Tangle 68/77 (PG-13) Anakin, Obi-Wan, others.

[wyncatastrophe]

Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Star Wars.  I am not making any profit from this work of fan fiction.

Author's note: Originally, when I posted it at ffn, this chapter began with Anakin and Ryn walking back to Sarta's house, being greeted by the natives, who now regard Anakin as a hero.  Then Ryn invites him to go to bed with her, "just to sleep," and

Comments

[darth_eldritch]

But I like!

Poor Kitraal! and who is the pleasantly sophisticated voice with a Coruscanti accent? hmmm

And Anakin and his disturbing dreams, they must be a terrible burden.

[wyncatastrophe]

Aha! Suspiciously sophisticated voices ftw …

As per AOTC, yeah. :)

Thank you!

[darth_eldritch]

You're welcome! :)

I really like your writing style here. It flows very smoothly and the dream sequence flows into it. And Ryn seemed very natural how she sleeps in the bed snuggled up to Anakin.

[wyncatastrophe]

Thank you, I appreciate that. I think the other version (still up on ffn: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6258592/68/Tangle) was a little too didactic, or something. Oddly enough I left the rest of the chapter as it was, but I think removing the talking scene changed the tone. Either way, I'm glad the end product works for you! :)

[darth_eldritch]

You're welcome!

The old version was cute (it comes across as Ryn being playful), but this one flows nicely.

LJ HATES ME WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN ...

[wyncatastrophe]

In retrospect, I should probably have cut most of the shower scene in the last chapter, too, since only that last part advanced the plot, but … I tend to indulge myself a little with fan fiction. *shrug*

Re: LJ HATES ME WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN ...

[darth_eldritch]

But shower scenes are fun!

I don't remember if I commented on it, but I liked it very much.

Yes, thank you, lj!

Re: LJ HATES ME WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN ...

[wyncatastrophe]

You didn't, but anyway I just don't think it held interest very well.

LJ is not behaving today …