secretly, I've known this all along.
Enough for my mindless ramblings... no body even reads this after having read the first few sentences. But hey! I still like to type.. even though everything I type down doesn't make any sense at all!
As for the rest... nothing much to say... Don't you just love my rantings? Long entries ROCK!!
You like my icon?! And what do ya know? I got pink colors as my layout! *bangs head on desk*
Byebye!!
xxx WyZ