Dear Mace Windu: WTF?
Dear Mace,
You and I have never been especially close, and I know we don't always see eye-to-eye, but I am going to set all that aside right now and just be honest with you.
Honestly, Mace: WTF?
Qui-Gon returned from Naboo by way of Tatooine bearing news that the Sith had returned and also bringing the Chosen One who was born to stop them , and you said, "Now is not the time for this." WTF? When would it be time for the Chosen One, if not now?
Also you weren't convinced that the Sith had really returned. Now, I know that Qui-Gon's tendency to ingest hallucinatory substances is a little off-putting, but let's be fair: the Dark Side is all over the place, Obi-Wan backed his story, the new kid's got midichlorians out the wazoo (assuming the whole concept wasn't just a figment of Qui-Gon's chemically altered imagination), and -- let's face it -- the bad-ass red lightsaber was pretty damning evidence!
So then you and Yoda decide that you don't really want the Chosen One around anyway, because he's not what you were expecting. Yeah. That's devout. Let's ... remake the Force's Chosen One in the image of the Jedi Order, shall we? Because we certainly wouldn't want to change the Jedi to suit the Force. Oh, wait ... why would that be, again? So you kick him out, even though he's nine years old and across the galaxy from his home. WTF?
Fortunately Qui-Gon is stoned but not cruel, and takes young Anakin under his wing ... straight to Naboo, where Qui-Gon is killed, Obi-Wan uses his anger to defeat a Sith and become a Jedi Knight, and the Chosen One wins a battle while everyone else is running around trying to keep up with the plot. You're still not crazy about admitting Skywalker into the Jedi Order, but I'll let you pass the buck to Yoda on that one.
But what about the Clone Wars? Dude, you totally dropped the ball on Geonosis by not killing Count Dooku. But then it was also pretty harsh when you told young Boba Fett -- who claimed he'd never forgive you for killing his father -- "Well, you're going to have to." WTF? What kind of answer is that to a boy whose father you killed? I mean, I know you had to because of the giant unnecessary battle and all, and also so we could somehow explain away Boba's nefarious deeds as the product of an unstable childhood but seriously ... that was cold.
But what worried me the most was when Palpatine told Anakin that the Jedi were plotting to take over the Senate, and he was telling the truth, because there you were, telling Master Yoda that the Jedi would have to assume control of the Senate in order to ensure a peaceful transition! WTF? Isn't that pretty much what Palpatine did, too?
That makes you look a little less sympathetic when Anakin Skywalker, Chosen One, arrives and tells you that Palpatine is in fact the Sith Lord Darth Sidious and you say, "Are you sure?" WTF? I'll be the first to admit, Anakin is kinda crazy, but he's no liar and he's not likely to denounce someone as a Sith Lord as part of a practical joke. Let's stick to reality here, Mace.
It makes you look even less sympathetic when you tell Anakin -- still the Chosen One, remember? -- that you have to kill Palpatine without trial because he is too dangerous to be allowed to live. WTF? I hate to break it to you, but that was actually the same advice Palpatine gave the Chosen One, also his soon-to-be apprentice, regarding the murder/execution of Count Dooku.
Which side are you on, anyway?
You and I have never been especially close, and I know we don't always see eye-to-eye, but I am going to set all that aside right now and just be honest with you.
Honestly, Mace: WTF?
Qui-Gon returned from Naboo by way of Tatooine bearing news that the Sith had returned and also bringing the Chosen One who was born to stop them , and you said, "Now is not the time for this." WTF? When would it be time for the Chosen One, if not now?
Also you weren't convinced that the Sith had really returned. Now, I know that Qui-Gon's tendency to ingest hallucinatory substances is a little off-putting, but let's be fair: the Dark Side is all over the place, Obi-Wan backed his story, the new kid's got midichlorians out the wazoo (assuming the whole concept wasn't just a figment of Qui-Gon's chemically altered imagination), and -- let's face it -- the bad-ass red lightsaber was pretty damning evidence!
So then you and Yoda decide that you don't really want the Chosen One around anyway, because he's not what you were expecting. Yeah. That's devout. Let's ... remake the Force's Chosen One in the image of the Jedi Order, shall we? Because we certainly wouldn't want to change the Jedi to suit the Force. Oh, wait ... why would that be, again? So you kick him out, even though he's nine years old and across the galaxy from his home. WTF?
Fortunately Qui-Gon is stoned but not cruel, and takes young Anakin under his wing ... straight to Naboo, where Qui-Gon is killed, Obi-Wan uses his anger to defeat a Sith and become a Jedi Knight, and the Chosen One wins a battle while everyone else is running around trying to keep up with the plot. You're still not crazy about admitting Skywalker into the Jedi Order, but I'll let you pass the buck to Yoda on that one.
But what about the Clone Wars? Dude, you totally dropped the ball on Geonosis by not killing Count Dooku. But then it was also pretty harsh when you told young Boba Fett -- who claimed he'd never forgive you for killing his father -- "Well, you're going to have to." WTF? What kind of answer is that to a boy whose father you killed? I mean, I know you had to because of the giant unnecessary battle and all, and also so we could somehow explain away Boba's nefarious deeds as the product of an unstable childhood but seriously ... that was cold.
But what worried me the most was when Palpatine told Anakin that the Jedi were plotting to take over the Senate, and he was telling the truth, because there you were, telling Master Yoda that the Jedi would have to assume control of the Senate in order to ensure a peaceful transition! WTF? Isn't that pretty much what Palpatine did, too?
That makes you look a little less sympathetic when Anakin Skywalker, Chosen One, arrives and tells you that Palpatine is in fact the Sith Lord Darth Sidious and you say, "Are you sure?" WTF? I'll be the first to admit, Anakin is kinda crazy, but he's no liar and he's not likely to denounce someone as a Sith Lord as part of a practical joke. Let's stick to reality here, Mace.
It makes you look even less sympathetic when you tell Anakin -- still the Chosen One, remember? -- that you have to kill Palpatine without trial because he is too dangerous to be allowed to live. WTF? I hate to break it to you, but that was actually the same advice Palpatine gave the Chosen One, also his soon-to-be apprentice, regarding the murder/execution of Count Dooku.
Which side are you on, anyway?