(no subject)
Don't be yourself. Be someone a little nicer.
Mignon McLaughlin, journalist and author (1913-1983)
I was not expecting how many times I would think about my mother after her death. So many little things bring her to my mind. This weekend, I missed her so much. We have all but a few odds and ends in Tess's new apartment. With the business of this transition some of the personal touches have been omitted. If Mom was alive, there would have been a card waiting in Tess's mailbox the first day she arrived, just so she would have some mail =)
She would have called me often to see how things were going - what her apt was like, how we were fixing it up.
That's another thing, it is sad how little my phone rings or how seldom i am on it. It's not like we talked every day, but i did talk to Mom at least once a week. When stuff was going on, more often. Sundays are sad days for Tom and I, that's when we almost always talked to his family and mine.
The good part about all of this is that the memories and/or thoughts are positive. You don't realize how many memories you are making in the course of a lifetime. Ironically, it's the little things that people seem to remember.
Our dear friend Gary will have been dead a year Aug 16th - and what do i remember about him? Mostly the fact that he wore white socks with dress pants and brown ones with shorts. I used to give him so much crap about it that it became an ongoing topic between us. I also remember at our reception party, he sang karaoke and sounded just like Willie Nelson, of course he was resplendent in plaid shorts, brown socks and tennis shoes. This vision always makes me smile =) He was a gentle giant and he would be proud of how his wife is handling things with such dignity and grace.
So, like bassnote says, maybe these are all steps. I'm not angry anymore. I have realized, even with all of our "problems" that I miss my Mom every day and it's the little things that she did that meant so much. My heart will be sore always I suspect, but I can enjoy memories that make me smile. The other stuff, just doesn't matter.
I'm ok, and thanks Lord for another day.
Mignon McLaughlin, journalist and author (1913-1983)
I was not expecting how many times I would think about my mother after her death. So many little things bring her to my mind. This weekend, I missed her so much. We have all but a few odds and ends in Tess's new apartment. With the business of this transition some of the personal touches have been omitted. If Mom was alive, there would have been a card waiting in Tess's mailbox the first day she arrived, just so she would have some mail =)
She would have called me often to see how things were going - what her apt was like, how we were fixing it up.
That's another thing, it is sad how little my phone rings or how seldom i am on it. It's not like we talked every day, but i did talk to Mom at least once a week. When stuff was going on, more often. Sundays are sad days for Tom and I, that's when we almost always talked to his family and mine.
The good part about all of this is that the memories and/or thoughts are positive. You don't realize how many memories you are making in the course of a lifetime. Ironically, it's the little things that people seem to remember.
Our dear friend Gary will have been dead a year Aug 16th - and what do i remember about him? Mostly the fact that he wore white socks with dress pants and brown ones with shorts. I used to give him so much crap about it that it became an ongoing topic between us. I also remember at our reception party, he sang karaoke and sounded just like Willie Nelson, of course he was resplendent in plaid shorts, brown socks and tennis shoes. This vision always makes me smile =) He was a gentle giant and he would be proud of how his wife is handling things with such dignity and grace.
So, like bassnote says, maybe these are all steps. I'm not angry anymore. I have realized, even with all of our "problems" that I miss my Mom every day and it's the little things that she did that meant so much. My heart will be sore always I suspect, but I can enjoy memories that make me smile. The other stuff, just doesn't matter.
I'm ok, and thanks Lord for another day.