Ok, moving forward....
I'm taking a deep breath and moving forward.
I've really been trying to be a more positive person this year (which is the polar opposite of my usual pessimistic self) and I've been trying to make subtle changes to my life. For instance, I'm trying to eliminate the word "hate" from my vocabulary. Its overused for its strong meaning. (For instance, I dont actually "hate" traffic on the way to work, its just irritating.)
I'm also trying to be a healthy person (again, polar opposite of the norm). Its not a "diet", so to speak - I'm trying to make permanent changes in the way I live. This is not as easy as it sounds. I was raised in a family that thrived on over-eating and inactivity. I was raised that when youre upset, food is always there to comfort you. Food will never stab you in the back.... which really isnt true, its just more sneaky about it. (Hello clogged arteries! How'd you get there?) I trying to NOT eat when I'm upset.... and this past week at work has been a REAL test of that. Oy.
I had set other goals for myself for this year which have not yet been realized. I'm still working on it though! I'd like to clear the backyard and grow a garden and some fruit trees. I would like to get rid of 50% of the crap that I own. I want to learn to quilt. I also would like to learn how to can and preserve foods. And, the thing I struggle with a lot, I would like to FINALLY pay off my debts and be rid of the stupid credit cards.
In the past couple weeks, I've also realized that I need to start thinking about a new career. My job is not good for my health - mentally or physically. I have Delayed Sleep Phase Snydrome (basically I'm hard wired to sleep during the day and be awake at night) and I've learned how to get along pretty well with it. However, when I'm very stressed out, it acts up and I run into problems. In the past week, I've had two separate incidents where I went for extended periods of time with no sleep - one was for 48 hours! This is bad. The most frustrating thing about it all is that its not the actual WORK that stresses me out, its not the actual work that is too much for me to handle... its my boss. He has created this environment at our office that coddles this one completely incompetent employee to the point that is just ludicrous. No, more than that. Its insane. She has been doing this job for nearly 20 years, so she should know it front, back and upside down, but she constantly makes mistakes - and then tries to hide them, thereby actually making them even worse. (I should also mention that she has literally 10% of the workload in our office. I share the other 90% with one other coworker, plus all the HR/Office Manager/IT Support duties are mine too.) Her office is a pigsty. She has food all through her desk and office, and it always smells like rotten food in there. She has been told to clean her office... but there is never any followup or discipinary action taken against her if she doesnt do it, so she doesnt do it. And now, she's about to cost our office one of our biggest clients. And STILL my boss does nothing about it. I finally lost my shit in front of him and asked him why why why does he protect her???? His answer was that she's been with him for so long, it would break his heart to lose her. I was speechless. He may lose his whole company, and we may all be out of jobs, but he continues to employ and defend this woman. That is what I cannot handle. I am tired of having to fix the mistakes she makes. I'm tired of having to walk past her filthy office everyday. I'm tired of the bullshit, and her "holier than thou" attitude.
Ok, so... sorry about that. I really didnt mean to rant, but once I started it was very cathartic. I'm trying to be a better person, and I think part of this will have to be finding a new job/industry. I'll add it to the list of things to work on.
So anyways, hows everything else?
I've really been trying to be a more positive person this year (which is the polar opposite of my usual pessimistic self) and I've been trying to make subtle changes to my life. For instance, I'm trying to eliminate the word "hate" from my vocabulary. Its overused for its strong meaning. (For instance, I dont actually "hate" traffic on the way to work, its just irritating.)
I'm also trying to be a healthy person (again, polar opposite of the norm). Its not a "diet", so to speak - I'm trying to make permanent changes in the way I live. This is not as easy as it sounds. I was raised in a family that thrived on over-eating and inactivity. I was raised that when youre upset, food is always there to comfort you. Food will never stab you in the back.... which really isnt true, its just more sneaky about it. (Hello clogged arteries! How'd you get there?) I trying to NOT eat when I'm upset.... and this past week at work has been a REAL test of that. Oy.
I had set other goals for myself for this year which have not yet been realized. I'm still working on it though! I'd like to clear the backyard and grow a garden and some fruit trees. I would like to get rid of 50% of the crap that I own. I want to learn to quilt. I also would like to learn how to can and preserve foods. And, the thing I struggle with a lot, I would like to FINALLY pay off my debts and be rid of the stupid credit cards.
In the past couple weeks, I've also realized that I need to start thinking about a new career. My job is not good for my health - mentally or physically. I have Delayed Sleep Phase Snydrome (basically I'm hard wired to sleep during the day and be awake at night) and I've learned how to get along pretty well with it. However, when I'm very stressed out, it acts up and I run into problems. In the past week, I've had two separate incidents where I went for extended periods of time with no sleep - one was for 48 hours! This is bad. The most frustrating thing about it all is that its not the actual WORK that stresses me out, its not the actual work that is too much for me to handle... its my boss. He has created this environment at our office that coddles this one completely incompetent employee to the point that is just ludicrous. No, more than that. Its insane. She has been doing this job for nearly 20 years, so she should know it front, back and upside down, but she constantly makes mistakes - and then tries to hide them, thereby actually making them even worse. (I should also mention that she has literally 10% of the workload in our office. I share the other 90% with one other coworker, plus all the HR/Office Manager/IT Support duties are mine too.) Her office is a pigsty. She has food all through her desk and office, and it always smells like rotten food in there. She has been told to clean her office... but there is never any followup or discipinary action taken against her if she doesnt do it, so she doesnt do it. And now, she's about to cost our office one of our biggest clients. And STILL my boss does nothing about it. I finally lost my shit in front of him and asked him why why why does he protect her???? His answer was that she's been with him for so long, it would break his heart to lose her. I was speechless. He may lose his whole company, and we may all be out of jobs, but he continues to employ and defend this woman. That is what I cannot handle. I am tired of having to fix the mistakes she makes. I'm tired of having to walk past her filthy office everyday. I'm tired of the bullshit, and her "holier than thou" attitude.
Ok, so... sorry about that. I really didnt mean to rant, but once I started it was very cathartic. I'm trying to be a better person, and I think part of this will have to be finding a new job/industry. I'll add it to the list of things to work on.
So anyways, hows everything else?