Later days, Hopey
Man, I just went back and read a lot of the older stuff here. From 2000 to I guess 2005 this journal was a kind of safe haven where I could write whatever I wanted about whatever I wanted, and even given that power, I didn't do that very much. I talked a lot about albums I was listening to and projects I was doing. I still do this. But you do not get to say anything that helps anyone until you Tell the Truth, which doesn't mean Not Lying, it means seeking what's true and taking responsibility toward the way in which it's said.
It was a way to hone a style without a content and real life was needed to draw content out of the style, to take seriously the responsibility you have toward the things you have to say. I still don't feel safe, typing this, but I'm working on it in a gazillion ways outside this pond that used to seem like the world, as sad as that is. I remember spending days trying to keep myself from updating livejournal, reading books very fast in full on panic mode and being unable to retain more than a couple of sentences. I remember spending days thinking I don't give a fuck if I update livejournal too much or not and vomiting free-associative nonsense all over the little update box. Both of these are important impulses; the self you write is the only thing anyone means by an astral self; you are teaching it to breathe in the world. And through this you are creating the space by which you can maybe one day breath also.
I had a youth that doesn't seem like it resembles anyone's I've ever met, ever, except in strange emotional resonances, and one day I guess I have to find a way to make it clear what that is and what that means. I guess this was some kind of starting point toward speaking at all outside of Projects, which is the first step toward speaking through Projects, bringing the powers you're going to develop anywhere and yoking them to responsibilities.
So check out tinyletter.com/jwthornton for RADICAL UPDATES guys
It was a way to hone a style without a content and real life was needed to draw content out of the style, to take seriously the responsibility you have toward the things you have to say. I still don't feel safe, typing this, but I'm working on it in a gazillion ways outside this pond that used to seem like the world, as sad as that is. I remember spending days trying to keep myself from updating livejournal, reading books very fast in full on panic mode and being unable to retain more than a couple of sentences. I remember spending days thinking I don't give a fuck if I update livejournal too much or not and vomiting free-associative nonsense all over the little update box. Both of these are important impulses; the self you write is the only thing anyone means by an astral self; you are teaching it to breathe in the world. And through this you are creating the space by which you can maybe one day breath also.
I had a youth that doesn't seem like it resembles anyone's I've ever met, ever, except in strange emotional resonances, and one day I guess I have to find a way to make it clear what that is and what that means. I guess this was some kind of starting point toward speaking at all outside of Projects, which is the first step toward speaking through Projects, bringing the powers you're going to develop anywhere and yoking them to responsibilities.
So check out tinyletter.com/jwthornton for RADICAL UPDATES guys